Lies and secrets are the tools of the weak and the vicious.
You may remember me from such waythefuck off nowherenear broadway plays such as "I Told You That Bitch was Crazy" and "Mamma I Want to Sing Again" (both still playing at the Beacon Theater). You may also remember him from hit Lifetime made for TV movies such as "Flowers in the Basement 2" and feature films such as "Three Fridays From Next Week" (co-starring with Vernon Murphy) and "Return of The Dragon 2: The Shogun is Back".
But who is he? Who is the man behind timeless characters such as Jazzman Sambo, the tap dancing midget with an eye made of glass and a heart made of gold. And his lesser known roles such as Cotton Cleomantra, the cripple pimp from Harlem that changed the ghetto.
It is little known that before discovering his calling as a thespian, he dabbled in many many professions. In fact, were it not for his on stage talent, Tarik would have been the first black man to pilot the space shuttle. He also created the addidas stripes, poineered the very first roller derby league, and coined the term "high five".
Tarik was born in Brooklyn on a warm summer evening. It is not clear exactly how old he is, but he is believed to have been born sometime in the late 20th century. But it was clear from the moment he was born, armed with a full grown afro and a million dollar smile, Tarik was a star. He showed his talents early becomming an accomplished synchronized swimmer by the age of 6. He was on the road 8 months out of the year, touring with the Steve Zissou Aqua Team. He was forced off of the tour by a freak accident involving a shovel, french toast, and orange marmalade.
He returned home to New York and attended Uniondale High school, where he lived a suprisingly normal life, starting his own jazz quartet "Critically Damped". After graduating superduper magna cum laude plus from MIT, with six degrees, one of which in Dueteronomy, Tarik joined the circus as the Amazing Human Cannon Ball. Using his rocket science skills, Tarik revolutionized the human projectile industry, paving the way for modern trampolines as we know them today. After leaving the circus, Tarik decided to follow his musical roots. For a short time, he was the 6th Heartbeat, and the brains behind the operation before a fight with Robert Townsend and that crack head looking bastard broke the group up. They later reunited and went on to become the 5 Heartbeats, there is still a law suit pending.
Tarik's first major film role was an extra in Howard the Duck Part II: Flying South. Though he did not have a line in the movie, he captured the hearts of audiences all over southern Papa New Guinea, catapulting him into instant international stardom. After serving as Mr. T's stunt double in Rocky and the A Team, he has not looked back since. The rest is really history.
