You push me away
Another black day
Let's count up the reasons to cry My Confessions:
2/21/07-
And waking up to you these past few days knowing I can't call you mine is the hardest thing I've done in a while.
2/22/07
What a great day. Awesome times with Awesome friends.
2/23/07
Now I know who my true friends are
2/24/07
I recived awesome news today. YAY.
2/25/07
I'm a sucker for gummy bears =)
2/26/07
Silly girls need to control their jealousy. Honestly.
2/27/07
I woke up to even BETTER news today! WOO! hehe
3/04/07
oh man oh man... BEST last two days ever. Many smiles and butterflies in tummy.
3/05/07
Rainy Monday by Shiny Toy guns... the lyrics say it all. This song reminds me of you like crazy.
3/06/07
I think I actually like my job. oh andd Thursday
3/7/07
Please don't break my heart
3/17/07
I couldnt be any happier... no lie
3/18/07
ummm...Meowww ^_^
3/19/07 I think I'm gonna use the last of my money to buy more vodka >_<
3/20/07
I cant believe this
3/21/07
I'm out of my mind
3/22/07 Self pity will get YOU nowhere. It never did for me.
3/26/07
Everyones full of secrets...like if they lived double lives
3/28/07
And if you were with me tonight I'd sing to you just one more time. A song for a heart so big
3/29/07 I will never compare... no I'm not okay.
4/1/07
Thanks for all the birthday wishes everyone!
PS: I got my first tattoo ^_^
4/3/07
WOW...these past few days have been a rollercoaster.
4/4/07 Faded memories ugh nonsense. Memories never go away. They fuckin stick to you like glue.
4/7/07 NY visit next week naggers
4/9/07 No NY visit because life hates me. GAYGAYGAY
4/11/07 Maybe I have such a hard time trusting because I was so used to being a big fat liar but hey I was also lied to quite a bit. Fuck "Were All Liars"
4/12/07 Today I took a long walk. It was awesome.
4/14/07 Airport today =)
4/17/07 So I found you
Found a way all through the quiet cold of inner darkness
And now that you're here
It becomes so clear
I have waited for you always
4/18/07 A dead start in my head and the day's been laid the things I really want always torn from my heart you never saw the way how I wanted you to stay and now you're gone I'm on my own
4/26/07 So... yeah really stressful past few days but I think everything is just about set with all the paperwork so I can go to school =)
4/27/07 Thank you =)
5/4/07 Night at the Museum is a cute movie. Watch it.
5/9/07 Life is full of false hopes. Just when I think my life is finally where it should be someone does something amazingly aweful to make that change. I feel so foolish. I feel like I'm loosing hope in everything
5/11/07 Trust me this pain is temporary.
5/14/07 This chemistry no one can brake.
5/16/07 I miss my friends and being home :/
5/22/07 I told most of you the good news...If you have no idea what I'm talking about then just ask. I dont want too many people to know =)
5/24/07 Turning that frown upside down.
5/25/07 "everything happens for a reason... sometimes things fall apart just so another thing can fall together. but in the end; what's meant to be will always finds its way" =)
6/1/07 FUCKING GAY
6/12/07 Broken heart, broken mind.. when you let me in didn't you know where I had been? That didn't stop you from breaking me again. Guess what video kid... this games over.
6/18/07
Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be ok
Though my skies are turning gray
6/22/07 And I wonder when I sing along with you if everything could ever feel this real forever if anything could ever be this good again
6/23/07 Still hurting like it was just yesterday
6/30/07 My days just keep getting more and more shitty
7/16/07 Sort out your life and then get back to me
7/20/07 I got a jobbb I got a job!!! yep! I'm basically telling everyone and thier momma
7/26/07 I hate you =)
8/06/07 I'm an emotional mess
8/19/07 The long awaited visitation has come =)
8/21/07 Rochester left me more confused than I already was
8/22/07 This friendship thing is so hard for me sometimes. Especially since its not what I want. =/
8/24/07 It's like nothing in this world can make these feelings I have for you go away. Just make them go away.
8/25/07 Sleeping last night was such a task. I kept waking up from the most horrible dreams imaginable.
8/26/07 Open your eyes and realize why I am really hurting
8/27/07 I always want the impossible
8/29/07 can't understand how everyone goes on breathing when true love ends.
8/31/07 What I would do to press rewind to those days were we were so happy in each others arms
9/01/07 whoever it is that did IT you're a fuckin asshole. thanks.
9/02/07 thank you Guy for taking to go see Halloween. Such a good movie... go see it! NOW and also go eat checkers cause I did and it was sweeeet lol
9/03/07 A movie script ending.
9/04/07 Couldnt be happier =)
9/05/07 sooo amazing
9/07/07 you cant be replaced
9/08/07 6 am cuddling sessions
9/09/07 It's funny how no matter how happy people think you are you find yourself drowing in depression by the end of the night.
9/10/07 RIP Mickey... this isnt fair
9/11/07 I really cannot understand why youre doing this
9/16/07 Im getting my new apartment soon
9/17/07 It's starting to get chilly out. Yay for fuzzy jackets.
10/07/07 Sorry for being M.I.A. for forever but yeah I'm still alive everyone
10/12/07 I'm off from work today lets chill =)
10/28/07Things eventually come to an end
11/06/07 I got my septum pierced again =)
11/12/07 I need a job
11/23/07 I got a new job at Zumiez..good cause Im broke as hell
1/18/08 yeah it was time for an update. For those who I didn't get a chance to tell I moved to Miami...again
1/21/08 Between the trees... it's been a while
1/31/08 I feel ugly
2/07/08 NEW PUPPY! if all goes as planned =)
2/13/08 I need to re-dye my hair. I look like Barney
2/14/08 I have some serious thinking to do
2/15/08 I'm so torn
2/22/08 I'm madd happy =)
2/26/08 YAY! ^_^
2/27/08 I just always wanna have you right here by my side the futures near but never certain at least stay here for just tonight
3/01/08 If I could give you one gift, I would give you the ability to see yourself as I see you, so that you could see how truly special you are.
3/10/08 With three words we give our hearts away. Are you ready to give yours?
3/14/08 Get wasteddddd
3/17/08 Happy St Patty's day! Have an awesome one doods. I know I will! =)<333 hehe
3/18/08 oh goodness..
3/21/08 Tell me it's not impossible to love one another unconditionally
3/24/08 You're more than welcome to live in my heart, and pay no rent =)
3/25/08 Love is hope. Hope is faith. Faith is trust. Trust love.
3/27/08 A girl is much more than she seems, not a toy by any means. Underneath the makeup and hair, there's a sign saying handle with care.
4/10/08 I'm feeling great =)
4/14/08 I got three new piercings. One of them hurts like a bitch right now though =/
5/25/08 Anyone wanna donate to the Auris Donation...all proceeds go towards my rent =P
6/04/08 Smile kid. This experience called life doesn't last forever. =)
6=7/14/08 I truely am thee luckiest girl alive at the moment. Yeaaa son
6=7/15/08 My hair really looks like candy... it's making me crave fruit snacks like crazy >_<
7/18/08 Tonight when all the lights were out I felt alone. I listened to the saddest song I know and as strange as it may seem music was my new company.
7/20/08 No one will ever get me down cause life is too wonderful right now =)
7/22/08 Today was awesome. Enough said
7/24/08 Thank you for dinner =)
7/25/08 Broken hearts and shattered dreams could never carry your fractured world
7/27/08 My feelings are growing
7/28/08 My emotions are so fucked and out of control.
7/29/08 Hopelessly I'll love you endlessly
Hopelessly I'll give you everything
7/30/08 AAF<3
7/31/08 Kiss on the mouth, bliss of a touch. Hand in a hand, Killing the fiend. I'll write my love on more than a thousand weeping willows.
8/1/08 Loving you is like loving the dead. How blissful.
8/2/08 sexy time
8/6/08 I'm really really sick =(
8/7/08 Life is perfect at the moment
8/9/08 ROFL
8/10/08 Pineapple Express was awesome. What a wonderful Sunday
8/12/08 This cold is killin me today. Help?
8/13/08 ayyy bay bay
8/14/08 Love, love is strange
8/15/08 Dont get me wrong If I'm acting so distracted Im thinking about the fireworks That go off when you smile
8/19/08 Yay for yummy dinner tonight. Boo for my tummy ache right now.
8/21/08 Patience is the key. Patience is the key. Patience is the key
8/25/08 GOOD mood
9/02/08 Life is always full of surprises for me geezus
9/04/08 ooooh boooy >_<
9/08/08 I thought I had everything figured out then I got hit with this brick wall of emotions and I cant seem to get around it but take my word for it I will break through this wall because this time I'm stronger. I can do this I can do this... who the fuck am I kidding
9/09/08 I look like I feel today
9/10/08 New hair color this weekend
oh andd
be safe gigantore
9/16/08 What will it take to forget this, time is changing time is changing nothing. Were going back and forth and I'm starting to think that I'm just wasting my time. Where do I go from here, this void in my life. Where do I go from here I need something more
9/17/08 It seems to never work out like I planned... Like we planned. One day it will come together...
9/18/08 bebe sonogram on Saturdayyyyyy
9/22/08 My love goes to Darren and his family
9/26/08 This is killing me. Everyone says be strong for the baby but how can I when the world keeps bringing me down?
10/01/08 I swear my belly grows by the minute
10/03/08 Mahopac for the weekend. Text me if you need me<33
10/06/08 good weekend. now back to reality... stuck at school
10/07/08 That night you called me beautiful I could hear the innocence in your voice. Never has it felt so real
10/11/08 I get carried away with every day And every fantasy The deeper the wound, The harder I swoon and wish that that was me. So much to say But no words to convey The loneliness building with each passing day But I'm getting used to it
10/13/08 Today: I felt a little lonely until I felt that little pinch baby gave me to remind me I wasn't ;)
10/15/08 all I have to say is dramatic chipmunk =P
10/19/08 I wanna go to Bayville screampark! =((((
10/20/08 Since when is commitment such a big deal?
10/22/08 mmmmmmmmmmm whateverrrrrrrrrr
10/25/08 You know what really sucks?... my face =P
10/29/08 Just when I thought I could relax turns out I have another huge project due in two weeks -_-
10/30/08
ingredients: Sugar, Water, Purple =P
11/03/08 I will hold a candle up to you to singe your skin. brace yourself... i'm bent with bitterness. When your apologies fail to ring true, you're so slick with that sarcastic slew
11/05/08 How can you just walk away from me When all I can do is watch you leave 'Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain And even shared the tears You're the only one who really knew me at all
11/14/08 going to see 007 tonight
11/18/08 You could say it But it won't mean a thing Cause you know I'll fall for Each and every pretty word you sing
11/24/08 you are the only precious thing in my life that will never disappoint me like the world does more and more everyday
11/27/08 Kelly got me a little stuffed animal kitty it's so cute I wish I could get a real kitty =( lol
12/02/08 i'll close my eyes then I wont see the love you dont feel when youre holding me morning will come and ill do whats right, just give me till then to give up this fight cause I cant make you love me if you dont you cant make your heart feel something it wont
12/07/08 I'm fuckin sick and tired of being sick and tired
12/10/08 I need a car............
12/15/08 slowly getting what I've been waiting for
12/16/08 When the night has been too lonely and the road has been too long..and you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong just remember that in the winter, far beneath the bitter snow lies the seed, that with the sun’s love in the spring becomes the rose
12/20/08 happpppppyyyyyyy
12/21/08 I beg for just one more tomorrow
where you hold me down fold me in
deep in the heart of your sins
I break in two over you
And each piece of me dies
And only you can give the breath of life
12/28/08 everything about you is like some complicated dance, like the waltz, that, no matter how many times i practice or rehearse, i can never understand or predict
12/29/08 someday i’ll show you how much i could love you but for now i’ll sleep through my weekend opportunities beside you. it’s getting chilly without the blanket of hope I once felt comfort with.
12/30/08 drowning in a sea of lies
12/31/08 but i'm watching you take off your clothes
your the star of this movie
the love the hate the guilt my fate is hanging in the balance
you have no idea what you do to me
1/1/09 So I look up to the stars and wonder out loud why everything I had in life has fallen from my arms
Can you even hear this song?
I'm screaming at the clouds, screaming to a galaxy
That never cared at all, that I need YOU here
1/2/09 those lines in your face tell the tragic story of late nights and heart breaks
1/4/09 keeping my head up high ;)
1/5/09 I'd listen to the words he'd say but in his voice I heard decay
the plastic face forced to portray all the insides left cold and gray
there is a place that still remains it eats the fear it eats the pain
the sweetest price he'll have to pay the day the whole world went away
1/6/09 goddamn this constant mind fuck
1/6/09 from your kind eyes to those words you whisper in bed, youre everything a girl could ever want. This dangerous game called love is one I'm determined to win cause sweetie I refuse to be alone thinkin about you at night and how shes taking something my heart will always belong to.
1/7/09 <33333333 Fuck off =)
1/8/09 I'll be there to calm each and every one of your fears
1/9/09 Sing me a different tune
1/10/09 You are forgiven but this just does not mean that what was done is okay
Trust is destroyed for you and me
What's done is done and this will never be right The sun has gone dry so we can sleep forever
You can be free to turn your back I'm not holding a gun
1/11/09 I’m caught in the middle of my own reality.
1/16/09 They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will
1/17/09 Sometimes I don't feel strong enough to get through this. I'm only 20 but I feel like I have struggles that a girl shouldn't have at my age. I need help but I don't think anyone can help me. This is just another hurdle I must leap over. It's a never ending track of pain.
1/19/09 you just rolled me over and all i'm feeling are your soft lips, and all i'm breathing is your air, and how i want to end this cold war
can i end this cold war?
why go on if you're still scared of what i'm not scared of
1/22/09 a coma might feel better than this
1/23/09 The warmth of your embrace has lifted me from the ground
The strength you've given me I can never truly thank you
Through the darkness I found you by my side
And I'll make this promise to you I will never let you down
1/25/09 Where do we go from here?
