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OUR HELPLESS LITTLE MINI ME'S... Much as I love my daughters there have been times, That I've had more than I can take of them, told them to get out of my life.. When I had my first baby she cried day & night, I thought what have I done maybe my mother was right. She kept wanting my breast my hormones were up & down, She only shut up while she sucked my milk flowed like a cows.. Advice was that I didn't have enough milk, or it wasn't strong enough, To put her on the bottle, but feeding her myself made me feel such love. We tried a couple just to see if it made her sleep, Then she started vomiting badly we admitted defeat.. We took her to the doctor, He also felt there was something wrong with her. We took his letter to accident & emergency, She was admitted immediately.. Our 8lb baby looked so big, In the Special baby care unit. Three days they kept her in, They gave me a room to sleep in.. I felt so blessed seeing those tiny babies barely alive, Made me feel so grateful there was nothing serious wrong with mine.. She was vomiting because she was getting too much, She had thrush in her mouth & throat so she wanted to suck. They can pick it up in hospital or if bottles are not washed properly, Well I washed my boobies & put cream on my nipples regularly.. Treatment was some medicine & a dummy, And reassurance that I was a good mummy. Doctors & nurses said my milk was rich & defiantly plenty of it, So stuff your bottles & your formula I breast fed until I wanted to stop it.. Then she was happy, then she was colicky, then happy, then teething, Then just grizzled because she was tired some times they have you seething.. Then she was my little angel and she mothered her baby sister, Every time she was near enough I just had to kiss her.. Then when she was 15 I lost control, Both of our personality's switch like remote control. People said I was too soft but I don't regret it to this day, I taught her the lessons in my own way.. All you are teaching them when you knock them about, Is when you are angry thats what we do strike out.. Our arguments got physical she'd been taught how to fight, I had to stand up to her & let her know that it was not right. There were occasions where I had to hold her down, She was loosing it smashing things throwing her weight around.. She learnt it from those who got hit for everything, Its there in our faces look at the damage violence is doing.. You cant beat a toddler to stop them crying, Or give kids a good hiding because they're lying.. If they're being spiteful then they should feel how the other felt, But a controlled lesson how cruel is it to use the buckle of a belt. Thats not discipline thats some getting their own temper out, And if I saw it I would call social services without a doubt.. What some don't realize is it is dangerous thats why its an assault, And imagine how easy it is to kill a baby it's easy enough to kill a adult. Think properly about whats good for them, Be in control when you decide on your punishment..
DONT LET YOURSELF BE A BATTERED WIFE, BE YOURSELF, BE FREE, & ENJOY YOUR LIFE..... Don't degrade yourself by being anyones punch bag, You'll end up disturbed yourself & looking like a sad battered hag.. There are people who like the opposite sex obsessing, Deliberately causing jealousy they call it keeping them guessing.. Why would you want the person you love to feel bad, (I mean the true meaning of the word) I started going DOWN that road but pulled myself back.. One daughter & a best friend each had two women beaters come into their life, But were strong enough to move on before they got chance to take their life. Another friend had a boy try that before killing himself, To kill yourself over one person is sad if you don't fit go find someone else.. On Eastenders we saw Little Mo being pathetic, Happening at the same time as my girls she saw how her head was affected. One day as she was about to go, I shouted after her be careful little mo. Watching those episodes helped me get her back home. She came back home that very night, Before they got into a fight.. It is stupid to go back for another beating, While you stay away they need to go to anger management meetings.. They cant have good friends so much pointless attention seeking, Insecure males & females its counciling they should be seeking.. Until they learn to control themselves, They are no good to you or anyone else.. If you love them then you would ensure that they got help, All the while they get away with it you are bringing it on yourself.. Their minds need clearing of bad experiences from the past, Until they do this they are going Down taking You with them fast. Aggression in a relationship means for each other you are wrong, To admit its not right & walk away you have to be strong.. We can die from one punch or fall & end up a vegetable if we burst a vessel in our head, Help bullies to do the right thing & put their demons to rest. So we are all safe & they can be free to live a calm life instead, Alternative they end up in prison when they loose it & someone ends up dead.. If you know someone help them to get the help, They are a danger to themselves as well as to everyone else. If they wont let those close in, Escort them to counciling.. If they refuse to get help stay away they'll continue to be unkind, With all the nasty shit from their past trapped in their mind. Don't let them ruin & scar you protect your body & mind, They'll make you miserable could kill you you are wasting your time.. We cant go back to right all the wrongs, But we can start again at any point & say “from this day on”...
CLOUD PORNO LAND.... Those men who live in cloud porno land, Get use to rapidly using their own hand. They loose sensitivity w***king10 times a day, And its hard work if with them you decide to play.. They only do whats good for them, About a live female body they don't understand.. You have to rotate your hips & guide them to your clit, “Ow you like that baby I thought that was just for taking a p***”. “Yes it feels nice if you stroke there gently, Keep on until I'm delirious no drugs necessary”.. You know girls, those who cant be bothered to work on your mind nicely, You have to go down on him for hour's, but he's not going down on you, He is the high & mighty.. They think that us women love to be choked, As they keep ramming their penis down the back of our throat. They don't know about or don't want to use their lounge or hand, They don't have time or patients for pleasing the woman.. Too arrogant & high & mighty to study us not part of their plan, With them you'll only ever get a wam bam thank you mame. Thats why so often they d.I.y & are a one man band, More about real people they need to understand.. I want to look after my family dance mix write & have conversations, There's not time to be anyones constant source of sexual stimulation. He'll have to go back to using his imagination, I hope they'll be very happy with their poro's & masturbation.. What he doesn't realize is if he makes her feel nice he'll get so much more, Carry on the way your going & she'll be out the door.. But there have been those who made the effort to create a good atmosphere, Then I like them being direct & making their intentions clear.. Thats when you can release seduce & really flirt, When you know you're going to feel nice wont get wound up or hurt.. Women do think differently to a man, There's only so much of cloud porno land a girl can stand..
