-1/8/1992 Doug and Jesse are born following impregnation of Sean Connery. Connery panics, leaving them with a lioness in Djibouti during an exotic hunting excursion.
-6/1993 The U.S. government picks up the two children recognizing them as extremely kickass, potentially too kickass for the good of the planet. The boys are separated and integrated into random American families under the direct order of President Clinton. As fate would have it, Doug and Jesse end up in the same city.
-8/27/05 Jesse and Doug's paths finally cross, as they enter the 8th grade at Walnut Creek Middle School. They have every primary class together, resulting in contact 4 hours a day straight, 5 days a week. The two become butt buddies.
-11/06 After a year of intense homosexuality and badassery, they are driven by boredom on a particular evening to put lyrics to a collection of power chords Doug was hazily strumming on an acoustic guitar. And so it begins...
-3/07 Doug and Jesse, out of laziness, resort to writing music in place of completing and presenting legitimate research for a science class. The name CHARLES is finally coined, and the two begin formally creating music together.
-2/09 Jesse, having honed his guitar skills to a high degree, focuses slightly more on other musical works. Doug experiences butthurt.
-7/08 The pair begins writing once more, breaking down musical walls with their elaborately crafted and revolutionary Sonata in G.
Currently, the duo is writing music for their upcoming LP, "The CHARLES Tribute to Slim Shady and Han Solo." Finished tracks include:
-"We Fucking Rock
-"Double Gay"
-"Hold me Close and Call me Ginger"
-"Darth Vader is the Fucking Man"
-"Guitar Sonata in G Op. 1690"
