So I have a Facebook account and the section 'about me' is funnier than this one... but I haven't written this one yet so let's just see how it rolls. Have you guys noticed the trend nowadays where people sing/talk with that non-committal monotone "Juno-esque" sort of cadence? I hate it. I think it might be what is wrong with the world. Is everyone too cool for their own britch? Is it uncool to speak with authority and direction of purpose? When people call me and have no purpose for calling me, I get off the phone in a hurry. Same thing should apply to the trend of speaking in that affected lackluster "I'm too cool to care about really talking beyond one pitch" sort of thing...I'm going to start saying "WELP, guess I'd better go..."
Facebook is the lamest piece of shit ever. You wanna know what I call it? Baby-Blue-Small-Font-For Communist. It's the opposite of Myspace. Myspace is like the slutty older sister who strips in Vegas at night but deals Blackjack tables during the day. Facebook is the wholesome reeking of a youth group girl who tattles on her peers for saying "shit." I have the damn account because people have given me so much shit for not having one for so long that I buckled down and got lamer. I'll always hate it out loud. Always. Oh, the worst thing...the fucking worst thing is the FLAIR. How fucking queer is it that Facebook's idea of customization is sending people FLAIR! Weak. Enough about that... Okay so you want to know about me? I believe I'm supposed to be living on my home planet but accidentally got ejected to this dump. I don't know that for certain but it's a solid theory. I often see things on a level that puts me in a weird head space. I was born in that weird head space and it does have a name but I'll save that for the auto-biography portion of my page. I've made a living being everything from a tap dancer, puppeteer, musician, and lastly the most notable thing is the voice-over. Everyone freaks over that shit. I do not freak over it. It is a'ight but I'm it is my voice and that is about 1/100th of what I've got to offer-in my huge ego-filled opinion. What is wrong with thinking you are the shit? Nothing. Nothing is wrong with that. You wanna know why? I'll tell you. It's because "as we thinketh, so are we." If you think you are a lump of shit, you are nothing short of a lump of shit. If you think you are great, you will be great. It's that simple. I have very little compassion for "races for cures," wearing ribbons for various levels of rot, etc.. Let me explain. I believe if you run for cancer, cancer will run you. If you wear a ribbon to remind you of some person who is sicker than a dog, then you are keeping them sick by emitting such focus to the sickness. We go on 5k runs for cures but what is it that we are focusing on the most as far as "terminology?" The disease. Let's rename those 5k runs: 5k Rot Trots... Instead we should have American Gladiator type events where each punching bag or large unwieldy object we need to push off a ledge is labeled: FUCK YOU-(insert the disease)... it would have a much better outcome as far as visualization of conquering an unseen rotting, scientifically speaking of course. Enough about rot. Hell, I'm probably rotting right now. In fact, I'll bet you money we all are. Let's see what else, hmmm... Oh, I drive a Caddie. A pimped out Cadillac that is so fucking righteous that I get pulled over at least 3 times a month due to racial profiling. I'm thinking about getting a car-cam so I can document the hate. It's hilarious. Not once have I been ticketed, not once. Wrapping up this long winded mouth-fart, I'd like to say that if you've read this far into the About Me section...we might have a relationship now. If you want to know more about me in a professional way or possibly a stalker type way, you can click on the linked-in icon below or go to IMDB. Tom Sawyer is outty-5000. Copy that?**ALSO: If you are curious about my professional life: www.imdb.com search under: Melodee LenzGet MySpace Layouts from nUCLEArcENTURy .COM OR create your own using MySpace profile editor !!!
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