PUTTING MY MIND RIGHT AGAIN.... At this time in my life I no what “I” want to do, Its not to skivvy or pamper to the rich, they'll have to find another masseuse & clean their own loo. And all those hours over eight years nursing the sick & dying, No more falling asleep standing, not only do I get 8hrs now I can have a lay-in. I'd be letting somebody down if I became sick, Now I sign myself off instead of doing myself in, & concentrate on recovering quick.. I'm going to sell the qualities in me that I want to sell, Some think they can blag my body mind & soul & I'll pay for everything as well, But now I'm not stupid I know my worth I know what I want to sell.. Good music good moods comfort understanding taking down the barriers, Dj's are trying & anyone who wants to share their stories could be hope carriers. Listening to the music properly will free minds to listen to another opinion, There are many carrying resentment & hate because the right person has not listen to them.. The only way to stop the bad things from happening, Is to show hope to the lost because with their own heads they are battling. To know someone cares to have a sense of belonging, Just guidance to build a good life is what some are wanting.. I don't chat shit its all practical advice, I want to do my best so as many as possible avoid the cons tricks & strife. I was unaware in my village working safe being a wife, But from the time I became a single mother I became aware of people & their strife.. I decided to learn about our body & mind we are fantastic creations, We are intelligent can self heal & some are that clever they can perform operations.. I was taught with illness prevention is better than the cure, This applies to our minds keeping it healthy is best for sure. Stress makes us deal angrily over reacting exploding when we've had enough, Problems one after the other jump on your back until you feel ill & look rough.. If it had been down to my mother I'd be a nasty spiteful bitch, And to others I could have been professional if I'd decided to stitch. But there were other influences that kept bringing me back, Putting different thoughts in my head when I wanted to attack. Once again prevention always have a tight contract, Even then you'll get idiots who think they can mess with that.. The nicest I've known my Mother, I was married had a baby & she was living with a partner, It really did look as if it was going to be happily ever after. Then he fell ill had a cancerous lump on his penis, Doctors removed it but the cancer had spread the treatment was useless.. I liked him, took him for his treatments was there right until the end, I thought why is this happening, it should have happened to that pervert Ben.. Then her keeping her home was a big legal wrangle, They didn't marry so the wife for one week was the one entitled. She needed us all then without a doubt, But why stir & be spiteful always had to be a favorite with someone picked on or left out.. Every time we felt bad we'd stayed away, A couple of years I worked for her it was ok. But I couldn't be with her & make curtains day after day, I found new friends & other kids so my daughters could play.. Mother doesn't like anyone and can give twisted advice, She disliked my now ex-best friend but there were motives so I had to think twice. They met at kids birthday party's Mother has a look that can slice, When I think about it now, they were two of a kind neither were very nice.. When I was left on my own with two kids penniless & heart broken, Mother Brother his wife & Gran sat three miles from me only nasty words spoken. There was always something so we wiggled out of commitments visited less often, We'd seen & heard enough and decided we have to stay away from them.. The one she warned me of was a free loader wouldn't do it for herself, When she couldn't screw some poor man she tried with anyone else. She couldn't see that how she was only attracts the wrong kind of man, She used me without me knowing to help pull & wondered why it didn't go to plan.. She was the third that I'd met who decided she was bi, Like the two before if she could get a nice one liked a guy. I started feeling the pressure I could read her plan, Bailiffs knocking, adding to her club bill as she borrowed it got to half a grand, Lazyitus caused her real back problems after the doctor she'd scammed.. She got stoned day & night while I was at work, Even if I fancied her it would not have worked. Her & her kids did wine & winge, And the thought of her touching me made me cringe.. We went out with my best mate from school, She said my mate was a man magnet beautiful. It was my mates mans birthday she didn't know what to do for him, The wanna be dike offered a full lesbian three some, with my mate she was trying to get right in.. It was flattering but my mate didn't like things that she said, She laughed about how ugly she was inside & out & told me to get rid.. I wrote off the bill & cut myself loose, Straight away I felt free had removed the noose. It Had got worse year by year, But when they are around you so much you cant think clear. We need someone to listen when we moan & steer us in the right direction, Cut off the people who are bringing us down making us ill like an infection, They cant keep getting away with treating people bad need to change direction.. I want people to trust each other in their own communities, Then come dance & have a release at Safe Sound Sanctuary Party's. I'm told that I live in cloud coco land, But people will become happier the more they understand.. Four years I've had people telling me I cant do this or that, I will not be able to do it, Yet for the past 10 years I've told my girls they can do anything if they put their mind to it. If you're weak & give up you'll be miserable may be left on the shelf, I don't want to be an old lady with a hunch back sitting all by my self, I want visitors to come & chat so I can advise on looking after themselves.. Writing playing music help put together a special tune, My aim is for everyone to be considerate caring & happy in the room. You can call it brain washing or manipulation, But its in everyones best interest once we lay the foundation.. More trust & communication means less tricks can be played, Which will still leave the robbers who for your belongings they will slay. The mindlessly dangerous are sick & need to go away, Until they recover, nicely with us they will not play. I think it will be a while before people stop showing disrespect through playing away.. They need to make each other happy work together through past & pain, When you satisfy each other, feel how the other is feeling, a soul make you have gained.. I want my writing to get to the people who cant afford to buy, If its colorful & entertaining, people are happy leaving, I could pass it out as they pass by. I'm sure once they hear my sets & are happy & can trust, Being the person they want to be is going to be a must.. Some are obsessed with outer beauty & cockiness, If they encouraged inner beauty there would be less deceit & coldness. Anyone of us can tart ourselves up to look drop dead gorgeous, But selfish heartless or violent makes them completely useless, To you & your family they will be a liability to themselves worthless.. So don't let hormones rule your head, do your homework before giving in to cupid, Don t allow yourself to be treated stupid by the stupid.. Feeling for those close looking after your own feelings will lead to happiness, This is what I want to sell this is what I want to encourage....
