Vera the Starchild [R.I.P. Little J]

Brace yourself for rambling. I'm Vera. I'm nineteen-years-old. I know, shocker. I was born in a world of strife. My parents have never been together in my memory. It wasn't meant to be.
I use my green eyes to convey emotion. I abuse my eyes. They probably hate me. All those tears. All that staring. I'm going to be blind and deaf by thirty. I'm living it up. I know everything is going one day, so I'm living it to the fullest. I listen to my music loud and I don't sleep as much as I should. I think sleep is a waste of time, but once I get to sleep it's hard to wake up. It's a battle everyday.
I'm the baby of my family. My brother David surprises me all the time. I'm becoming so proud of him. He's really growing up. My sister Giny is my best friend. Although I feel like sometimes we start to not be as close, we're always there for each other. We can make each other laugh and we can talk for hours. We're distant in age, but not in mind. We just get each other. We're basically total oppposites, so it's kind of like we complete each other. Yeah, cheesey, but kind of true.
My job makes me hate my life. I'm a shift manager at Arby's. No one respects me there. It's teaching me to be more assertive. I've learned a lot working there. I used to love it, but a lot of people have left and it's starting to wear thin. It's ovahhh! Hopefully I can get myself a better job now that I've moved out of stupid Ocala. My goal with this move is to better myself all around. It'll happen. I'm a pizza delivery girl and it is the best job everrr!
I have a lot of trouble with telling people "no." It gives people the ability to really take advantage of me.
I believe that everything happens for a reason. I tell myself that everytime something bad happens.
I could live off of shrimp, cheese (all different kinds), peas, and red ranch from Arby's. I put red ranch on like everything. I need!
I'm definately a night kind of girl. That's when I'm most alive.
I dislike most: being hot, school, Tom Cruise, hickies, working backline, crying, Aunt Flo, brussle sprouts, being lonely, being shy, feeling anxious, leopard print, stains, my violent hiccups,being led on, shows being cancelled, mosquito bites, the sound of styrofoam scraping against a box, the table legs in the back of Arby's scraping against the floor, someone asking me a question and either not listening to the answer or interrupting me-do not ask me a question if you don't care about the answer, people walking slow in front of me, long finger nails on boys, long toe nails, mosquitos, belly buttons, coffee, having to sneeze but it won't come out,stepping in gross things, accidentally spitting when I talk,the way I used to be, buzz cuts, fake tans,people who try too hard, grotesque-ly muscular people, people who somehow found a way to hate me even though I've never talked to them in my life, splinters, hangnails, dry skin, being jealous when I know I shouldn't, not being able to think of a word, itches i can't scratch, skipping CDs, having a song I hate stuck in my head, headaches, etc.
My biggest aspiration in life is to have a family of my own. If the love thing never comes, I'm not going to let that hold me back from having a child. I'll get a sperm donar or something. I'm not sure if there's a guy out there that will truly ever get me and be good for me. We'll see.
I love movie moments.
I'm terrified of heights.
People freak me out. I'm really shy. There's not a lot of people who actually know me. It takes a lot for me to open up to someone.
I'm terrible with words.
I love getting butterflies.
I think too much.
I love too much.
I'm emotionally masochistic.
Drama rides on my back.
Cobalt blue is my favorite color.
I'm afraid of escalators.
My dad and Giny are the two people in my life who make me feel like I can do anything.
I love listening to songs again when I finally can relate to them.
I refer back to Felicity to help me with problems that I'm going through because she kind of mirrors me.
If you take me on an adventure, you'll probably become one of my best friends.
Most horror movies are like comedies to me. They make me giggle. It's a little sick.
I'm the worst story-teller everrrr.
I love wearing dresses.
Smiling's my favorite. :]
"Are you familiar with the term PILS?"
"No."
"Person I'd Like to Stab."
I own way too many clothes. I could probably open my own thrift store some day.
Twilight has become a bit of an obsession. It's a beautiful series-devastatingly romantic. Sometimes when I'm reading, I have to stop to catch my breath because Edward Cullen takes my breath away. I was a little late on becoming a fan, though. Oh well.
It's been awhile since I've colored. It was never really a fascination of mine, though.
Bubble wrap is amazing. I would love a large sheet of it to just wrap around myself and roll around with it and listen to all the bubbles pop.
