DJ FRANK MORALES

Before requesting songs, making comments, or asking questions of the D.J., please... CHECK BELOW FOR YOUR REQUEST

1. PLAY SOMETHING GOOD...SOMETHING WE CAN DANCE TO! The D.J. has to play for more than one person...so, what you may hate may be another's favorite song and EVERYTHING played here can be danced to one way or another.

2.WOULD YOU PLAY SOMETHING WITH A BEAT? BE SERIOUS! We know of NO songs played in a club that don't have some sort of a beat!

3. I DON'T KNOW WHO SINGS IT AND I DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF THE SONG, BUT IT GOES LIKE THIS... Please don't sing for the D.J.! They have to put up with smoke-filled rooms and dangerous decibel levels all night. Do them a favor and DON'T give them a rendition of your favorite song!

4. EVERYBODY WANTS TO HEAR IT! Oh sure, you polled EVERYONE in the club and, as their spokesperson, you are requesting the song.

5. I CAN GET LAID IF YOU PLAY IT! If you are GOOD ENOUGH, you can get laid to anything!! (also been known as "buy the album and get laid for a month!")

6. I WANT TO HEAR IT NEXT! The only people who can get away with that statement write the D.J.'s paycheck!7. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANNA HEAR...WHAT DO YOU HAVE? It's a lot easier for you to go have another beer and figure out what you want to hear than it is for the D.J. to recite the name of EVERY record in the booth!

8. HEY YO, NOBODY CAN DANCE TO THIS! It is not advisable to say this when the dance floor is packed (but, some people do anyway)! However, even if there is only ONE person on the floor, it STILL contradicts the statement.

9. EVERYBODY WILL DANCE TO IT IF YOU PLAY IT! The D.J. won't...I guess that blows a hole in that theory!

SOME ASSORTED THINGS NOT TO SAY If you ask for a song and the D.J. says he just played it, DON'T SAY , "Well, I just got here." It makes absolutely no difference. DON'T SAY , "Is this the only kind of music you play?" If you go to a Chinese restuarant, you wouldn't ask for Italian food. Rock clubs play rock, alternative clubs play alternative, discos play disco, etc., etc., etc... If you ask for a song, BE SPECIFIC. DON'T SAY, "I wanna hear something, anything but this!" Try going to the bar and saying, "I wanna drink something, anything but this..." You can't complain if you're not SPECIFIC. HOWEVER, if you ARE specific and the D.J. says he doesn't have the song, DON'T SAY, "What?!! What do you mean you don't have it? What kind of d.j. are you? Why don't you get into the wonderful world of fast food! You obviously don't know what you're doing as a D.J.!"... HE MAY SHOOT YOU!!! Special Note A nightclub D.J. gets very little respect. They are expected to play everything for everybody. It is impossible to satisfy all to the people all of the time, yet club jocks are expected to do just that. If a radio jock tells his listeners a song is a hit, the majority of the people think it must be "because they said so on the radio." However, 80% of the time, that same song was being played in a club long before the radio DISCOVERED the NEW song. So, give the D.J. a break! The next time you request a song, stop and THINK before you speak. And above all, if the Dj has one hand on the mixer, one hand on a TURNTABLE - wearing headphones, DON'T BUG HIM OR HER!!!