MAKE YOUR LIFE HOW YOU WANT IT TO BE...... I know how I want to live the rest of my life, And how to avoid anymore grief & strife. I've alternated with good n bad happy & sad, Stress & worry made me work hard of that I'm glad.. Learnt the hard way not to be too kind, Took too much before leaving leaches behind. Took too long to decide what is right or what is wrong, Before I realized weak people don't like it when you are strong.. So many telling us how to think I needed to know my own mind, Then you can relax when few words let them know that you know, & that you're not stupid deaf dumb & blind.. Live & let live, live each day as if it were your last, Keeping my mind free from s*** letting go of the past. Gonna try hard to live by the motto's that I believe, Need to come out of the cocoon, to secure us again I must succeed.. I know who I am who I've been & who I want to be, Just waiting for my girls to say the same so we can all be happy.. I don't like to lie or chat shit con or stitch, I'll try & make things better I am good witch. I wont fight unless I'm attacked, Or stab anybody in the back.. Time out from the general public gave me clear time to think, I have mostly been a good parent taught common sense logic & instinct.. Time to practice what I preach again the right balance of work rest & play. I know how I cant live, & don't want my girls to live, hand to mouth means you're stressed moody & mostly miserable each day.. Companies & People fighting over the same little bit of money, Everyone stitching everyone it really isn't funny. Constantly squeezed by taxes & recession, A lot in our country suffer from stress & depression.. The less you spend the less you need to earn, You can save a lot if you're organized & show the ozone some concern. Many still waste money using loads of petrol gas & electric, I use as little as possible now to lighten my bill & carbon foot print.. My girls we're so extravagant, With always plenty in the bank. The more we had the more they spent, Got more & more demanding they would not relent. Time after time i showed them the bills & the bank balance, Eventually they listened when they pushed my level of tolerance. I had to decide whether to lie or whether to come clean, when they found evidence in my cupboard at 14 & 16. My time & money went on them that they'd seen, & also that so much worse went on up on the Old Dean.. They were in relationships I was not, It was just treated like any other job. I told them how hard it was how your feelings are effected, And how many I had to do to pay the mortgage, rates, car, food ,clothes, telephones, petrol, gas & electric.. I told them I nagged I shouted they still didn't quite understand, I'd spoilt them for 4 years for myself I had to make a stand.. I stopped earning & lived of the profits from the flat, Back to a very tight budget because to escort or nursing I was not going back. Its on everyone else's back now to feed themselves, Because I cant make them happy if I'm not happy myself.. I acted it enough even when I was really down, As from now I've decided when I'm down everyone will know who's around. I've tried calm & composed so as not to cause an atmosphere or a row, Now people are going to know I'm not a robot I have feeling like everyone else.. At the same time mobile phone, gas, & electric companies, & mechanics, were making mistakes, checking the bills is such a bore but they were all at it. They've already got your money & to get it back they make you claw, Makes you wonder how many times before & with how many more?? There's always something to pay, Even if you don't leave the house all day.. But if we stay one step a head, pay attention, think plan & work, We wont go off key & want to kill everyone when we go berserk.. Its up to us to design our life & to make ourselves happy, Work together to make life fair & safe for our children you & me.... ">
THE STREET BOYS JUST WANT GIRLS TO GET ANNOYED.... I'll tell you want you have to deal with, If a street boy you decide to get involved with.. They honestly do things to deliberately wind you up, With their behavior its impossible to show respect or love.. Inside a rave chatting shit they can be charming, Then they'll be wrapped around another girl to make you feel like a nothing. Making you jealous is their way of controlling, And if girls fight over them they find flattering.. If they've got your number they'll call as soon as you've gone, Then they'll tell you about another rave & persuaded you to go on.. You'll think its gonna be different, that maybe he's realized, When he's tried to make you jealous you've turn your back or close your eyes.. But they'll do it again it doesn't sink in, What exactly do they think we're thinking?? “You just continue showing me disrespect, Because no one knows that I'm seeing you yet. Talking to everyone but he didn't see me? yer I bet, Well when I'm saying No later you're the one that will be upset. You were just a bit of practice to make sure I don't loose it, I listened to Claire Raynor years ago when she said” “if you don't use it you'll loose it”.. They'll text or call when you're on you're way home, I've got my family & home to go back to its his fault he's on your own.. I've stopped to get a coffee because they're coming to link me, An hour's time, still no sign, feeding me a line, I'm off they think they'll take the piss out of me.. I've seen them leave silly girls for hours outside, While they're having a great time raving with us inside.. You'll get calls in the middle of the night, I like a mixture of day & night so if I'm awake a chat I like.. You know when they've got a girl that they are living off, Because at certain times they're phone will be switched off. I wanna be able to call when ever I like, And I don't want to get involve in their jealousy & spite.. The funniest is when they say they're on their way, And they're still not here when I wake the next day.. Could be a couple of days before they get here but not for long, They don't wanna do anything mind broadening or fun. They're like a fish out of water in the country side, They see very little sun or day light.. They can only see where I live when I know where they live, I'll collect from Woking station only 15 minutes from our village. They're lost & nervous in the country, Yet people out here are mostly safe & friendly.. SAD syndrome is a recognized condition, But do you think you can get them to listen.. My advice is don't waste time or petrol, Letting the street boys send you mental..
