... another loosely metered ramble ....***punctuation denotes line change, yeehaaw***come on 'round back and knock cause the front doors always locked.
'spose i should just leave it open since the windows are all broken.
but the wind will wander in, these naked walls arent fit to break it.
it blows so awful cold these days and finds me staring, vacant.
as these three rooms off the hallway and the one atop the stairs.
same as when she left save for the noose i tied up there.
no, o' course ild never use it.
i get the will and then i loose it.
it will be for me the booze that steals my last lungful of air.
i can tell yer tongue is itchin, theres no secrets in this kitchen.
have a seat next to the stove ill tell you all about the rope.
its more of a reminder of the day i couldnt find her.
than a mixed and muddied palette of the colors in my head.
ya see, sometimes i get to drinkin and to thinkin she ain't dead;
not restin peaceful out beneath that patch of trees beyond the shed.
then the morning brings my mem'ries to me,
breakfast but the bottles empty.
im not sure its not her that i heard last night in bed...
loneliness to me is both a friend and enemy.
when madness meets me all alone in the thick hush of night, it is greeted by my lonely
and is ushered in to make itself at home in the pulsing embers fading light.
it shoulders its way into my mind with its perfect, knowing grin full of teeth and disguise and befriends my thoughts while waving in a living death behind me; shuffling breathless fright descends as a numbing blanket of rotted black earth onto my shrinking soul and i become tired of the days and the longer nights as my breath goes and i forget that my senses are just and friendly and that the sun will rise again on a grave down the lane.
the fence that keeps the dead tears itself down between us and i believe that i am lost somewhere in the middle. one living as the dead live, rotting without reason for ruin until a day that i will not recognize takes me unaware.
it is the familiar ache of lonley that throws back theses heavy shadows and reassures me that i am just alone.
...ah, but see here now the tea is hot.
lets chase it with another shot.
lets leave all this alone thats better left alone for now.
no use in digging deeper with this dull and shallow plow.
theres time enough for talk tonight.
this fires fierce and clear and bright.
let misery and moonlight keep their riddles quiet now.
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