Jobie

a real neurotic making so much fuss about every detail of every *&$@!% event in this crazy small world, who never outgrows sanrio stuffs, fascinated with the extremities of the so-called l*i$fe, haunts everyone with never-ending questions of whatever topic under the sun, moon and stars ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------ i'M a CoMmOn GirL WiTh CoMmOn ThOuGhTs aNd i'Ve LeD a CoMmOn LiFe. I hAvE nO mOnUmEnT aNd mY nAmE WiLL sOoN bE FoRgOtTeN, bUt i HaVe LoVeD aNoThEr WiTh aLL mY hEaRt aNd SouL aNd tO mE tHiS hAs aLwAyS bEeN eNoUgH... The Notebook Nicholas Sparks --------------- GESTALT PRAYER I do my thing and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations And you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I, And if by chance, we find each other, it's beautiful. If not, it can't be helped.------------------------------- This is not to put me in a box or a label on myselfâ€Â¦heck, whatever! I just got in the mood to know how I see myselfâ€Â¦I got a fair complexion but I always think that it is just a consolation for my pimple-prone (I got from my Dad) and very, very oily facial skin you could fry on it, yuck! (I got from my Mom)... Good genes, ayt???!!!! Hehehe not quiteâ€Â¦South Border’s correct! “You can never really have it allâ€Â¦Ã¢€? Nicely said, huh!!! Too bad, I’m used to bad skin days, which really, really get in the way of my self-esteem (Been bruised, been wounded, been scarred great-big deal!). Behind this genes thing, I can say that my skin is a reflection of the state I’m in as well. It’s about stress, pressure and nicest of all, if I’m ever getting enough sleepâ€Â¦there you go! I am wide-faced (Parungao side!!!), not really “thick-skinnedâ€? (I could be) ‘coz I’m quite timid in a very weird and most of the times unreasonable way you wouldn’t think I’m being shy. I sometimes think that my shy disposition is often misunderstood that others think I’m a real snob or somethingâ€Â¦I figured, insecurity’s a tough thingâ€Â¦I’ve felt misunderstood for itâ€Â¦gotta heal it, sick kiddoâ€Â¦tsktsk..bad for you, girl!!! (Or for anyone, I would guess) Wide-faced that I am, I realized I could take some chin from those who have too much of itâ€Â¦anyone??? I used to be chubby and obese during my early years. Thanks to college thesis, stress and tons of control and focus, I got to a weight that’s good enough for me and dare I say to the “You-were-so-fat-before-what-did-you-do?â&eur o;?-peepz. Sometimes I don’t know how to take the reactions of those same people. Do I take it as compliment OR plain kind word OR a realization of how nice it was of them not to hurt my feelings by saying I was too obese though deep inside them they think I’m a human pig OR think of them as thinking that I took a pill (Of course not! Maybe sometime in the future! hehehe) or prayed for a miracle for me to be this way (More like it!!!) I think that a bob/shorter hair cut is smart, makes one look younger, definitely cool and practically speaking---way manageable!!! If it were not for my wide face I’d go for it (I’m still saving guts). This is not to say I don’t love having my long hair (Had it ages)â€Â¦I believe I look older for my age (Gotta take “Stress tabs!â€?) I have this serious look (very deceiving, mind you) which others mistake for a smirk, frown, intimidationâ€Â¦I do smile and when I do you’d see cheek flesh rising (C’mon, imagine!!!), probably one thing that you’d remember me forâ€Â¦ I have this (unconscious) habit (maybe subconscious) of walking too fast as if I’m in a hurry over something. Candidate for a walkaton??? If I come to think of what i hate about myself, one would be my gait. I think I am the extreme type (very unhealthy), either too much or very less of most things. You can bring me along anywhere you want me toâ€Â¦as in anywhere. I could carry on long trips much more endure different sorts of peepz. I could be onion-skinned sometimes and easily touched by circumstances that I get teary-eyed so quickly! I am sensitive. I know/ have an idea at least/feel IT before you tell me so! I can’t believe it myself sometimes. I believe I am led to be alone most of the times, from work (slave to 3 boss and more!), to living in the city, being a mall rat, to watching movies (including last full shows), etc. Through out my whole life? I still have to find outâ€Â¦I am spontaneous, frank and I care, that’s why! I am sentimental, treasuring things I consider keepsakes, others would’ve consider trash, no way for me! I’m such a mall rat my Mom used to say she’d buy me a room at the mall. I love “dressing upâ€? and believe in “Power Dressingâ€? (They’d think I have the cash though I have noneâ€Â¦hehehe) I believe that “Everything happens for a reason.â€? My family: Let’s make this one of it’s kindâ€Â¦I have a Taurus for a Dad and a Libran for a Mom. They’re into business and have been very good providers. I hate my Dad’s smoking habits he’s got sick becoz of it and I hate my Mom’s nagging, she puts the stress on us! My Dad’s very knowledgeable of his roots and I admire him for that! He has ways of making me feel things, being the man of few words that he is. My Mom’s good with money I wish I were too. She’s a superwoman I wish she realizes she’s human and needs to rest too. I have a brother who’s oh- so- goooood with computers and gadgets and everything else that come with it and I’m the ever-oh-so-proud sis! Did I say we love to hang out in his room and goof around and more!!! I have a younger sis, the youngest sib who’s so humorous makes me chuckle and a gifted poet too. I agree with her, "If u can't say anything nice, don't say anything..." Ours hasn't been the kind where I'm older, she should learn from me...I just learn so much from her as well! ----------------------------------------------------- "I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile... How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside." Susanna Kaysen