A SHORT AFFAIR..... I could not watch what was happening with my daughter, Once again she was ignoring my advice & all that I taught her. Staying away is the only way to get through to her, She doesnt lke it when im ignoring or not around for her.. So not being there is what I do when she's not listening, I say “I don't want to hear anymore” & I go missing.. I wanted to concentrate on myself & stop wasting my time, Raving wasn't good either my body was not fit didn't have a healthy mind.. Going out trying to find a release from family problems, Its so disappointing when the rave is sh** or doesn't happen. Next day I have to do a work out in my bedroom, Imagining how it could be if someone could train them.. To work hard I decided to be celibate it was also a good blag, Most men don't hang around once you've told them that. Then I got chatted up & gave him my number, When he called I regretted it I couldn't be bothered. I told him I was busy & celibate but we chatted so easily, Then he told to put it on hold because I am neglecting me. I needed comfort from the psychological abuse, From the scene & right under my own roof... Mature attitude the right words at the right time, If it didn't work out hopefully he'll be a friend of mine.. Tall, dark, clever, street wise, & handsome, Brave with advances his lust held me to ransom. Had a no bullshit policy if we're to know whats happening in each other lives, He believed the same as me holding back is as insulting as telling lies.. He loves Music he helped me to chill, But for most of the first month I was seeing him I was ill. We had E in it's strongest form then a virus got me, Couldn't shake it off I also had stress & uncertainty. Stayed with him 4 days then 3 days then 1 or 2, Only a few days in the middle to get done all that I needed to do. It's not enough when his business plans are not the same as mine, What he wants to do now reminds me of what I left behind.. He is early thirty's & has a strong sex drive, I got dehydrated, was exhausted, felt barely alive.. Thinking about sex to much cancels everything else out, I joked about it & spoke about it had moody words then started to shout. Mind set on what they want every which way they're trying, Playing it down defending my body, not enough what I was offering.. When it feels like hard work its time to step back, My mind was not feeling right & I cant go back to that.. Time to face reality, I will not be happy the way that he wants me to be.....
IF IT'S NOT RIGHT IT'S NOT RIGHT..... My relationships are getting shorter instead of longer, But there is more to consider as we grow older. If there's someone worth getting to know I have been trying harder, But leaving me to stew for a week just makes me grow stronger.. Some find it stimulating to have more than one sexual partner, But I find it distressing so for my own piece of mind it's best it's all over.. In my mind when they're thinking about others sexually, And have not got time to text to show they're thinking of me, I have to re think & get rid of the negative energy, Before jealousy consumes & takes over me.. So here I am again Monday morning waking up alone, don't even feel like I can talk to him on the phone. But if its not right I've got to move on redirect my energy, Until I find that special person that i want to keep happy.. "> .. NOW, I WONT LET IT HAPPEN TO ME.... Once I feel its not right I have to be free. My relationships are getting shorter instead of longer, But there is more to consider as we grow older.. If there's someone worth getting to know I have been trying harder, But leaving me to stew for a week just makes me grow stronger.. Some find it stimulating to have more than one sexual partner, But I find it distressing so as soon as I feel insecure it's best it's all over.. In my mind when they're thinking about others sexually, And cant find time to text to show they're thinking of me, I have to re think & get rid of the negative energy, Before jealousy consumes & takes over me.. I will not allow myself to fall in love, Until I'm sure we fit light a clove.. Know when to let go.... Whats the point in trying to keep them if they wanna be somewhere else, Don't settle for 'its alright' free yourself & try again with someone else. If you cant make them completely happy its best that you know, Don't wait until it turns sour as soon as you know let go.. If they're not getting what they want they will become a creeper. If you know that his or her feelings need to be deeper, Bring it back to a friendship as soon as your know, leave no bitterness, or cause anger or distress, have friends everywhere you go....
