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I hope you take the time to read my story... Let me know you stopped by... =)Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future…” I decided to share some of my testimony here on my MySpace Page, in hopes that it might touch someone… So here goes… My name is Jennifer I am 36 years old I was raised in Streamwood, Illinois I heard the name “Jesus” at a young age but didn’t know who he truly was until later in life… Even though I had called upon his name several times when I felt I was in “trouble”. I was in no way living a life that is laid out in the Bible… I was a very troubled teenager… I’ve really never had a “good relationship” with my Mom, we have always “butted” heads. She blames it on my “illness” my “Bipolar”… I blame it on her being unable to love me and accept me for who “I” am Jennifer, “unconditionally”… Even into my adult years my mom and I have had this on again off again relationship, right now it is on the “off again mode” This really saddens me for my children the most because it effects them and it just should not be this way! I have just come to accept the fact that I just cannot have the kind of relationship “I” pictured in my head that a “mother and daughter “ should have and that, that “relationship” may not even exist! I have also chosen to be around Family and Friends who are going to encourage me and lift me up, speak life into me and over me!!! AMEN! NOT any thing other than that! I always felt as though I didn’t belong as though something was “wrong” with me like I didn’t “fit” in… With my family or with my friends… I gave my parents a very hard time… I was very rebellious… At age 16 I was diagnosed with Bipolar I… ( WHICH WAS A WRONG DIAGNOSES!) I refused to take my medicine properly, which made things more difficult in the family…A lot of it had to do with the fact I was taking the wrong type of medicine too! Looking back it saddens me that I treated my sister's and brother the way I did and caused them trauma in their life, it was NOT intentional on my part! I turned to food for comfort as I always had since a small child… Then boys and sex, which resulted in a teenage pregnancy… I was excited to be pregnant… Until the reality set in… I dropped out of High School, I had no job, No place to live, My baby’s Father wanted nothing to do with us… I had an emotional and a depression illness that was going untreated… not to mention I was in denial regarding it… and was being given the WRONG medicine for my (BIPOLAR TYPE II) later at about age 26 I was diagnosed Bipolar II… I was irresponsible as well… My parents allowed me to move back into their home before the baby was born… 12/08/91 I gave birth to my first-born son Jacob Anthony Bialek who I was blessed to share his life with for 4 months and 17 days… Until I decided that it would be best for Jacob to place him for Adoption… JACOB AND ME (hours after his birth!) During this time I also found out that the man I grew up with and thought was my father (Anthony Bialek) was not my biological father… I didn’t know any other man to be my father… Right before giving Jacob up for adoption Jacob’s Father Kevin, was denying that he was indeed his father… We went to find out Jacob’s blood type, while we were there I found out my blood type was not what I thought it was my whole life nor did it fit for me to belong to my parents… It took another 5 years for my mom to tell me about my biological father… His name is Kenneth Muir I was reunited with him the summer of 1997… He held a Muir reunion I was able to meet not only my dad, but I have 2 other sisters… Tara and Renee... My Grandma, Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins… It was Amazing! It helped complete something in me that I can’t explain… To look into people’s faces and see resemblance… To hear my laugh in my sister and cousin’s laugh… to see similarity in personalities was so comforting… To meet my grandma and fall in love with such a strong compassionate woman that I am so thankful to have been blessed and honored to have met!