I actually like the title Traffic Czar. The Legal Dept. had issues with that though. Thank God (Allah,Buddha,The Great Spirit,or the funky ass elephant statue they have in India) for those guys otherwise the feelings of tens of Morons who listen to our show would be irrevocably damaged and then the FCC would have my helicopter shot down but, enough about you lets talk about me. I came to Hollywood from New Jersey seeking two lovely young ladies named Fame and Fortune. I met them at a Strip Club in Atlantic City. Still haven't run into either one of them yet. Who I did run into though was a Hustler from the streets of Compton who told me " yeah yeah yeah maafucka all you hav a do is get up in dat ghetto bird and tell maafuckas whats poppin on da streets know what I'm sayin Yo!" Luckily I had my Ebonics decoder ring handy because I was pretty sure he was trying to turn me out on Hollywood Blvd. with the rest of fine upstanding crack whores.Now I patrol the skies of Southern California in search of trouble on the freeways...not exactly the toughest gig I've ever had. Seriously! Sometimes I think some of you morons are trying to break Hitler's record. For all you morons that I speak of, don't ever let'em tell you suicide is not an option. It definitely is and you'd be doing us all a great service.