1/27/09 All I know is you keep me coming back for more
1/29/09
2/01/09 A tad bit neglected
2/02/09 I'd rather waste my life pretending than have to forget you for one whole minute
2/03/09 slightly aggravated
2/04/09 Even though I'm in intense pain I'm still in good spirits... weirdo
2/09/09 GOOD mood ;)
2/17/09 Nothing will get in the way of my happiness
2/19/09 It was always meant to be
2/20/09 I've hurt so many
I am real this time I've said I love you
Will you trust me? Deceived and broken so many hearts I'm scared of failing Failing you, my dear
I know I'm weak I know I'm broken you're beauty is in my heart you're beauty keeps me walking on
I will hold you forever my love this promise is real
2/24/09 no more worries
2/26/09 Dr Seuss said it best
"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams"
2/28/09 we can live like jack and sally if we want, where you can always find me and we'll have Halloween on Christmas and in the night we'll wish this never ends
3/2/09 Run with me a little further we can make it if we stay together
Look at us we're almost there
3/3/09 I need some answers right NOW
3/5/09 It's just like poetry inside to hear you breathing by my side like I'm in heaven and I've died so glad you're with me for this ride
3/7/09 perfect
3/16/09 slowly dying on the inside
3/17/09 I'm not strong enough for this shit
3/21/09 thank you for being totally fuckin awesomeeeee
3/22/09 If you can wait 'til I get home then I swear we can make this last
3/23/09 shhhiiit I feel a lot better now =)
3/24/09 I want to live in a town with no California. I want to cancel the moon and spend my days sleeping in with you
3/25/09 good fuckin mood
3/26/09 imissyou
3/31/09 I got this uneasy feeling
4/1/09 bad move
4/3/09 I'd walk through hell for you
4/6/09 what the hell would I do without you
4/12/09 anticipating where this will go
4/13/09 I am nothing that's of worth to you. Take all I have. Though I may never understand it I won't stop believing. You offer me another chance a new solution I don't understand it But I won't stop believing. There is nowhere I would rather be than in your arms
4/17/09 Life is fuckin sweet
4/18/09 Every flower stares and watches
As the wind it takes me away
Before the sun shone upon me
Now the wind it takes me away
4/19/09 WHATEVERRRRRRRRRRR
4/20/09 These city lights will never be as beautiful as your eyes
4/22/09 very anxious
4/30/09 Doomed to be miserable
5/2/09 thanks =/
5/2/09 what the helllllllllllll >_<
5/6/09 I’m building an antenna transmissions will be sent when I am through. Maybe we can meet again further down the river and share what we both discovered
5/7/09 soo sososososososossoosoooo lame
5/8/09 I wish with a snap of my fingers I could make everything okay again cause I really cant take this shit anymore
5/16/09 much needed visit
5/19/09 sick of the vicious cycle
5/20/09 so unsure of what the future holds for me.
5/22/09 well maybe I hurt you sometimes, but let's contrast and compare, lift up your shirt, the wound isn't there
5/25/09 I watched you walk away
Hopeless, with nothing to say
I strain my eyes hoping to see you again
5/26/09 couldnt even look you in the eye
5/27/09 it's never a normal day in my life
5/29/09 for you...
5/31/09 nothing will bring those days back
6/2/09 -_- that is all
6/4/09 i think i managed to fuck things up for good this time =/
6/8/09 kinda worried
6/10/09 Everything is Fucked up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up where do I start
'cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart
6/12/09 I will always be haunted by the memories of what used to be
6/15/09 Goodbyes are meant for lonely people standing in the rain
And no matter where I go it's always pouring all the same.
6/16/09 Hurting
6/17/09 thats whats up =)
6/18/09 relieved that I'm more financially stable
6/24/09 I found something of yours that I borrowed once sometime ago while I was packing up my clothes...as cheesy as this sounds it really fuckin killed me to find something of yours that reminded me of you
7/1/09 whish I knew what happiness felt like again
7/12/09 basically existing
7/17/09 doing what I have to do.
7/21/09 this time I will only put me first
7/23/09 that shit is hilarious
7/24/09 i totally didnt see this one coming
8/2/09 I'm exactly where I want to be
8/14/09 loving myself more than ever
8/15/09 the name of the song was "If it means a lot to you"
8/19/09 over it
10/15/09 I totally forgot about this haha. No one even reads it anyway
12/11/09 happiest woman ever
12/12/09 dont ever doubt this cause this is what you can call a bond that no one can brake
12/13/09 thank you =)
12/20/09 hates this shit.. ..
