My life story is filled with heart-stopping malice and EEEEVIILL!! I was once a pirate, sailing the seas and spreading my EEEVVILLL everywhere! Now I am just a skull and I do promotional work for a restaurant called Planet Threepwood.
Read on, fleshbag!
"Set sail for Planet Threepwood, where you can have buccaneer-style dining for an affordable price. SEE souvenirs from Guybrush Threepwood's most famous escapades! TASTE culinary delights approved by genuine pirate chefs! FEEL your soul being gently ripped from your body in this restaurant of uncompromising EEEEEEEVVVVILLL! Muhahahahahaha!"