A few epigraphs here... tasteless to varying degrees:
"You can't slit the throat of every cocksucker whose character it would otherwise fucking improve."
"I think that the human heart yearns to be lifted up. What lifts us up with less excess weight and baggage better than anything else is a story about our brothers and sisters. But it's disingenuous not to recognize that certain moments in history make it hard to acknowledge all our familial connections."
-David Milch
"That shit never happened, but those were the days."
"You know how concerned people are about appearances. 'This is attractive. That is not.' Well, that is all behind me. I now do what others only dream. I make art until someone dies. See? Hee hee hee hee hee."
-Joker
"Like a moth mistakes a lightbulb for the moon and goes to hell."
-Tom Waits
"Not knowing how to cook is like not knowing how to fuck."
-Robert Rodriguez
"I want a dead little boy strapped to the front of my quad when I roll up. That way they know what I'm all about. They know my business."
-Jordan Frey
I am 3'9" tall and am covered head to toe in coarse, black hair. I like to put on a sleeveless, neon green body stocking with leg warmers and lurk around town wrestling the elderly. I call myself "The Mantis." My fingers look just like tater tots, and I'm lookin' for a red-hot Voodoo mama to work my crooked heart.
An old professor of mine told me today that everytime he sees me, he thinks that I'm a Russian Orthodox priest - whatever the hell that's supposed to mean. Then we talked for the first half hour I was supposed to be in a painting class about roadkill, AK-47's, 1970's era space vehicles, why middle aged lesbians don't like him, killer whale funerals, and Byzantine incense burners. Damn right I missed class to talk to this guy. This cocksucker is one of a kind; an artifact from a tribe that never existed; a bear-pawed, wizened reliquary of diparate facts, stories, knowlege, horseshit and lunacy that I haven't had the opporitunity to speak with since he came to my show last January, and upon seeing my family told me he felt like he was at a Sicilian Mafia pow-wow. Hell, it beats sitting in class, drawing that naked guy with his fucking cock ring one more fucking time. The motherfucker always sits or lays with his legs splayed to proudly display that goddamn pierced appendage. YES, BUDDY, WE KNOW YOU HAVE A COCKRING. WE KNOW IT'S HUGE AND IT PROBABLY HURTS IF YOU HAVE ANY FEELING LEFT IN YOUR DICK AT ALL. NOW TUCK IT UP INSIDE YOUR HAIRY ASS CRACK SO I DON'T SPEND THE REST OF THIS CLASS HOLDING BACK MY LUNCH AS MY EYES ACCIDENTALLY GRAZE THAT 2 GUAGE DOORKNOCKER HANGING PENDULOUSLY FROM THE STRETCHED OUT SHIP SAIL THAT USED TO BE YOUR FORESKIN.
Anyway, ladies, enough about another guy's penis. Mine tastes like chocolate fondue or Lucky Charms. You know, whatever you're into.
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