FINDING SOMEONE TO DANCE WITH..... I've danced up close with many men all over & on the rave scene, Some were fun they showed respect & kept it clean.. Then everywhere you get those who over step the line, “Yes remove your hands from there this is mine”.. Some are so fidgety where they're in such a hurry, I try to explain I'm just a country girl from surrey.. No need to act like my dog when he use to shag his fluffy bear, All a girl wants to know is that he's attracted to her & he'll be sincere. The body language working together, is so much better, Than her pulling away tense & defensive, telling him stuff he doesn't want to hear.. Or a gorgeous man smile's seductively then turns his back, Then you realize it's because his girl friend has come back. Some will be all over a girl then follow you to the loo, “No thank you I don't want a line of charlie in the cubicle with you”.. Some come over to dance this game I wanna play, Then he Stops wants my number then I want him to go away.. “What am I doing after? I'm not finished here yet”, He doesn't want to dance with me I know how his mind is set.. Why cant they just shut up & dance, Instead of trying to get in there fast. Seduction to music is just the best, Get it right boys & you are guaranteed the rest.. Some say “I'm to old for this I'd rather go out for dinner”, Done lots of that don't want to get fatter I want to be slimmer.. Turnmills & Pacha places like that, Many thought they had the right to rub themselves off on my back. One I caught twice actually had it out in his hand, Couldn't see but as I danced I caught it with my hand.. I'm laughing inside once their manners have blown it for me, Trying to get a grope of your bum at every opportunity. They get in your face being long sighted I can hardly see, I'll smile to keep it sweet then excuse myself & get away politely.. You do have to protect yourself because many will take advantage, Be stern rather than rude don't give them cause to get savage.. But it does make me laugh how they simulate my dog before he was castrated, As they tell you about how they thought of you in the loo as they mastabated. Come on boys, it really is no wonder that you put some girls off, Now she's wondering if you washed the hand thats on her shoulder, before you left the bog.. They cant understand he's a stud but I don't want to go home with him, Sometimes its best to use little white lies instead of wounding their ego explaining. “My boyfriends stays in playing computer games” or “he's on duty he's a doctor”, Told some I was celibate when I wasn't, they move straight on to the next girl on the dance floor.. I wont do anything stupid to jeopardize my family or my ravin, Make sure no one thinks they can obsess or start mis behaving.. One of the most important things that I learnt was that male & female don't think the same, But you can learn how the other thinks its all part of the game..Reassurance encouragement security, Should all just happen naturally...
THEN IF YOU GET TO THE NEXT STAGE, IT'S ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU RAGE..... There are a lot of men who only do whats good for them, Don't know or don't care about pleasing the woman. You can hint discuss it properly or you can guide, But their mind is fixed on the porno film they watched last night.. Keeping on & on even when you've said you're sore, Use to lay there & take it but I'm not getting paid for that anymore.. Then they wonder why you don't want to see them anymore, “You don't wanna please me then you're not the man I want to adore”... Yes I know how men feel about the condom, But they are or want you to think they're playing the field so best he puts one on.. All of the wasted effort they put in, And more & more drugs they are giving. If only that energy was redirected, They use techniques where the girl is nicely effected.. But head f*** in their minds plays a big part, This is when you know its time to depart....
FAITHFUL..... I look it up in the dictionary means (1) attached, constant, dependable,devoted, loyal, reliable, staunch, steadfast, truthful,(2) accurate, exact, strict, true... The next word in the dictionary is FAITHLESS which means disloyal, doubting, perfidious, treacherous, unbelievable unreliable, untrustworthy, untruthful...... Ive only tried the first my conscience wont allow the second, I've always been faithful which is more than I can say for my husband... He had a lunch time mistress for four years before I found out, He was able to come home & act normal it was her who brought it all out... To betray the trust is so damaging, You have to work so hard to get it back again. Wondering every time they go out, Or if their mood changes it arouses doubt... Are they going where they say when they say good bye, Always wondering if what they are telling you is a lie. The only way you'll know for sure is to spy, Once its confirmed I have to say good bye... Ive seen more than one person at a time, Just casual which suited me at the time. I realise after a while that they were married, To leave their family I would not encourage... I was learning from them a mans point of view, Wives not sexually stimulated with their sexual erges they didn't know what to do... My conversations gave them a womans point of view, So to keep their wife happy they new what to do... I always sent them back home, With my children I didn't feel alone. Working I saw just how many, Need more than a wife & family... But if the relationship is good there is no need, It only works if openness & faithfulness is agreed... I use to have a problem with trust, To overcome it reassurance is a must. Because if in my mind there is any doubt, Then I'm sorry but the condoms have to come back out... Suspicions but not quite knowing, Eats away inside jealousy starts growing. Visions work on your imagination, Then you'll give a possessive bitch demonstration, Leading the relationship into devastation... When you think its them but they say its you, A bit detective work you have to do, Other wise you end up a mess in a stew... The one who loves you wont want you to feel insecure, Reassuring words of comfort is the cure... Communication & Trust is the answer, To living together happily ever after....
TRUST..... I liked being somebodies wife, Sharing good & bad times partners in life. Although it was not meant to be, It showed me a close caring loving family... Then followed 15 hard but adventurous years, brought laughter eventually through acceptance after many tears... Now I wanna be some bodies woman, Where trust & sincerity has been proven. Then together all avenues we can explore, When I find someone that I want to adore... Then the rest of our lives we'll enjoy even more, When I'm his lady his best friend his whore. Partnership trust love lust & passion, 69, missionary, against the wall or doggy fashion...
MEETING MR RIGHT... One day soon it will happen again for me, It’s going to be for real this time I’ll do it properly. He probably will be tall dark and handsome, But gone are the days when they could pull me at random.. I think it will be out in a nice club, Music is important if he wants me to feel love. Seduction starts from when our eyes first meet, He’ll have to dance and shake with me without treading on my feet.. His aura like his body is going to be strong, He’ll move a little closer make sure he’s not reading me wrong.. I’ll know if he's gonna do it for me if he’s got it, But there’s much more to consider before I accept we fit.. I’ll be feeling it as he casually checks me, His look will make me feel so sexy.. He’ll make it clear he would love to be in my company, I’ll be hoping and praying he lives up to my expectancy.. He’ll be moving to the music when I check him, We’ll keep eye contact as we dance he’ll know i'm gonna let him in.. He’ll come over to me without hesitation, Make sure he’s not got a violent reputation.. He’ll start by asking if I’d like a drink, While he’s at the bar I’ll ask the girls what they think. We’ll clink then drink put our glasses down, Move together to the music see if we can get down.. He’ll be direct & brave & have his own style, He’ll make me respond then i'll know it’s gonna be worth while.. As we move to a tune he'll put his arms around, We wont care who's watching if we want to laugh out loud... I’ll like feeling his hands on me i'll like his grip, As we dance it will feel like we fit.. I’ll relax as we dance he’ll make me feel so at ease, Our body language will tell each other we're feeling pleased. We’ll bring each other up moving to the music, We’ll play around to the funky sound for him I’ll wanna work it!! As we dance he’ll tell me that he loves my dress, Seduction and sweet talk to music is just the best. I wont get para or question looking for bullshit, I'll eccept his compliments in time I’ll know if he’s legit.. We’ll go to the bar we’ll chat get acquainted, He’ll tell me my hands look pretty with my nails painted. He’ll speak in a tone that makes it easy to listen, I'll play hard to get, but in no time i'll be weakened into submission.. We’ll go back to our friends wont be unsociable and rude, Look back as we walk away imagining each other nude. From across the room for me to dance he'll beckon, To decide it will take me just one second.. The night will be wicked the girls will meet his friends, We’ll dance and play around until the party ends. We’ll go to the after party we’ll chill and chat, His friends and my friends will be up for that.. As people go home he’ll invite me back, He'll joke about kidnapping me “I wont mind that!”. Teasing & subtle seduction all the way back to his place, As soon as we're through the door our first orgasm takes place. It’ll be passionate with little effort together we’ll cum, I doubt very much that we’ll be stopping at one.. He’ll hold me just the way I want to be held, He’ll make me feel like the sexiest lady in the world. If we didn’t quite get there he’ll take me up to his bed, Won’t keep on at me when I’m tired we’ll kiss and fall asleep instead.. We'll wake make breakfast he'll offer to run me a bath, We’ll eat drink and freshen up chat and have a laugh. We’ll rub each others bodies with moisturising cream, Then make love for hours it will be so erotic I'll want to scream.. We’ll cancel commitments to make our first time last longer, As we connect through conversation & lust the feelings get stronger. When the time comes we’ll passionately kiss as we part, What happens over the next week will tell me whether or not to give my heart..
CANIBIS..... Many people like to smoke it is it good or bad? Does it give us the giggles make us happy or sad? I've known plenty who were para & depressed without a spliff, It was all down to their life style or the people they lived with.. A couple of years ago I grew two 7ft plants in my garden, Popped in a couple of seeds there was no stopping them. The leaves were beautiful they aroma was really strong, Provided privacy for sunbathing they were as wide as they were long.. But I grew a male & female side by side, The pollen was all over the leaves I thought it was gonna be nice. Funny sounds a bit true to life you have to get rid of the male, He has droopy balls that hang down & he ruins everything when he pollinates the male... ( sorry guys couldn't resist) I didn't know then you have to sex them & discard, Wicked plants we watched the bees on it wondering if they got stoned made us laugh. The female became less potent because I left them together, Which was just as well my friend was scared they'd be identified by the neighbor.. To think I'm breaking the law buying smoking & growing it, When it really does depend on the person if they get addicted to it. Just like alcohol food power money & sex, Which one needs to be made illegal next.. I know with tobacco its proven my Dad died slowly of lung cancer, But weed has help save me & I've heard the same from others. When I'm angry worried stressed or in mourning it calmed me down, After a spliff I can turn things around.. It helped me through my divorce legal procedures times when I was fraught, Helped me deal with thugs, truants officers, police & courts. At home on the phone if there's a debate I'll be walking around pacing, If I take a spliff in the garden I deal much better & don't look like a mental patient.. I use to get para its all in the mind be aware, Don t let your mind work over time if someone stares. If I get stoned but have things to do a& am feeling slack, A cup of tea & a biscuit or plain will power will bring me back.. My younger brother knew people & would get it for all of us he did 9 months in prison, Such a peaceful honest person, he had plenty of character references, a lot of his people in court, but the judge would not listen. If they are pushing rob assault or kill for drugs then show no mercy, But when its sale on demand of our therapy why cant they just let us be.. If Canibis was legal the money spent chasing it could be used for more free councilors, Its up to us to decide but I do realize a lot are not as strong as others. But someone decent to talk to to straighten things out is what we need to control our vices, Many already trained through experiences & need jobs they could be called life advisor's.. So many don't feel well through the stresses of life, Could really do with a positive point of view some good advice. When healed from the past mind cleared from guilt shame & doubt, Stimulate encourage lessen the need to sedate help lay a life plan out.. Back off with smoking rules & work on lessoning the need, Give funds to help & guide those who want to succeed. Change a lot of bad thinking, Give everyone a councilor who goes to prison.. When life is good I still like a spliff it calms me makes me able to relax, A lot on steroids for arthritis some need sleeping pills or Valium I use weed for that. I get things done around the house calmly & think about things deeply it helps clear my head, But you have to be in control save it for when you get home or before you go to bed.. It can make you weak if you give in but you don't need weed for that, People f*** with your head much more nothing illegal about that. It makes digging in the garden easy cleaning the drains bearable, A little of what you fancy does you good but don't let it get a hold.. Keep your mind strong & your mind happy, I'm hooked on loving & caring for my family. Don't let people weed or anything spoil it, Live your life as you plan it don't give up & become an addict..
