Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi >Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING.Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris...Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.On the SAT if you put Chuck Norris for every answer you will score over 8000When Chuck norris found this web-site while surfing the internt, he round house kicked his computer...10 new facts were added instantly.including this oneNo matter what your mother always said, Chuck Norris can tune a fish.Chuck Norris visits an active volcano every morning to get some of "the best damn espresso on Earth".Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was an exhibition game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.Kenny G is allowed to live because Chuck Norris doesn't kill women.Chuck Norris needs a monkeywrench and a blowtorch to masturbate.Chuck Norris neither melts in your mouth nor in your hand. He shreds your trachea before ravaging your soul with a combination of chocolate, whickey, roundhouse kicks and death. Oh, and pain. Lots of pain.Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.Chuck Norris does not follow fashion trends, they follow him.Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.In the movie "The Matrix", Chuck Norris is the Matrix. If you pay close attention in the green "falling code" scenes, you can make out the faint texture of his beard.Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard.Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.Chuck Norris' credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out.Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he’s roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it is so deadly to Superman.Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.When chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris's show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist, and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time.When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather, roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris kills anyone that asks, "You want fries with that" because by now everyone should know that Chuck doesn't ever want fries with anything. Ever.Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.Science Fact: Roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called Chucktanium.The Sherman tank was originaly called the Norris tank until Chuck Norris decided it wasn't tough enough to be associated with him. The Army, for fear of Chuck Norris, renamed the tank and promised to develop a weapon more fitting of his name. To date, no weapon created has been badass enough to be named after Chuck Norris.Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.Chuck Norris can divide by zero.Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his >closet for Chuck Norris.>Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.......
You Are Teal Green
You are a one of a kind, original person. There's no one even close to being like you.
Expressive and creative, you have a knack for making the impossible possible.
While you are a bit offbeat, you don't scare people away with your quirks.
Your warm personality nicely counteracts and strange habits you may have.>">
A • Q • U • A • R • I • U • S : The StrongestTrustworthy. Sexy. professional kissers. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Extremely energetic and funny. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Loves music. Not a Fighter, But will Knock the fuck out of u. The best and biggest freak in bed! Strong. Considered to be a "Spartan." The most intelligent. falls in love too easily. Doesn't show it but is easy to hurt.
You Are a Peacemaker Soul
You strive to please others and compromise anyway you can.
War or conflict bothers you, and you would do anything to keep the peace.
You are a good mediator and a true negotiator.
Sometimes you do too much, trying so hard to make people happy.
While you keep the peace, you tend to be secretly judgmental.
You lose respect for people who don't like to both give and take.
On the flip side, you've got a great sense of humor and wit.
You're always diplomatic and able to give good advice.
Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul, Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul
What Kind of Soul Are You?
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