(My Grandma Muir!) (Me and "My Daddy") This man didn’t raise me… God’s Plan was for Anthony Bialek to be my Daddy… This news came as a shock to him as well... and the words he said to me have stuck with me to this very day! This is what he said to a very confused girl... "You may not have MY blood running through your veins, but YOU are MY DAUGHTER!" That's the LOVE of a FATHER! Thanks dad! I LOVE YOU! those words have meant more to me than YOU will EVER know! I am blessed to have 2 fathers and was able to meet them both and be a part of both of their lives… (Me and My Dad Ken Christmas 07) I was married to Stephen VanDerStelt in August 1994 while pregnant with our first daughter Serenity Jean Born March 15th 1995… Even though I was not "saved" at this time I asked GOD is he the right one? Show me a sign... Steve was arrested and we were NOT able to get married as planned for our 1st date to be married, I KNEW then that was an answer from GOD, but I was ANGRY and was disobedient, and chose to wait for Steve to to come home and we married anyway... That knowledge of disobedience never left the back of my mind as troubled waters filled my marriage... Steve was unfaithful during our marriage, which resulted in HIS 2nd child Stephanie Paige born September 15th 1995… We stayed married and tried to work through our marriage… Steve had a past of jails and Prison, which cause me to fear, losing him to that life again… I tried to control him and his actions and that only pushed him further away… We partied together, drank, smoked pot etc… My husband wanted to spend as little time as he could with me… We separated several times… I would become very depressed and obsessed without Steve in my life… I couldn’t take care of my daughter or myself when we would be separated… All I could focus on was getting him back… I would do ANYTHING to get him back… There are many times I did not like who I was when I was with him or who I was when I was trying to get him back… I felt like I did not have control over what I was doing… I was his wife and I wanted him to be my “HUSBAND” I didn’t want to share him… When I look back now I can see that I was Idolizing my Husband and the Lord wants to be 1st... I was unable to do that... I ended up in a psychiatric hospital for my depression and to get stabilized on some medication… While I was there someone asked if I was a “Christian” I said I don’t know… I knew I was Catholic but I didn’t even know what a Christian was… He asked me if I was “Saved” again I didn’t know what that meant, he said, “You know born again?” ah no I’ve been born once… I started to think he really belonged in here… Over the next couple of days he continued to talk to me about Jesus… and how he had come for people like us him and I… The broken hearted… He also said that God was “Our Father” in heaven “Our Daddy” and that he was waiting for me with “open arms” that I should come to his church sometime… When I went back into my room after he spoke those words to me I was sobbing… our father, my daddy, open arms? I wanted that SO badly… Could that all be true? Later that night he had some visitors from his church, a young married couple… The woman came and talked with me, she wrapped her arms around me, I just started sobbing in her arms… I never met her before I didn’t even know her name… She just told me how much Jesus loved me, and How God was waiting for me… She invited me to church as well… So I began my Christian Walk at the Elgin Vineyard in the fall of 1997… I accepted Christ as my Savior in January of 1998… That was a slow changing process in my life! I was the first one in my family to leave the Catholic Church… I began praying for my husband and for our marriage… We reunited and my husband was saved as well! We had 2 more children Sierra Ann born 01/06/00 and Stephen Robert Jr. born 01/05/01… Satan comes to steal, rob and destroy… and that is what happened… while I was pregnant with our son my husband chose to leave us for his other child’s mother… Then shortly there after he was living with another woman who became pregnant as well and born to HIM another child Stephen Robert born 11/26/03… I chose to move away to try to start my life over… I went into a Homeless Shelter for women with Children and that is where I stayed until I gave birth to my son… When I discovered my husband was having a 2nd child with a 2nd woman during our marriage I filed for Divorce… We were Divorced in 2003. (Steve and ALL his Children summer '08) I slipped away from church myself and found myself back in the arms of men… Drinking, Smoking Pot, in the Club Scene… I started taking Metabolife and lost a lot of weight… (BEFORE METABOLIFE Weight 398 POUNDS!!!) (AFTER METABOLIFE Weight 211 POUNDS!!!) I was in a steady relationship for about 2 years… You would think I would be happy… But I wasn’t… Inside I knew the lifestyle I was living was wrong… The first “comfortable” thing I tried to do was go back to my ex husband… That was NOT the answer, but I had to find that out… So I moved back to give that another try… It didn’t take long to figure out that was not the answer… My sinful choices of sex, drugs, drinking, and over eating were pushing me deeper into my depression and further away from God… I was quickly gaining the weight back that I had lost since they had banned the Metabolife as well… I had also seen how “addicted” I was to