Ivan - ProfilesArchive

About Me

'We're gonna write a song as universal as "Happy Birthday" to make sure that everyone knows that everything is gonna be ok.'
Why don't we ask everyday people like you and me what they think of Ivan: Tell us about Ivan... "If you want to have a really good time, or if you don't want to have a good time, you should definitely or indefinitely call Ivan. Basically, do what you want, I don't care."
"I've never met him, nor have I ever seen him, but based on the way you framed your question the phrase 'magnanimous FAG' comes to mind. Tell me, does Ivan enjoy public rest stops?"
"Die zweite Welle ist auf uns, und nur wird Zeit bald erzhlen, wie rot die Straen werden flieen einmal der gelb-behaarte Lwe seinen Thron zurckgewonnen hat. Fliege! Fliege, Sie ungezgeltes Krieg Pferde. Die Zeit zeichnet nahe fr Ihren sanguine Regen, auf den Kpfen der Unglubigen zu schlagen. Ach, und Ivan ist ein khler Bursche. "
"Well. he's surely one of the greatest wits of our time. His use of language and outstanding imagery surely will place his name among the greats: Milton, Frost, Marlowe. Oh, I'm sorry, you said 'Ivan,' I thought you said Billy Collins. Ivan? He's got nipples that look like carousels after Dahli was through with them." "Hey, remember me? I'm the one who said I've never met that fag. Actually, I have! That queer owes me eighty dollars. So, you find your boy and tell him I'm looking for him. The turd is gonna pay... with his legs! That's right, a good, rigorous 'jog-a-thon' will teach him a lesson."
also, i think this is great...
you know who this is for...
The sounds of the city, baby, seem to disappear

My Interests

snuh

I'd like to meet:

ts eliot, ee cummings, samuel l jackson, and anyone else who can pretentiously replace a name with an initial.

Music:

SLOAN (duh), superdrag, rilo kiley, pixies, shostakovich, ben kweller/ radish, zombies, benfolds (five), flashing lights, husker du, super friendz, thrush hermit, aztec camera, stevie wonder, the caesars, hot hot heat, debussy, ozma, my morning jacket, danko jones, the electric soft parade, love, magnetic fields, waking hours, mos def, old 97's, any/all nuggets (ever), the tiger lillies, velvet..., chopin, satier, smile, rufus wainright, eric's trip, beck, clem snide, wagner, quest for the holy grail, sunny day real estate, the mooney, elvis costello (have i proven my music savy. yet?)

Movies:

anything mel brooks, rushmore, the jerk, waiting for guffman, the man with 2 brains, kung pow: enter the fist, the princess bride, waking life, back to the future, high fidelity, wet hot american summer, Coupon: the movie, a mighty wind, run, ronnie, run, the bob lamonta story,

Television:

The simpsons, sports night, west wing, the office, mr. show, ucb, C O'B, the muppet show, family guy, kith, sctv, i'm alan partridge KMKYWAP

Books:

the passions, paradise lost, all shakespeare, the satanic verses, jitterbug perfume, breakfast of champions, the brothers karamasov, ivan ilyich, the castle, the trial, don quixote, the metamorphosis, iliad, odyssey, frankenstein, faust, the man who was thursday, 3 lives, written on the body, to the light house, monday or tuesday, lolita, cold comfort farm, portrait of an artist..., the comedians, catch 22, fierce invalids home from hot climates, the picture of dorian gray, pat kavanagh, ee cummings, winters' tales, slaughter house 5, sinners in the hands of an angry god, anthem, the fountainhead, the chronicle of a death foretold, a nervous breakdown, high fidelity, notes from the underground, robert frost, t.s. elliot, dubliners, a confederacy of dunces

Heroes:

josh lyman, casey mccall, dan rydell, president josiah bartlett, isaac jaffe, prince hal (henry iv), ate, patrick pentland, jay ferguson, paul mccartney, paul f tompkins, freddy chopin, tom robbins, john the baptist, wallace stevens, dmitri shostakovich, fdr, abe lincoln, job, colin bluntstone, stevie wonder, mom, dad and iris.. and , i can't forget the one and only Prince

My Blog

Hellenics

So, I'm teaching my Freshmen class aboot Ancient Greek society and pantheonic mythology. I mention the name Zeus, and a stentorian, raspy voice booms from the stadium seated classroom. I l...
Posted by Ivan on Thu, 31 May 2007 08:34:00 PST

Reality Shows I've Never Seen

This is a short list of reality shows i've never seen but have certain ideas aboot based solely on their titles:Family Plots - every week a Hebrew socio-coprologist examines the stool samples from one...
Posted by Ivan on Tue, 17 Oct 2006 05:44:00 PST

Goodbye, Sgt. Star

From the Private IM files of Sgt. Star-------------------------------------------------------- --------------------SGT STAR: Welcome Bruce. How can I help you today?Bruce: Do you have time? I mean, is ...
Posted by Ivan on Wed, 06 Sep 2006 11:06:00 PST

The How-To's of Writing a Love Letter (Getting Started)

The How-To's of Writing a Love Letter (Part I: Getting Started) Profess ever lasting love for your one and only in a proper love letter using these simple steps. 1. Select stationary or paper appropro...
Posted by Ivan on Fri, 21 Jul 2006 02:14:00 PST

MaiKu

6 Aspects of MySpace as told by Shosan Wren drinks th'noon day sun Dusk lights will swell in her song- I'm just MySpacing IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ! Psych! I put up...
Posted by Ivan on Fri, 05 May 2006 04:01:00 PST

RE: My best girlfriend asked me to message you, weirddd i know but cool

Yo dog yea this girl who has been my best friend since ive been young hits me up. She says she sees this profile of someone that reminds her of her first crush. I dunno Im not the one w...
Posted by Ivan on Fri, 17 Feb 2006 04:44:00 PST

Cats are queer

When Ernest Hemingway was bereft with writer's block, he wouild stand at his type writer and say to himself in a trochaic mantra, 'write one true sentence.' Concucius said, 'look yourself in the mirro...
Posted by Ivan on Fri, 17 Feb 2006 03:44:00 PST

sighing

You walk alone in the valley of life In the shadow of love under the trees of happiness You walk alone like a baby unborn Like a father unknown Like a pocket penniless I'm happy that you rea...
Posted by Ivan on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

...like a put out candle.

Dear Aunt Artica, Given a choice between folly and a sacrament, one should choose the folly- because we know a sacrament won't bring you closer to God and there's always a chance that a folly will....
Posted by Ivan on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST