SAINT lil CHRIS

My life, what a ride. I have deep roots in the LA Punk Scene. I'm a native Angeleno. The first time someone told me about Punk Rock in the 8th grade, I was on a mission to find out more about it. Luckily for me I ended up in an all boys Catholic high school in Boyle Heights, had easy access to Downtown LA and found my way to my first show at the Hong Kong Cafe. Spent a lot of time hanging out at the Atomic Cafe. From there I discovered the clubs in Hollywood. I have countless Oki Dog stories. I've been extremely fortunate to have seen so many great shows. Unfortunately my hearing has been affected...Oh well, it was worth it.
In retrospect, what is so special about those early days is that the friends and people that I hung out with as a teen, those people today have become my family- that is the ones that have survived- and we are still as close as ever. I won't get all morbid and tell you how many beautiful friends and acquaintances that have past on. You wouldn't believe me if I gave you a number count anyways.
Today I'm not so overtly unconventional in apperance, but in my soul I am still very much a Punk.
Post Punk I stayed close to the LA music scene, Death Rock and so on. I will not be so bold and say that I'm an artist (I've done stuff here and there), but I've had the great privilege to have been surrounded by many wonderfully talented people my entire life.
My life since has taken many twist and turns, and lots of ups and downs. I'll not bore you with specifics, but suffice it to say I have been in many scary predicaments and long periods of darkness. What is so wonderful is that I have lived to tell about it. Through it all I never lost my sense of humor nor my faith that it will all turn out ok, and you know what, that's exactly what has happened.
It has been many years since those dark days. I have been very fortunate and have found a sense of peace with who I am, and have been pretty fucken happy and content for many years.
It is true what they say, and I say this with the utmost humility..now that I'm a bit older I'm definitely wiser. I do not feel the need to jump though so may hoops and run around like I don't know where I'm going. I'm not afraid to try new things and go deeper to discover who I am and what makes me tick. These days I pretty much know what I like and don't like. I'm also very much in a constant state of discovery. Spiritual development is very much a part of my life-not in the conventional, mainstream sort of way. It's appalling to me what has happened in the name of religion, and all religions are guilty in my book.
I continue to love music and I go to shows to keep up with the music scene when I have the energy to do so. Mostly I work a lot and spend a lot of time with my partner and our friends.
I love that my friends get me, and I never have to be anything other than who I am. I don't think I can put into words how much my friends mean to me. We have all been through so much together, and we continue to laugh like we don't have a care in the world. I've been extremely blessed with extaordinary relationships and to have known fabulously outrageous characters. People really are a fucken hoot...
I travel when I can. Although lately I'm pretty content staying home. I love going to the movies or to catch a band here and there. I love the outdoors-hiking, camping, beach, etc. Overall, I can't complain. Life is actuall pretty GREAT!!
I am so very grateful for the many wonderful experiences I've had. I don't even think I would trade in the dark periods. I believe those times have accelerated my growth both spiritually and has helped me to deal with what's going on now. I'm definitely much stronger than I thought. Through all the adventures and misadventures, I have to say I had and continue to have a shit load of fun.
Of course I could go on, but really, what's the point. I have countless great memories and stories. Countless Outrageous Punk Rock adventures. Anywhere from riots on the Sunset Strip at the Wiskey, The frist time I took LSD at the age of fifteen and my mind exploded open, ridiculous trips to San Francisco as a young teen to see bands, getting involved in some scary shit that if my mother knew she would have chained me to my bed for life. The somewhat fuzzy, but very romantic times of the early Death Rock scene and the beautiful people I met during that period. The long and very eventful friendship with Clare and Kenny(sometimes too eventful). Beautiful memories of going to the ballet to see the Russian companies. Entering Notre-Dame de Paris Cathedral for the first time and tears welling up in my eyes from the sheer beauty of the place. Countless road trips, driving from Amsterdam to Paris. All the trips with Ellen to New York and Arkansas, spending a month in Mainland China at the age of eighteen. Reading Oscar Wilde's "De Profundis" after a particularly tragic period in my life. The wonderfully pleasant and somewhat shocking experience of going to confession at Saint Peter’s Basilica in Rome and the priest telling me that being gay wasn't a sin (I never confessed being gay because I never thought it was a sin. It just came up). Sad times, many, many happy time and just life stuff. But really, who the fuck cares. Memories are wonderful, but it's today that really counts.
Today I'm in a relationship with a wonderful man. At this time I don't think I could articulate in words what my partner means to me. It just seems so beyond my ability to describe, so I'll not try. Suffice it to say it's very magical and... He's a great guy.
Maybe I'll have the where-with-all to write more later, but I doubt it.
Just remember when you see me...I may look normal or somewhat normal, but I ain't ;)
"Thou wilt die soon and thou are not yet simple nor free from perturbations, nor without suspicion of being hurt by external things, nor kindly disposed towards all; nor dost thou yet place wisdom only in acting justly"
Marcus Aurelius
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