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I made this banner.
I have a searing, realistic and pessimistic sense of humour.
Because of this fact, there is scarcely much left to divulge.
However, there are many dark tales that I have accumulated during my many travels around the globe.
My life has been spent in a strange and beautiful haze, though many of the experiences that were had are not for the faint hearted.
There were enchanting Italians, cube-shaped Ukrainian grandfathers, felines addicted to nicotine, small Peruvian shamans that used me as their apprentice, technicoloured pillow mints, an Indian obsessed with head-shaping, damp women from Yorkshire, an Austrian gentleman that smelled of butyric acid, a woman that tried to asphyxiate me with Nutella, a factory that produced their own brand of bullets called Zsa Zsa GaBullets, an Israeli cab driver called Mr Book, a Muay Thai master that taught me how to kick like a maniac, a lovely South African bloke with a contagious laugh, crusty and shrewd Las Vegas veterans…the list is endless really.
Or something.
For the complete "About Me" explaination, visit the second ever entry of my blog , and it is to be supplemented by the "Interests" section. If you desire to read more, that is.
These Are Ace

Pants
Cheese
English men
Historical fiction
Languages
Severus Snape
Lyrics
The smell of books
Super Nintendo
Boxers
The NME
Potter Puppet Pals!
Really tremendously awesome waiters
Dudes in bands
Dudes who wield red and/or black guitars in said bands
Blue flavours
Flame Ministries International
Dudes who wear makeup in a non 'emo' way
Being regarded as 'mysterious'
Vinyls
Beanie Babies
Ukrainian Byzantine Catholic seminarians
Original flavoured Corn Nuts
Scroll boxes
Listening to music at night on phones
Being empire
Just pretending to be on LSD in boring conversations
Mitch Miller Sing-a-Longs
Dirty bass lines
Harry Potter fan fiction
Writing a good review of something on the Internet
History about anything ancient
Online free casino games
Con movies
Houndstooth (pattern)
The RMS Titanic
Leisurely holiday travel
Cool calendars
Men's samurai hairstyles
Trying to hack various things
Italian men
Caprese salad
Making up good nicknames for people
Pizza tables
Playing pool games
My many extravagant nicknames
Fat socks
Cliches such as 'reading books on the beach'
Cat ears
Grapes
Sleeping in tents
Post
Footballers
Speaking in code
Being tech-savvy
Monopoly
Candy fags
Opening new CD's
Free MP3's
The word 'fax' (even though I think it should be spelled 'facks')
Light-up pens
Sparkly things
Toast
Cirque du Soleil
Absurd combintions of random objects
Racing games
The sound of crinkly paper
Beads
Being sneaky
Really awesome tour-guides
Myspace comments
Standing in front of fans on high blast
PacMan
Reasonably sized pectorals
Organising things
Ketchup sounds
These Offend Me, Yeah?

Abortion
Grotty hotel blankets
When people say 'THE Ukraine' instead of saying proper 'Ukraine'
The Beatles
Dan Brown
The 'emo' movement
Crocs shoes
When people answer questions like "What are you wearing?" with something like "Clothes."
Unreleased singles that prove to be impossible to find
Car commercials that kill good songs
Dust
Restarting the computer
Allergies
San Moritz
When people don't respond to my e-mails
Mean buisinessmen
Being called 'a child' by my most menopausal aunt
iTMS Free Downloads
Wet dog smell
Reality TV
When things slide and fall for no apparent reason
Old Slavonic
Oprah
The three o'clock hour...AM
Doctors
Thick plastic packaging
Being stiff
BlackBerrys
American Football
Bad radio
When tennis players clap with their racquets
Taking shoes off in airports
Tomatoes
Waiting for shuttles that never arrive
MTV
Talking to sucky people on the phone
When the keyboard keys stick
The Pussycat Dolls
Loosing against Joe Zapp
Revolting trendy stores
Loose paperclips
Sabrina and Clara
When people bend the heck out of books
Cop shows
Cheap CD-R's
Deforestation
Stale taste after Cheerio's
Slow Internet
Melted chocolate
People who read newspapers compulsively for hours on end
Dead batteries
Litterers
Pop-ups
Sweet pickels
vertigo Pronunciation Key (vrt-goh) n. pl. vertigoes or vertigos
1. The sensation of dizziness.
2. An instance of such a sensation.
2. A confused, disoriented state of mind.
Imagery is the use of language to evoke a picture or a concrete sensation of a person, a thing, a place, or an experience.
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ABOUT ME: THE SURVEY
Name: Theresa
Birthdate: October 24th
Eye Colour: Brown
Hair Colour: Blonde
Height: 5'10
Your Heritage: 100% Ukrainian, man.
Your Weakness: Nice warm socks, kitties, Orlando Bloom, Paul David Hewson, David Howell Evans, Adam Charles Clayton, Larry Mullen Jr., fountain pens, books and nice cars.
Your Fears: Heights, closed spaces, dropping things into the toilet.
Your Perfect Pizza: Pepperoni.
What You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Dunno, perhaps creating an actual plane out of tounge depressors?
Most Overused Phrase on Instant Messenger: Erm...
Best Physical Feature: Hair?
Your Bedtime: Beats me. Insomnia sucks, man.
Your Most Missed Memory: My deceased family members.
Pepsi or Coke: Coke.
MacDonalds or Burger King: I'd take the clown but this is just me.
Single or Group Dates: Single?
Lipton Tea or Nestea: Neither. I like the real stuff.
Cocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate!
Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappuccino.
Do You Smoke: No.
Do You Swear: No.
Do You Sing: Lipsynching, like.
Have You Been In Love: This is for me to know...
Do You Want To Get Married: Whatever goes goes, man.
Do You Believe In Yourself: Most of the time...
Do You Get Motion Sickness: Thankfully, no.
Do You Think You Are Attractive: Dunno.
Are You A Health Freak: Sometimes, but the chocolates beckon...
Do You Get Along WIth Your Parents: Heck yes.
Do You Like Thunderstorms: No.
Do You Play An Instrument: Piano. Or at least I'd like to think I do...
In The Past Month Have You Consumed Alcohol: Uh-uh.
In The Past Month Have You Smoked: Ni.
In The Past Month Have You Been On Drugs: Allergy medicine?
In The Past Month Have You Gone On a Date: No, I have no life.
In The Past Month Have You Gone To the Mall: Yes, but they give me the willies.
In The Past Month Have You Eaten An Entire Box of Oreos: Nope. That would prove to be impossible.
In The Past Month Have You Eaten Sushi: Erlack, no.
In The Past Month Have You Been on Stage: No.
In The Past Month Have You Been Dumped: I sure to feel square putting in all these "no's."
In The Past Month Have You Gone Skinny Dipping: It's not my bag.
In The Past Month Have You Stolen Anything: No.
Ever Been Drunk: Again with the "no's."
Have You Ever Been Called a Tease: Nerd is more like it.
Ever Been Beaten Up: Love and peace, no knifefights.
Ever Shoplifted: No.
How Do You Want to Die: Morbid question, but peacefully.
What is Your Ideal Profession: Owner of the World's Largest Pair of Pants.
Country/City You Most Want to Visit: Tough one...but the rest of Europe. And Egypt. Mummies are the future.
Favourite Band: U2.
Favourite Singer: Besides Bono, Jeff Buckley.
Favourite Candy: Besides chocolates, I love candy fags. Loads of junk. Can't forget the gummies!
Favourite Book: Way too tough to answer. See "Books" section on opposite side of page.
Favourite Movie: See "Movies" section on opposite side of page.
Favourite Drink: Milk and tea. Milk IN the tea. And I quite like lemonade.
Favourite Article of Clothing: Shirts?
Ever Owned a Pet: Heck yes. Poochies, kitties and a few hamsters thrown into the equation.
Number of CD's I Own: A buttload of them.
Number of Piercings: One in each ear.
Number of Tattoos: Forty. Okay, fine. Just kidding.
Number of Things in My Past I Regret: Well some. Like the fact that I took the tag off of my first Beanie Baby. That was dim.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Colour: Doesn't matter.
Short or Long Hair: It depends on the lad, you know?
Height: Tall-ish.
Weight: Doesn't matter either.
Clothing Style: Whatever reflects the lad's individual style.
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