During the winter, I punch zombies in my sleep. Take a look at my knuckles some time.
Google is my search engine of choice. Whenever I want to learn more about something, google is where I turn. I'm a curious being.
My cursive looks like pooh. When I had to write everything in cursive in sixth grade, it made me hate Language Arts, and that sucks because it's my favorite subject.
I'm not a big doodler.
I'm sad that Polaroid cameras are obsolete. They were so cool. I never got around to buying one of my own like I always said I would. People can no longer shake it like a Polaroid pic-cha.
I always keep my digital camera on me. You never know when you'll see a moment that needs to be captured.
I just saw snow for the first time on my Thanksgiving trip in 2007.
I've never caught a snowflake on my tongue.
Poptarts are overrated.
Disney movies give me good feelings.
I prefer driving with windows down to AC. I acquired that when I started hanging out with that one guy and my bestie with testes.
I'd like to see all the wonders of the world.
I'm kind of all talk and no action.
I already have names picked out for my children.
Gnomes are creepy.
My favorite comedian is Nick Swardson.
I love Nintendo systems.
The Interweb consumes my time.
I love seafood.
I love my laptop.
My car's name is Muhammad. He has personality.
Irish accents are my favorite.
I should probably write a list of what I want to do before I die. I want to be dangerous.
I never use AIM anymore-too many memories.
I love amusement parks, but people hate going with me because I'm afraid of heights, so that really limits the rides.
There's a lot of places that I've never been to. I'd like to explore the world.
I strive to keep my fingernails clean because dirty fingernails freak me out.
I have one tattoo. If I'm close to you, you might know the meaning and what it is.
I always try to find parks in whatever area I go to.
I'm not a big swimmer.
I love to dance. I don't have any coordination or rhythym, but it's fun. :]
I can't wait to experience motherhood.
There's no way that Clay Aiken is human.
Sometimes when I go back and read things that I've written in the past, I surprise myself.
I grew up out in the middle of nowhere. That's where my imagination comes from.
Converse are sexiest things a guy could wear...especially if he's wearing like a little suit thing...mmm...
I don't really like to be the center of attention. Sometimes it's nice, but it makes me blush and all splotchy. Yes, I get splotchy when I'm nervous.
I don't wear make-up.
I love getting new comments and photo comments. It makes me feel like someone actually pays attention to me.
I wish I knew how to let go.
I love discovering new music.
I love having shaved legs.
I was born and raised here in Florida. Gah.
The way someone hugs really says something.
I overanalyze things.
Hugh Grant is charming.
I don't trust dish washers.
I mostly drink only water.
Money means nothing to me.
Washington D.C. is awesome and an educational adventure, but it smells funny.
I miss so many people and moments.
I prefer sunsets to sunrises.
How do you get a job in a toll booth?
I try not to be, but I'm pretty much a jealous person.
My heart has been through hell.
I'd love to move far, far away.
I'm pretty pale.
I don't use perfumes. I prefer having my own scent.
I don't type correctly.
I got stuck in a tree once because I love climbing trees, but heights freak me out.
I've tried various animal foods.
I would never have plastic surgery.
I'm pretty picky about food.
I tend to develop feelings for male friends.
I used to like putting a television show on mute and playing music with it so it would be like a music video. I would laugh when it went together. I also liked to put it on mute and make up what the characters were saying. Lately, I don't watch much television. It's just not satisfying anymore.
I love finding the perfect hat for me. I'm picky.
The thought of plucking my eyebrows used to freak me out. I just wanted to be me-natuaral, but then I realized I looked like a bush man. ha
I have some big teeth. I used to be too self-conscious to smile. Now I just let it all hang out.
I've been told that I have a long neck. I was asking a lady about getting my hair done for prom. She asked me what I wanted done and what kind of dress I had. I told her it was strapless and that I might like an up-do. She told me that that was a bad idea because it would make my long neck look freakishly long. hahaha
I love tacky jewelry.
I hate gold.
I've been told that I have a lovely singing voice. I disagree, but I wish I did. I love singing.
I have a boisterous laugh.
I tend to slouch.
I have tiny wrists.
I only paint my fingernails for special occasions.
I keep my fingernails long. I feel bad with I cut people with them.
I don't really need to wear a bra. haha
I wear all different kinds of underwear.
