Alex was never born. Instead, he was fashioned out of rock and steel by seven separate gods from seven separate religions. He was set upon the earth at the time of the dinosaurs, which he promptly ate into extinction. Being the only human around, Alex got bored and decided to duplicate himself until he came up with a female, which happened on his ninth attempt. This female had relations with the eight other replicas hundreds of times, until much of the world was populated. Alex was pleased with this. After breaking up Pangaea because he was bored, Alex decided to build the pyramids. This took approximately 17 minutes to do. All this work made him tired, and because he had never slept before, he took a quick thousand-year nap. When he awoke, he ate three volcanoes and drank an ocean. While battling a cold and killing the world's last dragon, Alex built the Eiffel Tower, the Statue of Liberty, and the Golden Gate Bridge. When he placed the bridge in San Francisco, he started the band the Misfits, which invented rock-and-roll. They were the biggest band in the history of the world for many years, until Alex broke up the group in 1983. He then formed the band Samhain, which instantly became the world's second-biggest band ever. Again, Alex got bored with what he was doing, and in his spare time he discovered the cure for cancer and the meaning of life, but kept them to himself because he liked seeing people suffer. Eventually, he broke up Samhain and started to release albums under the name Alex. He wrote every note, played every instrument, and manufactured every single album out of his own blood. Today, when he's not busy time-traveling, Alex enjoys hanging out on the moon and sipping green tea.
