Blaine Reeder is a comedian who has pants and an all-over skin covering. As a childhood scientist, Blaine proposed the radical "cars-are-powered-by-pigs-on-a-treadmill-that-are-poked-in- the-butt-with-a-sharp-stick-attached-to-the-gas-pedal" theory of renewable energy. Blaine left science when threatened and subsequently silenced by Big Oil and the International Government of the World headed by his father.
Blaine is a land-owning white man who has never been to prison on his job applications. He is the Founder and President of Citizens For A Better Yesterday, whose members make sweeping societal changes by lying about what really happened. As such, Blaine has also served as the President of the United States since the year 2000.
An outspoken advocate for social justice, Blaine is working to end crime, homelessness and talking about feelings. More importantly, Blaine commands an army of talking cats in a secret war against really fat ninjas and robots from the future who look like Mexicans. Blaine is made out of radiation.
Blaine is married to a very pretty woman who makes no sense at all. Are you kidding me? That girl likes to yell "YOU'RE IMMATURE!" from the bathroom a LOT but Blaine can't hear her because he is hiding in a fort made out of blankets. Blaine pays taxes because he feels like it, not because someone told him to, and he is watching the government just as much as they are watching him and he doesn't care who knows it but don't tell the government, ok?
