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captain sassy pants

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About Me

i can believe things that are true and i can believe things that aren't true and i can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not. i can believe in santa claus and the easter bunny and marilyn monroe and the beatles and elvis and mister ed. i believe that people are perfectible, and that knowledge is infinite, and the world is run by secret banking cartels. i believe that the future sucks and the future rocks and i believe that one day white buffalo woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. i believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in america is coincident with the decline in drive in movie theaters from state to state. i believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. i believe that california is going to sink into the ocean when the big one comes, while florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste. i believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like the martians in war of the worlds. i believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. i believe that candy really did taste better when i was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumblebee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself. i believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything that i do. i believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that i'm alive. i believe in an empty and godless universe of casual chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck. i believe that anyone who says that sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. i believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too. i believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. i believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system. i believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it. Layout made by imthebunny at CreateBlog.com .

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

your hot older brother.

My Blog

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