OPPOSITES ATTRACT, But we're not as different as all that... I have a deep friend who loves the music & dancing as much as me, She has been dangerous & still has violent tendencies. When she gets upset she does scare me, I'm on edge cant relax & dance properly.. She believes that some people can only be dealt with brutally, I believe no one should get hurt everything can be dealt with peacefully. People think I'm soft because I'm against smacking kids, All you're showing them is when you get angry you do this?? Some times I drift away but have been drawn back to rebuild trust, Some stirring a while back brought tension keeping things nice is a must.. I've felt all along that she'll be involved in my future, I'm really hoping it's in a good way & she'll become a teacher. Raving brought us together with our completely different lives, Who we were who we've been we no longer disguise.. Our different views test our friendship to the limit, Its like she says its the little things, I've seen her protect me without drawing attention to it.. We have built an understanding of each other, When its just the two of us we roll nicely together.. Both trying to think of how we can make it better for our daughters, Trying to suppress our nasty side as we iron out all the Flores.. We live our own lives but confer & share some knowledge, I'm still waiting to here the full story of why she did 3 ½ yrs porridge. We both want to love & trust but are smart & intuitive, Essential out there with what's around to deal with.. I was hoping our confidence would grow taking us where we want to be, But some times when we go out I've caught the end of things that have really scared me. Others are scared too & wont invite me rather than have her friends at their party, I ignored the warning from an ex-friend who says one day she'll switch on me.. She knows my views has read some of my rhymes, It has caused tension a couple of times. But things happen to make us re think, And to a violent boyfriend she had to involve the police.. With our experiences put together, We could ride any weather. Both strong individuals in different areas, Combining our experiences makes us stronger but you cant compare us.. We both crave for a man who is passionate & spontaneous, But where we are now it's either sneaky or they cant chat nicely to us. We need to feel like women instead of a piece of meat, From porn films with f***ing machines these men learn their techniques.. Neither of us can find a decent boyfriend let alone lover or soul mate, Until the right place is created we're not gonna find the people to whom we can relate.. We wont be disappointed or neglected, As soon as we feel angry or jealous its over before we get pathetic. It's so cold & uncaring everyone keeping their options open, Just fueling jealousy & resentment waiting for the inevitable to happen.. Jealousy doesn't just come from the free & easy sex, People will hate you if you have or can do more than them. We all need to be on the same level earning a decent living, Before there is harmony & people start forgiving.. I really want to link people who want to listen & be part of it properly, So they can find that person that they can relate to & really fancy. So they lift each other & sooth each others sanity, Mentally lovingly lustfully sexually passionately.. SCREAM RUN & HIDE..... If there is a situation happening I cant turn my back, And if that annoys some people then I'm sorry about that. But I know the panic & screaming just fires more adrenalin, which will increase the chances of something bad happening.. Plus some don't care who gets crushed in the stampede, So in a situation don't make it worse evacuate calmly & quietly please. You can see those who would walk on you to get themselves out, Just stand & watch & you will suss a lot out.. I prefer to think for a second & watch the weapon, And to see who's involved & asses the situation. Remembering things like stand behind or to the side don't stand in the line of fire, And I like to know who is the victim & who is the murdering liar.. Give no cause no reason but if you see that fury in their face, Get away there is no reasoning with people who don' care about the human race. They don't know enough & are engulfed with fury from their past, They will take it out on you, you will get knifed shot bottled or glassed.. Until they speak it & believed it, everyone around them is in danger because of it. I feel for the victim as well as the attacker, Because they are sick,cant free or control themselves,don't know about things that matter.. The only feeling of importance they feel in their lives, Is when people scream & run & hide.. So to all those who do it then want to gossip & criticize, You look after you your way & I'll look after me mine...