my ex husband and how unhealthy that relationship was…I decided to move to Kentucky by my cousin Michelle to get another fresh start… My cousin Michelle who has become not just a “cousin” but a “Best Friend” “I love you CUZ!” Within a month I had a job as a C.N.A. and soon there after I had my own place… It didn’t take very long until I noticed myself in the same “wilderness” sex, drugs, drinking… I began looking for a church… I found another job at a church as a Christian Daycare Teacher… I asked the Lord to search my heart… to change me… I met the man who is now my Husband Brad… Together we went to Eastwood Baptist Church and to Reformers Unanimous in Kentucky… I began to get into God’s word for the first time in my life… I realized how deceived I had become by the things of this world… As I read the Bible the Lord revealed the Truth to me… the real Truth… Jesus Christ… I had to make a choice, to believe what I knew to be true in my heart even though it was going to be hard to change my lifestyle… I was tired of living my life in the same circle of pain and sorrow caused by my own choices… It was time for me to accept the responsibility of MY own actions and to stop blaming everyone and everything for my pain, mistakes and failures…** Freedom came for me by accepting my faults…** By being honest with others and myself! (John 8:32) The truth did set me free!** Brad and I were married on September 1st 2006… He not only fell in love with me but he took on the responsibility of my 3 children as well… Brad has a testimony as well as we all do…His testimony is for him to share... The Lord continues to mold our blended family… I was able to go off of ALL of my medication November of 2005!!! Praise the LORD!!! We moved back to Illinois in November of 2006 so I could be closer to my family… The Lord has blessed us and we have been stable and in 1 place for going on 3 years… That is the longest I have had my children in one place! Praise the Lord! We have been faithfully attending a church in the town we live in "The Journey" What a fitting name, for a couple of years now! I love our church… We are part of our church “family”… * I want to say that I make mistakes everyday just like everyone else, I am NOT perfect… not even close… I fail everyday… I pick myself up, dust myself off and turn from my old behaviors… With the help of Jesus… * I am Not Perfect, But I am Forgiven! * AMEN * Victory in CHRIST is MINE!!! We will be celerbrating our 3rd Anniversary on 09/01/09... What a Journey... =) Please keep our family in prayer as God molds us, shapes us, and heals us... He is the Super Glue to this family that he is "putting together" The Lord showed me this... We go to the store to buy things, we want them "new" we don't want to buy something broken or scratched... But when we come to God he wants us as we are "broken" thats when He can do what needs to be done with us... He doesn't want us to hide our scratches, scars, dents and so on... So He can make us "New" in HIM... Until we are at that place ready to make Him "Lord in our life" Ready to put him 1st in ALL things! As He is meant to be! Ready to Praise him in ALL things! No Marriage is “Perfect” and ours feels like a roller coaster a lot of the time! During “those” times I need to remember Ephesians 6:12 (New International Version) 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. My “fight” is not “really” against my “husband”! I also have to stay in MY close circle of “believers” When the going gets tough! I need people who are going to pray for me, and with me… Lift me UP in the Lord…. Hold me accountable to God’s word! Not just “TELL ME WHAT I WANT TO HEAR!” That’s what people of and in the world do! Satan is sneaky and TWISTED I (we) have to be very careful!!! My “awesome” Pastor told me this not too long ago when we lose site and are off track with someone, we are loading the gun that is pointing right at “US” (Ouch)! But how true! We have choices that all come down to us! It DOES NOT MATTER WHAT THE OTER “PERSON” DID! We are still responsible for OUR own ACTIONS! I am so guilty as charged in this area!!! ß Need Prayer here!!! =)o My 14 year old daughter Serenity has had some struggles and is in a Christian Boarding School… She went on June 30th 2008 and will remain for a minimum of 15 months… I ask that you please pray for my daughter during this time… This June she will have been there for 1 year… She is just now starting to get motivated and begin to let the Lord break her and mold her! Praise the Lord! I am SO proud of her! God is SO good! The Lord moved a Mountain to get my Baby Girl into this school, as financially I did not see how it was going to work… Our God is BIGGER than that… Matthew 19:26 “with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” We will make our first visit to see Serenity in October! (You can see pictures from this visit in my photo album!) Serenity got to come home for her 1st home visit over Christmas Vacation, the first week went great... The 2nd week well not so good, but we are making progress and GOD IS SO GOOD! Serenity's 2nd visit was to be over Valentine's Day weekend. We were unable to make it there to visit her. Her Grandfather (Her biological dad's father) passed away on February 7th 2009 from lung cancer. Her next visit is to be over Easter Weekend... We are praying God will provide us with the means to be able to go and visit! The visit ove Easter Weekend was AMAZING!!! Serenity was on “restriction” meaning she could only come off campus for a limited amount of time due to her level… It was such a “Beautiful” visit! She has been doing SO good since that last visit I am in AWE!!! The next visit is to be over Father’s day! I am PRAYING God sends the $$$ for this visit! Brad is still out of work! Serenity really NEEDS the visits! Serenity sent pictures home in August of 08... Total Transformation! My mom did NOT even recognize her! She looks AMAZING God has CHANGED her SO much that she LOOKS different! PRAISE GOD! LOOK AT GOD'S AWESOME WORK in my daughter! (Serenity BEFORE New Creations...) Serenity just 3 months AFTER being at New Creations! Praise the LORD!) http://www.newcreationsboardingschool.org/ Above is a link to New Creations... Any Parents who need help in the Lord with a child please pray about it, and look into the website... After gaining back all the weight I lost and more I decided to have the Gastric Bypass RnY Surgery done… I had my surgery October 02, 2007… See blog for updates… I weighed 427 POUNDS the day of my Surgery!!! ( T’WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE SURGERY ) (DOWN 194 POUNDS!!!) ** IN 17 MONTHS!! **I did end up going BACK on medication about November of 2007!!! God is still good! I knew when I needed to reach out and I did!!! Losing as much weight as quickly as I did throws hormones off like crazy and I also have a history! I am still claiming a SOUND MIND IN CHRIST JESUS!!! AMEN!!! ** Update from my Oncology appointment! I NEED Prayer!** Friends and Family... On September 23, 2008 at the oncologist I was told my ovarian "cysts" are "tumors" and I need a FULL Hysterectomy... there are 20 types of ovarian cancer and I have 1 type inside my body, We did a blood serum 22 test it came back positive. I have had one of the tumors for at least a year, and the new one we found in August... If I would not have had the Gastric Bypass Surgery, we would not have even found the tumors... That is how I even had the CT Scan! I have lost over 160 Pounds to date which makes for a healthier surgery! Praise our ALL knowing GOD! My surgery date is October 27th 2008... The day AFTER I come back from visiting my daughter Serenity at the Christian Boarding School. I will be in ICU for 24 hours and in a regular room for 7 days... They will do an incision from my belly button down. Please add me for PRAYER! I KNOW I am in the LORD'S hands! "IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL" Pray for comfort for my children and my Husband... Pray that that Lord be with the team of Dr.'s the day of my surgery. In HIS love! Jenn I had my surgery! NO CANCER!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!! ONLY 1 TUMOR... It was the size of a 16 pound Watermelon! They had to remove it and my left Overy! That is ALL! Baby Making Parts Still Intact! God is SO good!I feel as my "Assignment" is here in the HOME to be the CLAY for the POTTER'S HANDS as HE mold's me into the daughter, wife and mother he has created ME to be... A Proverbs 31 Assignment my "Bible Based Program" is to be here in my home! God is ALL Knowing and SO good! I have "Aggressive Faithfulness" right now... I am not letting go of it for NOTHING! God is SO good! Keep us in Prayer! I also started handmaking items to raise money to be able to visit my daughter Serenity at New Creations... Things like cell phone charms, pins, bracelets, book marks, flip flops, and blankets... I decided to start my own business!!! It's offical!!! I have my # and my name! I didn't want to do this the wrong way I wanted ALL of God's Blessing upon it. So fitting as can be I am calling it Jennifer's Creations. =) I am SO glad to have been reunited with some of my childhood friends and began friendships as adults! Blessings to you all Love in HIM, Jenn You can also find me on FACE BOOK Jennifer Bialek Reeves I have been spending time over there too these days! Be blessed! Get Your Girly Christian Myspace Layouts handmade with TLC only at MyFabFaith.com