nicole - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I may actually hate everything.
But I also love everything.
I'm complicated, but also simple.
I'm a little bit country and a lot of bits rock & roll.
I'm a tiny bag of awesome.
I'm the coolest kid inthe room.
Sometimes I leave the oven on.
Once, in San Diego, I hit 3 balls in at once playing pool while drunk off one Coors Light.
I am 10 feet tall and bullet proof.
I believe that Tennyson is full of it.
I don't believe in coincidences.
I always wave at boys in Camaros.
I am a woman of the cloth.
I am a suburban legend.
I can't prove it, but I'm pretty sure I'm the only Hell my momma ever raised.
I put Texas Pete on pretty much everything.
I am constantly in search of rainbow stitching.
I am a collector of diamond rings.
I am an unfortunate individual with no concept of time.
A tiger behind the wheel I am.
I'm a militant feminist.
Jon Bon Jovi was my first love, and a little part of my heart will always be his.
I am a sharp young lady and the light of the office.
I have a bad ass crossover dribble and my layups are in perfect form.
I've been called a shiftless layabout.
My favorite word is superflous.
I have a set of Rosie the Riveter potholders. It's some kind of metaphorical oxymoron.
I believe that Thin Lizzy is supremely underrated.
I ooze sass.
I'll stomp a mud hole in your momma.
I wish you would stop stalking me already.
I love to drive in my bare feet.

My Interests

coffee
pens and other office supplies
the South
mixed metaphor
PKD
empty in-boxes
I love a sad ending
songs that actually end instead of just fading out
unemployment
serenity
things that are found
things that are lost
a soft place to land
ellipses
card tricks
pez
double (triple) entandre
trivia
New Jersey
phalluses
people who divorce and remarry the same person
Stonehenge
bad tattoos
the Loch Ness Monster
craps (give me an 8 the hard way any day)
board games
"Love Is" comics
allusion
Aloha
Polaroids
bras
melted cheese...

I'd like to meet:

A golden god...with fire in his belly, Led Zeppelin in his soul, Lynyrd Skynyrd in his heart, salt water in his veins, and ya'll in his vocabulary.

(it's abbie hoffman)

Music:

mostly i love that squeaky sound a guitar makes when you change chords.

Movies:

Chasing Amy (& the rest of the Jersey Trilogy, although I guess it's more than that now)
Office Space
Elizabethtown
Harold & Maude
Empire Records
Detroit Rock City (every trip to a KISS concert goes this way)
Dead Poet's Society
Gladiator
Braveheart
Fight Club
Almost Famous
Pretty in Pink
It's a Wonderful Life (really it is)
Sleeping Beauty
Robin Hood (the Disney one with the foxes and oodalaly)
A Bronx Tale (you only get 3)
I Am Sam(as a parent, sometimes you feel retarded)
Godfather
Dogma
Pulp Fiction
The Last Unicorn
Bull Durham
Star Wars
Show Girls (especially on VH1)
Last Temptation of Christ
I love movies great and small. I used to do movie reviews for this website, until I basically got canned because they found it cheaper to crank them out industrial style out of a national office in Chi-Town...

Television:

i'm not gonna pretend i don't love tv.

Books:

we read to know we're not alone.

Heroes:

Dolly Pardon - She is unapolagetically who she is. She's short, has huge knockers, and is loved by drag queens near and far. She had a goal to do something good for her hometown when she finally had money, so she bought an amusement park we now know as Dollywood that made her hometown a tourist attraction and created jobs for her neighbors and family. She almost missed her wedding because her mother forgot her snuff and they had to go back to get it. She's great.

Loretta Lynn - If she hadn't been a woman, perhaps people would have paid attention to "The Pill".

My Blog

where the hell is my remote control you son of a bitch?!

When I was a kid, my mom drilled a hole in the back of the remote and ran a string through it and tied it to the wall behind the couch. It's true. Just ask my sister. Plus, my mom is nuts....
Posted by nicool breeze on Tue, 27 Mar 2007 03:39:00 PST

i think i'm gonna pull through

I've been sick. Dying acutally. Since the wee hours of Thursday morning. It's been miserable. But I've fought back from both the icy hands of Death and the fiery hands of Satan...
Posted by nicool breeze on Sun, 11 Mar 2007 03:55:00 PST

roast suckling baby (a recipe not for the faint of heart)

1 (15 pound or about 2 months old) suckling babyKosher salt and cracked black pepper1/2 cup chopped garlic1/2 cup finely chopped parsley1/4 cup chopped fresh thymeSalt and fine black pepper3 bay leave...
Posted by nicool breeze on Tue, 06 Mar 2007 04:56:00 PST

the only good rat is a dead rat

Baltimore is infested with rats. It's gross and scary and captivating at the same time. A friend of mine recently moved to Greek Town and I helped him paint. I saw a rat sitting at a...
Posted by nicool breeze on Sun, 04 Mar 2007 09:54:00 PST

i've made a huge mistake

I don't wear a lot of the make up. I just never got into it and therefore never mastered the intricacies of eyeliner. I love it. I'm fascinated with people who can do it. I jus...
Posted by nicool breeze on Thu, 01 Mar 2007 07:40:00 PST

contains no chicken poop

I am a woman of many vices. One of those is lip balm. I can't go into a drug store without checking out the balm. I love it. It's a sickness. I need to have balm of some ...
Posted by nicool breeze on Sun, 18 Feb 2007 11:52:00 PST

you are by far my favorite

After having it sit on my dresser in a Netflix envelope for about 9 days, I've finally watched Running with Scissors. I attempted to read the book on a plane once, but when I realized that I'd ...
Posted by nicool breeze on Fri, 16 Feb 2007 08:18:00 PST

most brilliant marketing ploy ever

So...about the Aquateen Hunger Force. Brilliant. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16931200/ This is how the meeting went down in the Adult Swim corporate offices... So guys, what do you say with come...
Posted by nicool breeze on Fri, 02 Feb 2007 07:59:00 PST

Everything you ever wanted to know about me but were afraid to ask

1. &nbs p; Last song you downloaded?Ben Kweller. 2 at once "Sundress" and "I Need You Back". M...
Posted by nicool breeze on Fri, 02 Feb 2007 06:53:00 PST

bad poetry? oh noetry! (a multi-media blog)

So back in the day, a friend of mine got his tongue pierced. And it hurt. And he whined about it. And another friend of mine was like, "Seriously, embrace it. It will only last...
Posted by nicool breeze on Thu, 01 Feb 2007 06:38:00 PST