Alan - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Hi, I'm Alan. I enjoy long walks off short piers and picnics on dodgy cliff edges.I live in a shitass town by the name of Kilmarnock. A town infested by Neds and Nedettes...it's a wonder that I can actually step out of my door without someone asking me for spare change or verbally attacking me with a threatning "awrite dabaws". Anyway, enough about them. They don't even deserve the time of day.My career prospects lies in the world of Freelance journalism, which is not so much of a career as such, just a method of getting my opinion on print without idiotic, puppet master editors ruining it all the second he puts pen to paper in one sub-editing session. So far, I have at least tasted the sweetness of success by interviewing the likes of Eddie Izzard, Chris 'Irvine' Jericho, Keane, Dropkick Murphys, The Scotland squad (2004-2005) and my mum.Currently, however, I am keeping myself afloat in the toilet bowl of life (like a turd that won't flush) by working behind the Music and Video desk in Asda Wal*Mart. It is not exactly where I imagined myself to be at this point in my life but I suppose the position does have its advantages. For one, I get inside scoops on the latest new releases and also have the power of my asda discount card - hoorah!For now, I lead a very simple life - hanging around with my friends Peep, Natalie and Wee Alan (oh and Stephen if he'd unglue his eyes from World of Warcraft) and of course, my beautiful girlfriend Faye :-) whom, which I spend 98% of my time with for numerous reasons. Can you name them all? Hats off to anyone who gets all 1,000,000,000,001That just about covers the subject of myself I believe. I may also add as a footnote that I am, in fact, a really big geek, who plays too many videogames, watches too much anime and has lost sight of the concept of reality as a result.I also tend to go off on dwams and so if I do not engage in conversation at first...try, try again xD..

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My Interests

My girlfriend Faye, Watching Anime, Expanding my taste in music, Playing and collecting the very best Videogames, Watching Comedy/Stand up (Futurama, Family Guy, Adult Swim, Paramount serials/specials), Football (International football), The 80's! (the shows, the music, the fashion sense, the everything!), Wrestling (I like the backstage politics and such), Fun, feel good Movies (Hot Fuzz, Shaun of the Dead, American Pie, South Park, Team America, Clerks etc), Interesting and obscure people who stand out. My favourite beverage is Jack Daniels and coke - it's not just a beverage, it's a way of life.Living in Kilmarnock is amazing!

I'd like to meet:

Ville Valo and Herman Li

Music:

I'll just list all of my favourite bands. I'm not into any one specific genre. Although I do stay the hell away from rap : HIM (His Infernal Majesty), Nightwish, CKY, Saliva, Slayer, MetallicA, Green Day, The Offspring, The Vandals, Queen, Funeral For a Friend, Beatallica (xD), Fozzy, Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, Alice Cooper, Bon Jovi (*blush*, only some of them!), Franz Ferdinand (spot the odd one out), Papa Roach, The Cure, Black Atom, Megadeath, Twisted Sister (xD), Evaneceance, Sum 41, Pantera, Charon, Alterbridge, Videogame soundtracks, The Darkness, Dropkick Murphys, Andrew WK, Bruce Dickinson's solo work, Drowning Pool, The 69 Eyes, Some Linkin Park stuff, Shinedown, The Ramones, William Shatner (lol), David Hasselhoff (lmao), Trust Company, Less than Jake, Angels and Airwaves, Ozzy Osbourne, Journey, Dimmu Borgir, Our Lady Peace, Waterproof Blonde, Blue Oyster Cult, Anathema, Children of Bodom, Mercy Drive, Rush, After Forever, Tenacious D, Motorhead, Disturbed, Goldfinger, Spinal Tap, The Bloodhound Gang, Seether, Blink 182 (oh look at me - I'm so new punk retro - omgz)
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Movies:

Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Rocky, Back to the Future, Team America, South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut, Beavis and Butthead: Do America, Akira, Transformers the Movie (nostalgic skitters!), Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Resident Evil, The Matrix, Happy Gilmore, Life of Brian, Dragonball Z Movie Specials (with blood and Japanese dialogue nobody understands!), Metallica: Some Kind of Monster, Pulp Fiction, Silence of the Lambs, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Braveheart (the historical inaccuracy in so funny, I like this film for all the wrong reasons), Full Metal Jacket, Burn Up:Warrior, End of Evangelion, The Guyver, Toy Story (xD), Pirates of the Carribbean, Spider-Man 1&2, Battle Angel Elita, Spirited Away, Serenity, Star Trek 2&4 (Hump-back Whale!), Mallrats, Dogma, The Flying Car, Streetcar named Desire, Short Circuit, V for Vendetta, Pirates of the Carribean 2: Dead Man's Chest, Jackass 2, Beyond the Mat, Man on the Moon, The Truman Show, Ace Ventura Star Wars Man on the Moon Shaun of the Dead Star Trek 2 - The Wrath of Khan Terminator The Guyver End of Evangelion Dragonball Z Burn Up Excess