TEENAGE DAUGHTERS.... It’s hard being a mum I know the score, Soon as you’re backs turned the little bitch will be out the door. Doing’ all of the things she knows she's not aloud, Disrespecting when she's with her aggressive crowd.. I had many friends with kids in the towns & the villages, They learnt the difference between nice & jealous bitches. I kept them real close but let them experience it all, We discussed everything they told me when bitches made them miserable at school.. My eldest was a good student I wrote letters asking for her to move sets, Told her how to deal with it without getting upset. My way was long & slow her new friends new better, She got cocky & wanted revenge with a boyfriend & best friend supporting her.. They twisted her mind so to me she was a stranger, He was punching kicking biting she was in danger.. I taught no matter what is said you do not attack, But if someone attacks you do whats necessary to put them back.. So they graffiti the school walls, boys who had left wrote the head teacher is a cock sucker, Sneaky bully turned victim gave names, a young officer was sucked in started to believe her.. We went to the school Monday morning they were expelled if they didn't name the boys, “I had brought the bullying to the schools attention”, he reduced it to a months suspension, I still had to make more noise.. “If they'd sorted it or I'd let her fight this would not have happened”, But the rough lot graffitied all the time & he was making an example out of them.. He reduced it to two weeks & it was going to court, This is when she decided she was not going back & walked. I got her there on occasions but it was not the same she would not stay, The spiteful bitch continued to be educated while my girl ran away.. I befriended all of her friends & let them come in, But they'd all stay away when they were up to no good & not listening.. She was given drugs then the violence started, We made a statement wanted to press charges, then they were seen together, we were advised that if she didn't withdraw now waisting police time we'd be charged with.. So he continued to be the hero thought he should be proud, Oh yes he was hard alright knocking my little girl around. She was 15 petite the same built as me, He was 6'4” with size 12 boots & was18.. It progressed from squeezing her throat tearing her clothes & throwing her around, To punching kicking & biting, a friend had his jaw broken trying to help was punched to the ground.. I asked her Dad for help (lol) kept trying to get her to school & back home, I searched for her at first but then we communicated by phone.. She told me everything still, I sent long text messages every day, They took the piss saying “ow look here comes another essay”, Looking for a father figure as hers was busy made her stay away.. Speed & pills made her ill then she'd wanna come home, wouldn't last a day before they'd be talking on the phone. Thought Id got through as I built her back up & made her feel better, But she kept going back people said if she wants to take that path then let her.. Speed of a teaspoon & 6/7pills they were giving her, I was distraught & confided in her youth offenders team worker.. Then I went up there to the stupid woman who supplied all the kids, Apparently dangerous I could see her behind the curtain as she hid.. She eventually came out I spoke to her as one mother to another, That afternoon at 4.30 stupid timing she hadn't scored when police raided her.. Youth offenders team worker & police set me up, Yet would not come out unless I got beaten up.. Police can't do anything until its too late, When it was their fault a car load was waiting for us at our gate.. Then the school wanted to take me to court & fine me a grand, They were at the root of this, I'd worked with the truants officer, it was now out of my hands.. I told them “I need a break from all this I can do my writing in prison”, “I will not pay another fine because I cant get her to listen”.. I spoke my mind to the school, truants officers, police & to the stupidly dangerous, I turned it on those harboring her, they were not bringing that on us.. They fought, we fought, I said “All that sh** He taught her” I know what its like loosing control of a naughty teenage daughter. They taught her to steel burn out cars she drove on the road at just turned 15, I taught her to drive safe after the boys nearly put her through a windscreen.. I’d beg and I’d plead with her “please do the right thing” She’d just turn it on me couldn't teach her a thing. I’d shout cry and scream she’d make me rage, Till I looked like an animal only safe in a cage, Didn’t matter what I did she still wouldn’t behave.. I was defending her from everyone thugs police courts truant officer & herself, We both lost faith in the system as we saw lying worked for everyone else.. There was a pc who seem to be cruising by just at the right time, He defused & brought her home for me time after time.. I could not give up on her had to keep trying despite their aggression, The one I brought home for protection taught us all a valuable lesson, Although he cleared us out I didn't need to shout just his look scared them.. Each time I got her back I straightened & strengthened her mind, Bad come down on drugs, then she was borderline anorexic the last time.. After the final break up a stop & search revealed she was in possession of a knife, One they'd found on the common she said it was for protection that caused her strife.. They new he'd been violent towards her but they still took her in, The question was if he abused her would she use it on him. They wanted to charge her with carrying a pointed object, Had to convince them that she would not be able to use it.. Finger prints as usual down at the station, While the sergeant reads the report was contemplating. When they told me again it was going to court, I stood up to punch the wall but instead I talked.. “My girl tells the truth the whole truth & nothing but the truth goes to court every time, The others lie through their teeth and get away with it time after time, What is this teaching this daughter of mine” She'd never had a caution always went straight to court, So they gave her a caution so that one cost me nothing she walked.. For the next couple of years we moved & did everything together, I tried to work but she was damaged I just could not leave her. I needed to work she'd call & call didn't want to be on her own, Took an overdose once because I would not go back home.. But she'd cost me three grand in court costs fines setting her up with a legal car, Five arrests & court appearances they all sent me lala.. Seven years now we've had our ups & downs, But now there is more laughter than there is frowns. She knows a lot now & where she belongs, And the good that she does cancels out all the wrongs.. My youngest was by my side & felt & learned from it all, She had ADHD I was told by her junior school. She was hard work in a different way & didn't do her best, But she's clever enough & I'll teach her the rest.. Managed to keep her at school made sure she did not suffer, What we've dealt with has made us aware & strong & pulled us close together. What they both know already is much more than a lot of adults, We decided we were village people didn't fit in on the estates.. Then both girls met boys from another estate, My girls are intelligent & caring with all different people they can relate. My youngest girls boyfriend is a worker they've been together 5 years now, They tried living up there for a year but everything gets nicked if its not nailed down.. Always something to stress over its a miserable existence, My eldest had it hard because she speaks out puts up resistance. I'm scared that my influence will bring her real danger, Speak against or don't conform & it arouses stupidity & anger.. Many times my girls have been victims of spite and jealousy, They bully smash windows they drained all of my energy.. For years I struggled to keep them at bay, I won’t keep my mouth shut if I’ve got something to say. Wasting my time trying to keep the peace, If they won’t F*** off I will talk to the police.. I’ve made them a promise give us anymore shit, I’m prepared to deal with anything so do us wrong and you’ll regret it.. A mother with children wants to kick the life out of mine I told her it was shameful stay away from my shrine. My granddaughter as a foetus has legs arms and a little head, Hateful cussing and threats they all wanted her dead.. Its demanding I know don’t have time for yourself But don’t let them be hated and left on the shelf.. Teach them to live like sister and brother, My girls are proper sisters taught them to look out for each other.. Both of them are maternal & want to have a baby, They are both my little angels sent to save me.. .