Another Average Ninja - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I could watch this video over and over. I love this song!
I like to imagine Christopher Walken narrating my life.
It amuses me.
"Everytime I smile, a unicorn gets punched in the face."
I think...therefore, I'm single.
I want to write a mission statement, however, my mission is still unclear to me at this time.
I'm adventurous. I bruise easily. I am not economically viable.
I was orphaned at birth. (that's a lie, but the truth is far worse)
I have two children that are the world to me, without them my life would be pointless.
Not a fan of lazy folks, mouth breathers, mumblers, or any form of body odor... the smell of unwashed hair, It makes me want to puke.
People smell. Shower.
The idea that the universe is a black mass composed of nothing more than fear, loathing and bactieria keeps me on edge.
I might kill you over the last Little Debbie Dessert Cake. I'd be polite aboot it though, because, good manners are important to me. Crass is so last year.
I want everyone to be happy, really, I do. I dream aboot that. What a happy world it could be if we all could be happy.
That being said, I am a dreamer, not an idiot, I am completely uninterested in nurturing the chronically unhappy.
I love animals, mostly dogs. If you don't like dogs, the chances are, you're an asshole. That's my opinion, loosely based on more of my unofficial research on the subject.
"Rose is as skittish as a cat with post traumatic stress disorder in the middle of a lawn covered with running sprinklers."
Someone wrote the above statement about me. I think it's fairly accurate.
I don't suffer fools.
Which leaves a question: Who, in the history of the world, ever did suffer fools gladly? Well, Shakespeare did, obviously. Since he gave them so many roles, he must have liked having them around. Others, less great, may enjoy fools as part of the human comedy, perhaps bearing in mind that all of us are fools sometimes, some of us fools often.
I live in hope of reading someday an obituary that says: "She was wise and talented, greatly accomplished, and much admired, above all for her ability to suffer fools gladly."
Yeah.
What? Are we raising cavemen here?
"totally not cool, Rose"

My Interests

Art, music, plants, flowers, animals, history, human nature, the stars, large bodies of fresh water, the pacific ocean, clean warm sand, good shoes, good wine, and of course, real love, ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love.
I like good things and good people.

I'd like to meet:

Stewie Griffin.

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Another Average Ninja's Enemy Space
Another Average Ninja has 1 enemy.
George W. Bush

Music:

How about a juxtoposition of coffeehouse alterna-rock with gansta lyrics.

Movies:

"I find the whole mythology surrounding superheroes fascinating. Take my favorite superhero, Superman. Not a great comic book. Not particularly well-drawn. But the mythology... The mythology is not only great, it's unique.
Now, a staple of the superhero mythology is, there's the superhero and there's the alter ego. Batman is actually Bruce Wayne, Spider-Man is actually Peter Parker. When that character wakes up in the morning, he's Peter Parker. He has to put on a costume to become Spider-Man. And it is in that characteristic Superman stands alone. Superman didn't become Superman. Superman was born Superman. When Superman wakes up in the morning, he's Superman. His alter ego is Clark Kent. His outfit with the big red "S", that's the blanket he was wrapped in as a baby when the Kents found him. Those are his clothes. What Kent wears - the glasses, the business suit - that's the costume. That's the costume Superman wears to blend in with us. Clark Kent is how Superman views us. And what are the characteristics of Clark Kent. He's weak... he's unsure of himself... he's a coward. Clark Kent is Superman's critique on the whole human race. Sorta like Beatrix Kiddo and Mrs. Tommy Plimpton"
"Aso. The point Emerges"
"You would've worn the costume of Arlene Plimpton. But you were born Beatrix Kiddo. And every morning when you woke up, you'd still be Beatrix Kiddo. Oh, you can take the needle out."
"Are you calling me a superhero?"
"I'm calling you a killer. A natural born killer. You always have been, and you always will be.
Moving to El Paso, working in a used record store, goin' to the movies with Tommy, clipping coupons. That's you, trying to disguise yourself as a worker bee That's you tryin' to blend in with the hive. But you're not a worker bee. You're a renegade killer bee. And no matter how much beer you drank or barbecue you ate or how fat your ass got, nothing in the world would ever change that."

Television:

I should be on TV. If I were, I'd be funny. I'd even be willing to stop eating, so I could totally fit in with the rest of the women on TV.
I love Stewie Griffin. He might be my soul mate.
"yes-yes yes, everything was going swimmingly for you until this. Yes, yes, THIS is the thing that will ruin your reputation, not your years of grotesque appearance, or your awkward social graces, or that Felix Ungerish way you clear your sinuses, no no no, it's THIS. Do you hear yourself talk? I might kill you tonight."
Curb Your Enthusiasm, Weeds, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, My Name Is Earl, The Office, The Family Guy, HGTV, Seinfeld reruns, SNL reruns, Sex and The City reruns.
My cable TV privileges have been revoked due to my desire to keep the monthly $69.99.
Anyhoo, I listed the shows I used to watch.
I like funny people. I could watch stand up comedy all day. If I could afford cable TV and didn't have to go to work everyday, and if there were enough funny people on TV.

Books:

Oh, reading, yeah, I should be doing that more. Please, recommend a book. Not too many pages.

Heroes:

Ceasar Milan.