Chuck Norris doesn't read books he stares them down until they give him the information wants.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice
Ghosts are caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than death can process them
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good lucks and un-paralleled marshal arts ability, shortly after the transaction was finalized Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back, the Devil... who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad for long and admits he should have seen it coming.... Chuck Norris and the Devil now play poker every second sunday of the month
Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collars, his shirts get erections when they touch his body
A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people, it is actually in fact a warning that spot belongs to Chuck Norris and u will be handicapped if u park there
Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all time and helped him win the 1983 world series of poker dispite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, a green number 4 from uno card, and a monopoly get out of jail free card
Chuck Norris 'CAN' touch MC-Hammer.
If it looks like chicken, smells like chicken, tastes like chicken, but Chuck Norris says its beef.... IT'S FUCKING BEEF!