I prefer flats over heels.
I could use a massage.
Shopping is fun.
I think root beer is gross.
I love going to concerts.
I always take showers. I take bubble baths only for relaxation.
I hate being bored.
I think American Idol is lame.
I'm not much of a people person.
I love to give.
I scare people sometimes.
I hate racism.
I love feeling girly.
Guys are confusing.
I would love to explore the Mall of America.
I can't stand driving in silence.
I find horses to be intimidating.
I like when other people wash my hair.
Burning things can be really fun.
I love just driving for the sake of getting away-no real destination.
I don't trust medication. I react funny to some things.
My mom and step dad bought me a GPS system for graduation. It was the perfect present for me because I have no sense of direction and get lost all the time. I named him Aussie because I gave him a sexy Australian accent.
I don't hold grudges. I just don't have it in me.
I'm a firm believer in pajamas.
I originally got a Myspace profile to keep into contact with bands, but it is quite useful for many different things.
I tend to start talking the way different people talk when I hang out with them for awhile-it's not on purpose.
My hair annoys me a lot.
Finding Nemo is adorable and it is a bit of an inside joke in my family.
I always wonder what it would be like to exist as someone or something else.
I hated high school.
I wish I could find something that I'm really good at so I would know what I really want to do with my life.
I've dyed my hair blue before. I will never dye my hair a natural color.
Love is real. It may be different to different people-but it's real.
Chat lingo is pretty annoying.
I love the different smells that books carry.
I miss being a kid.
Bi-lingual people impress me.
I have a bicycle named Monty.
Big sunglasses are obnoxious.
Socks and sandals should never meet each other.
I've been in love twice. I gave them my all.
Anime is outrageous and fun. :]
Midol is a wonder drug.
Sometimes I cringe about the things I've done.
Jenga and Twister rock at life. Play me anytime.
I can't stand smelling bad.
I hardly ever wear belts.
Grey's Anatomy got me through some tough times.
Music is what keeps me going.
I am discovering that it is a bad idea to date someone with a common name. When things go sour, you will see his name everywhere and it will be a constant reminder.
When we were younger, my brother used to gross me out with saying things about the food we were eating-i.e. oatmeal was lizard guts. I'm a little scarred to this day for the things that he said.
I have gotten better with using the phone. I used to hate it...now it's okay, I guess.
I threaten people a lot.
I've never received a love letter.
The night makes scenes so much more romantic.
I used to be a big hot tea drinker.
Panda bears are my favorite animals.
I tend to be soft spoken. I often have to repeat myself several times.
I always seem to hear things wrong and I hear them as the most inappropriate thing imaginable.
I'd like to make some impact on the world.
Purity is beautiful.
I love cover songs especially if they're totally ridiculous.
I take surveys a lot and I'm not picky.
To each his own.
My self-esteem is pretty low.
I want a love like Edward and Bella's.
I love that Stephanie Meyer redefined vampires in the Twilight saga and made a whole new world in The Host. She's brilliant.
I really really wish I could have seen Blink 182 live when they were still together.
I'm pro-choice.
I hate animal cruelty.
I am for stem cell research.
I believe in creation.
I love when someone plays a song just for me.
I would like to go white water rafting some day.
It's hard for me to grasp the concept of morning.
I love yogurt.
I love Jesus.
I microwave just about everything that I eat.
I get hurt a lot.
I never went to a Homecoming dance when I was in high school. In eleventh grade, the day of Homecoming, my boyfriend loser and I got all dressed up and went to a Say Anything concert. It was great.
I've never been to a Warped Tour show.
I no longer download music.
Laguna Beach was lameeeeeeeeeee.
Camping can be fun.
I can get emotional about songs.
Canoeing is fun.
I'm a firm believer in "please" and thank you."
It's hard for me to hide my emotions.
Hottubs can kill.
I love pearls. They're just so classy.
I can't cook.
I have had two cell phones that have both been camera phones, but I never have used the cameras on them.
I would like to get another lava lamp. My old one broke.
My Aunt Linda gave me this here laptop and I am very grateful.
I have done a few things that are illegal, but I typically abide by the law.
I enjoy the smell of matches.
I can't recall ever wanting a pony.
