Honey for the Bears

Formed 1986, Washington DC. First notices in tattoo and piercings press. Band briefly interrupted 1991 while Dave in army, sent to Persian Gulf. Jesse's son Daryl Jr. filled in on vocals while Jesse recovered from painful surgery (lymphatic filariasis) in early '92; half-cousin Chauncey served while Daryl was incarcerated for chronic public drunkenness later that year. Courtney Love sang for a while around this time, inspires song "Corona" about genital insertion. Dave introduces her to heroin. (It is rumored that Dave also taught Kurt Cobain to load the shotgun he used to kill himself.) Circa 1994, band signed to and then dropped by Atlantic; Jesse in jail, charged with kidnapping half step-nephew from second marriage. (Legal defense: "I am my own grandpa.") Signed to Geffen for $2 million while Jesse in prison in South Carolina. Dave breaks contract by transporting weapons across Mexican border (the historic no-felony clause, later used on Kelley Deal); judge said Dave would have gotten off with a warning if he had not also been transporting a half-dozen 12-year-old Mexican girls to be sold as sex slaves to college professors in upstate New York. Instead, Dave got 6 years, but was released in early '97 for good behavior (warden was female). Band relocates to Seattle; Jesse unable to gig for first 6 months because of electronic ankle bracelet from house arrest (b&e). James Iha fills in for a handful of disastrous shows. Band (minus Iha) opens up for pre-fame White Stripes. About to sign to Interscope when cache of ultraviolent Southeast Asian child porn found in Ramm's car. Three to 5, federal; must register as sex offender, rendering tours next to impossible. Ramm gets out after 5 months because DNA contamination at crime lab destroys evidence in appeal. Ca. 1999-2002, frequent gigs in Seattle, relatively stable time. Scott Weiland and Nuno Bettencourt regular guests onstage. Love rejoins band fall 2003, begins tempestuous Kurt-and-Courtney-esque affair with Jesse; band nearly breaks up when Jesse finds her in bed with Dave AND Shannon. Jesse gets 3 to 5 for aggravated assault but judge voids conviction out of disgust for Love, says Jesse "should have finished the job." Band records debut album on steps of courthouse, winter 2005. Unlawful assembly, 90 days. (Tapes confiscated, disappear.) Band offered opening spot on Flaming Lips tour, drops out at last minute because Ramm's license revoked (DUI: .405!); instantly in debt $60,000 over contractual tour expenses. Shortly thereafter, Love sells 25 percent stake in Nirvana song publishing (total value estimated $100 million). Rumors circulate she still feels guilty over breakup with Jesse. Band debt cleared in unexplained circumstances. Eight weeks later, Love spotted at abortion clinic in France. Dave, in telegram from jail: "Rock 'n' roll forever!" Warrant issued for Ramm's arrest in Vietnam on child molestation charge from a tour there while in the army, post-Desert Storm. ("Their rectums never healed," says Vietnamese ambassador.) Spring 2006, band reportedly working on first album (tentative title: "North Korean Democracy"), with one free day in modest Seattle studio. Jesse moves to San Francisco, choosing to live in Mission District, known for high concentration of meth labs. Dave shaves beard. Summer, Steve Jobs of Apple Computer contacts band to license "Robot and the Monkey Wars" for iTunes commercial, offers $250,000 and free computers for life. Deal falls through because band does not know what a computer is. September, Ramm arrested at L'Amour's club in Brooklyn, NY, for assaulting house band after they refused to back him up on Carnivore's 1987 race-war-core classic "Jesus Hitler." Police search uncovers extensive holdings of Porno for Pyros bootlegs. Further recording sessions planned for late fall/early winter.