Television:

Frasier, Red Dwarf, Doctor Who (the new series, not the smelly old one), South Park, The Simpsons, Viva La Bam, Jackass, Camp Kill Yourself, Clerks the animated series, Black Books, Spaced, Firefly, Adam and Joe, Family Guy, Futurama, Undergrads, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Happy Days (xD), M*A*S*H, Everybody Loves Raymond, Buffy and Angel, Excel Saga, The Guyver, Heroes, Father Ted, Lee Evans, Quantum Leap, Sliders, Star Trek TNG, Star Trek Voyager, Smallville, Scrubs, Harvey Birdman Attorney at Law, Burn Up Excess, Dragonball Z, The Footie, WWE, NWA:TNA, VH1 Specials, UFC, Kerrang 24/7, He-Man (xD), Jack Dee, Bill Bailey, Friday Night with Johnathan Ross and every cartoon from the 1980's!!!!

Books:

BATTLEFIELD EARTH! The Lord of the Rings, 1984, Animal Farm (first book I ever read), Rainbow Six, The Da Vinci Code, HALO, Fever Pitch, Is it just me or is everything shit, Love all the People, How to talk dirty and influence women...oh and Peanuts and Calvin and Hobbes XD!Online Status Icons

Heroes:

Jonathan Ross (proffesion), Ville Valo (appearance), Simon Pegg (attitude and realistic approach), Kevin Smith (ideals), Keanu Reeves! (excellent, *air guitar*) Chris Jericho (belief in conquering obstacles) and Eddie Guerrero (passion for what I do as he showed in the ring each and every night)

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Chris Jericho Jonathan Ross Kevin Smith

My Blog

The Pit Awards 2007

*Due to the recent events concerning the writers strike, the 2007 Pit Awards has been cancelled* ...yeah, like I'm a fucking writer. Don't worry! There's still some material left to review/blast from...
Posted by Alan on Tue, 08 Jan 2008 08:05:00 PST

Ratatouille: A Videogame With Good Taste?

"Y'know? I always say that a good videogame, is like a good meal. It's gotta look great, it's gotta sound great...if you want to experience the full flavour" *Gasp followed by a sigh* "This is m...
Posted by Alan on Wed, 24 Oct 2007 04:02:00 PST

Colin McRae - A Legacy

As we look back on the events, which occured that Friday morning, on the eve of the madness and hysteria, which would inevitably unfold, one begins to wonder where it all went wrong and why such a...
Posted by Alan on Sun, 23 Sep 2007 04:08:00 PST

It’s Just a War

The factors leading to war are often complicated and due to a wide range of issues, no matter how small and insignifficant they may appear to be. Wars are fought when disputes arise over issues such a...
Posted by Alan on Thu, 13 Sep 2007 03:33:00 PST

The Decline of Wrestling

As it seems lately, the world of wrestling has had it's shoulders pressed firmly on the canvas for quite some time now, as the world contemplates counting the 1, 2, 3! Their nostalgia being the only t...
Posted by Alan on Tue, 08 May 2007 10:55:00 PST

Who are they now?

BBC's science fiction series, Doctor Who has been on the airwaves for almost as long as time itself and is the longest running television show in history. For some, the mysterious time traveler known ...
Posted by Alan on Thu, 28 Jun 2007 05:11:00 PST

Gamer Points Scandal

The next generation of gaming is well and truly here! All the build up and hype can finally be put to rest. Every major player has placed their cards on the table and the game, so to speak, is on.&nbs...
Posted by Alan on Tue, 01 May 2007 04:19:00 PST

The truth behind the 'Super' Mario Brothers

The Super Mario Brothers, who are best known as the mascots of the popular videogame developers Nintendo, have been entertaining millions of children and shut-in nerds for decades. These two have real...
Posted by Alan on Thu, 15 Mar 2007 07:15:00 PST

The Room - Where People Gloom

*Tests Microphone* Hello? Is this thing still working. Jeez, there is some feedback on this baby, when was the last time this thing was used? Anyone? Ok, so to be frank (although my name is Alan real...
Posted by Alan on Wed, 28 Feb 2007 05:44:00 PST

Top 5 Most Dissapointing Moments in Animation

Personally, I believe that every show on television has a peak. Which of course suggests that the programme cannot get any better if it happens to continue. How good the world would be if network prod...
Posted by Alan on Tue, 23 Jan 2007 06:37:00 PST