John E. On the Spot!

Funky. Entropy personified . Not domesticated. Quixotic. Some of my favorite words are glockenspiel, salamander, spelunking , onomatopoeia, trillium, humbucker, donkey, mukluks, and quixotic. I have an inescapable weakness and affinity for hazel eyes and redheads . I am addicted to Burt's Beeswax. I am not a vegetarian, I like my steaks rare to medium-rare , and I can drink milk wth anything and everything. I love squealie notes, skipping stones, and skinny dipping . I enjoy expensive cigars and dark beers . I have a tendency to sabotage myself. I absolutely abhor mayonnaise , and consequently, anything that is made with or touches it. I prefer dark chocolate over milk chocolate, and parties over bars. I like to cuss . I don't buckle up and I drive with my knees. I can touch my nose with my tongue. I believe that dinosaurs are kickass, and that a smile (and a skirt ) can be the sexiest thing a girl can wear. I love playing hackeysack, bocce ball, and just about anything that uses a plastic flying disc . Tequila shots and cheap whiskey are simultaneously my friends and my enemies. My right ear acts as a direct link, choke button, and ignition switch to the most base, profane, and primal areas of my brain . I am/am not a homebody. I am rarely ever serious, but I oft times pretend to be, and that tends to upset/confuse people. I have four bass guitars named Lolita, Natalie, Shannyn, and Scarlet, and I am a certified black belt. I am forever grateful for my friends and family, despite how I act at times. I can say my alphabet backwards faster than you can, even while inebriated. I hate wasps, hornets, bees , and just about anything that can fly and possibly bite/sting me. I do not practice religion, I am just a natural at it. I wish I was a rapper . Cereals that I like: Honey Bunches of Oats, Honey Bunches of Oats w/ Strawberries, Frosted Mini Wheats, granola with raisins, Honeycomb. Other things I love: cookies , doughnuts, Dannon Activia yogurt, jacuzzis , baked goods, hammocks , lazy Sundays, lazy rivers, jams/jellies, headrubs , back scratches, Voltron, my Nintendo Wii. I pop my joints more than I probably should. I live to entertain, and make myself laugh. I grow beards because I can, because I think I look good with one , and I do it with pride. I can do a one-handed cartwheel while shotgunning a beer .