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Ąмуαzing

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

I rock. I also roll on occasion. I frequently adhere to the notion "NO PAIN, NO GAIN." This involves trying to make my body bend in sadistic ways and beating the shit out of heavy bags while sweating copiously. I expect more, and yet I rarely judge. Blind faith combined with righteousness makes me homicidal. People who mistakenly think they are always right make me homicidal. You know who you are. If it's "too loud", you bore me (and you might be too old). I want to meet EVERYONE, and then I want to be left alone with my music, books, or video games. Sometimes all three. I prefer email to phone calls, with a few rare exceptions. I despise DROP INS, unless you are giving me a large sum of money. ITHINKIcanITHINKIcanITHINKIcan. Wait, I KNOW I can. I graduated summa cum laude from the University Of Hard Knocks class of 2006. Continuing education is a given, but I look forward to a few years off first.
My fondest wish is to laugh myself into a massive stroke, dying instantly. I am the succubus that haunts your dreams in your golden years. I am the one that got away. I am a myth, a mirage, and cold hard reality. You will never know what I am thinking. Count yourself lucky, because much like the sight of Medusa the innermost workings of my mind would turn you to stone and send you to meet your maker. I am endlessly unfinished and yet fabulous just the way I am. So are you, if you really think about it. Unless you happen to be an axe murderer, in which case YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN, MAN.
K U N G ~ F U ~ F T W
DEATH SANTA COMES FOR YOU IN THE NIGHT.
WHEN TRILOBITES ATTACK.
Thank God it's over.
CURRAHEE.
RIP George Carlin. May you be in heaven an hour before the devil knows you're dead!

I have a fever, and the only prescription is MORE COWBELL.
Okay, I believe you, but Jesse's Tommy gun don't.
Death cannot stop true love, only delay it for a while.
"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd; --Alexander Pope
Your Famous Last Words Will Be:
"I can pass this guy."

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems....
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My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Vincent Van Gogh. Danny Kaye. Chris Evans. Ghandi. Buddha. Steve McQueen.

My Blog

I could die right now, Clem.

Those moments are rare. That window in time where you are so happy, you feel like your heart could just burst. Satisfaction overload. All is right with the world, the moon is in the 7th house and Jupi...
Posted by on Fri, 12 Jun 2009 07:27:00 GMT

Morse Code For Once in a Lifetime

Buried under rubble from the demolitionlovers breathe the heady perfume of burnt insulation and frayed wiresthe artifacts of memory and imaginationcall me Indiana as I gently brush the dirtloose from ...
Posted by on Wed, 20 May 2009 08:54:00 GMT

Amy Knows Crazy

If you're old enough (a.k.a. ancient like yours truly) you might remember a Royals player named Bo Jackson, and the subsequent "Bo Knows" commercials.  If not, there's a Wikipedia entry for that, just...
Posted by on Mon, 11 May 2009 18:55:00 GMT

Possibly the worst thing ever

I read a horrifying article today about a 22 yo mother and 24 yo father who left their 5mo baby boy in a carseat for a week, in St. Louie, IL.Apparently his dirty diaper began to decay the skin on his...
Posted by on Fri, 01 May 2009 20:45:00 GMT

Johnny Fucking Castle

I watched Point Break tonight, for the first time in YEARS.  This movie came out around 1992, so the primary reason I was interested in it at that time of adolescence was masturbatory fodder.  I mean ...
Posted by on Wed, 29 Apr 2009 20:05:00 GMT

Serious Business

My daughter is at a sleepover tonight, so Jakey and I have some one-on-one time.   We play Pac-Man, Dig-Dug, Galaxia, and assorted other arcade classics, before retiring to my room to watch a movie to...
Posted by on Sat, 25 Apr 2009 19:20:00 GMT

Apropos Of Nothing

Him: "I want to be with you until we are old and crusty."Me: "Crusty.  Crusty is the ultimate in romance." (laughs)Him: (laughs) "I love you."Me: "I love you too."Him: "Will you marry me?"Me: "You had...
Posted by on Sat, 18 Apr 2009 21:14:00 GMT

Don'tchoo call ME crazy!

Everyone knows the quintessential "Cat Lady".  The woman who has entire conversations with her multifarious felines, prefers them to the company of humans, is apparently numb from the sinuses down bec...
Posted by on Thu, 16 Apr 2009 18:55:00 GMT

They see me rollin', they hatin'

 This man is better than you.  Do you know why?  Good lord, where do I begin?A. I can wake him up by singing the dread "Hey There, Delilah" without getting murdered.  As long as I keep it short, and d...
Posted by on Tue, 14 Apr 2009 11:07:00 GMT

A Debilitating Sense of Relief

Sometimes you feel it.  It's when stuff just seems to be going your way.  I feel like I'm tempting fate:1. A good job that I actually like.2. More than my honest share of love.  I truly have it made. ...
Posted by on Mon, 06 Apr 2009 18:35:00 GMT