Hi everyone, my name is Nikki, as you smartie pants might have guessed from the big "Nikki" above my profile picture. You guys can't be fooled can ya?
A little bit about me, if you don't know, and care to read.
I like pineapple mushroom pizza, and I put avocado on everything, including your mom.
When I eat pizza, I eat the whole thing because that's how much they give you! When I eat ice cream I eat the whole pint, and when I make cookies I lick the spoon, because dammit... it tastes GOOD.
I listen to Eminem in my room with the volume up, grab my would-be balls, and mouth the lyrics to my cat while pretending to hold a microphone.
Everybody thinks I wash my hands after going to the bathroom. Which is... sometimes true, but I like to switch it up and be mysterious like that.
I'm an actress/standup comic, and my goal in life is to eat a horse. Because I've said so many times "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse", that I think I deserve to actually eat one by now.
I can seriously kick your ass at any super mario bros game. Including, but not limited to: Super smash bros, Mario Kart, Mario Golf, and Mario Party.
I like to dance when no one's watching.
..and when I'm drunk
..and when I'm sober in my underwear when everyone is watching... I just like to dance goddammit! Let me dance!
I'm the queen of dance dance revolution. No YOU'RE a nerd.
One day I'm going to own a mansion with a rollercoaster that starts inside and goes through all the rooms and the backyard so walking will be optional in my house.
I'm going to have my own chinese chef who goes out and gets me orange chicken from Panda Express, but pretends that he made it when guests come over, so they'll be like "Wow, tastes just like Panda Express" and I'll be like "Yeah, you wish you had your own chinese chef don'tcha?" and then I'll glance over and wink at him and we'll exchange a silent giggle because only we know the truth.
I once got a fortune cookie and the fortune was this:
"Believe in yourself and you will succeed"
Which made me think hard... about why the hell self-help book authors are now writing fortunes in my freakin' cookie. I then yelled at the cashier for giving me a faulty fortune cookie. I said "this ain't no goddamn fortune", because I'm no fool, and I don't think he'll ever try to pull a fast one on me again.
I get rave reviews:
"Nikki is so cool, I want to put her in my cereal and eat her" --Mario and Luigi
"I sleep with Nikki every night, she's amazing!"--Pumpkin (Nikki's cat)
"We are currently trying to clone a population of Nikki because she's so great"-- The aliens from planet Xubon
This is the official Nikki Limosnero myspace page, it was created because on my original myspace page I denied everyone who I hadn't met in person. I followed the slogan "myspace, a space for friends" to heart, and only accepted, well... friends. But then I started thinking, that's not really fair for all the creepers, the weirdos, the stalkers, the myspace geeks, the fantasy nerds, the hobos, the bums that use myspace at the library, the wannabe models, the Nazis, the pro-lifers, the meatheads, the skinheads, the rednecks, the antichrists, the illegal aliens, the bands that will never make it, the bands that will make it, the child rapists, my mom, or people with down syndrome, is it? No, they should ALL have a chance to be my friend. Because I'm all about peace. And laughing out loud at girls with sideburns or mustaches. You can look forward to exciting blogs and bulletins and event invitations to orgies and kkk rallies (just kidding black people, I love you!!)
So enjoy! Tell all your friends they can now be my friend, and no longer fear rejection!
*except for albinos*
..
Who I'd Like To Meet:
Nick Swardson (Nick, if you're reading this, I lost your number so... you're gonna have to call me). Also, Eminem, the real slim shady, no fakies. Norm McDonald, Kevin James, Adam Cera, Sarah Silverman, and Tina Faye.
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Video Blog #6- Official Hollywood Celebrity
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