I never thought that I would like a fish as a pet, but one fateful Valentine's Day, a boy gave me a Betta and I adore this fish. Little J is a great companion. I talk to him, read to him, sing to him, etc etc. :]
I think I'd like to go jet skiing. It would be scary, but fun.
I'm pretty oblivious. I live in my head.
I don't like potato salad, but I love many many different potato products.
Dr. Phil is creepy. The first time I saw him in one of those dating commercials, I screamed. Ask my best friend...I am NOT making this up. haha
I hate when people try to belittle me.
I hate mirrors-especially the ones in fitting rooms. They have the worst lighting to make you look your worst.
Body hair on boys is sexy. I'm not diggin' garden backs or anything, but I like me some hair. ha.
I save most of my money.
I don't do sweatpants.
I think getting in a physical fight with someone might do me some good.
I mostly listen to different variations of rock.
I would love to be in a band and see the world on tour.
I can feel everything and nothing at the same time.
I don't focus on what I eat. I eat what I want when I want.
I always carry mints with me. Gum is not for me.
I really love to snack on ice.
Hungry Howies is the best pizza place.
I used to moon people all the time.
I've never written anything on a bathroom stall before. I should at least do it once-put that on my life list.
I find graveyards interesting-not scary.
Pinky promises are stronger especially when you kiss it.
Spinners are lame.
Spiderwebs can ruin the mood of a walk.
I always want to know the EXACT definition of a word.
I always double dip. I love sauces.
I only watch reality shows with Destinee. It's bonding time for us.
Halls makes the best cough drops ever.
Sometimes when I drive, I zone out and I don't know how I got to my destination without dying.
It seems that I am always in a state of wishing and rarely in a state of contentment.
I wonder how I'll be proposed to.
I'm not Chinese or a tiny bit Asian at all.
I will never have a one-night-stand.
I'd love to go to Japan some day.
I can not draw.
I have some strange eating habits.
I am not on anti-depressants.
I don't bite my nails.
I often stare into nothing.
I like board games.
I appreciate gratitude.
I have never done hardcore drugs before.
I hate cold showers.
I reminisce to myself a lot.
I hate being late.
My roomies are my sister and her boyfriend, Jerry.
I listen to music while I get ready.
This summer will be amazing.
I would never get extensions.
I love that the over-use of a word makes it sound weird.
I've burnt my hair before. That is a horrible smell.
I hate greasy lotion.
Maple flavor tastes good.
I'm learning balance.
I remember duck duck goose. Good times.
I know who Spinner and Jimmy are.
I love tight pants.
I remember cootie catchers. Gosh. haha
Zach likes to constantly remind me how short I am. I don't mind. I like my height...except when it's inconvenient.
Sometimes I want to kill everyone.
I think acoustic music is really soothing.
"That's what she said" is the best ongoing joke ever.
I drop my cell phone a lot. It falls apart everytime.
I like flowers.
Books are fantastic.
I actually have a boyfriend right now and I reeeeeally like love him. :]
I'm not allergic to anything.
Brennan has a mangina.
I think the word "nub" is funny.
When I went a little "bad" for a little bit there, I tried marijuana. It's wayyy overrated.
I don't like Dr. Pepper.
My hair is always in my face.
I burn in the sun.
I have never been to a tanning salon. They're just as bad as the sun, people.
I always use different brands of batteries. It doesn't really matter to me.
Science isn't my best academic subject in school.
I have never drank nailpolish remover.
I feel like our tiny bed was made for us.
I can never remember how to play poker.
I always wear my seat belt.
I hate ironing, but lately, I've been told by a lot of people that I need to do it. Heck, even Ludo is telling me I have to.
haha
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We wonder why black and white photo's capture our soul. I think it's cause without color, we aren't drawn to the makeup, and the color of our eyes, or how tan our skin is. Black and white captures the innocence on one's face and the hurt they've gone through to feel vulnerable. The glow we see comes from inside, brightening our eyes, our skin, and our smile.
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I’m sifting through thoughts that I have
And nothing’s making sense
Ludo @ Pointfest - TRASH
..
.. ..
Thinking of you, wherever you are.
We pray for our sorrows to end,
and hope that our hearts will blend.
Now I will step forward to realize this wish.
And who knows:
starting a new journey may not be so hard
or maybe it has already begun.
There are many worlds,
but they share the same sky-
one sky, one destiny.
-Kindom Hearts 2
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