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Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain... I definetly hate LOVE!Tell something about me... not the easiest part, i can tell ya. Nevermind, so i am 21(even if i feel sometimes like 12 and act like a 80 year old grandma). Friends say i am a loner, never wanna go outside to a party or when i am there i..ll soon wanna leave... I hate places where a big human bunch is crumpled, so everybody disturbes the other ones, i don..t like to speak up (especially for myself) so everybody thinks i am a boring person... they call me nice and very friendly and ever so helpful. I have sometimes the gift to see through peoples eyes, its like i see their soul (yeah i know -.- but nope i am not a psychodelic or take drugs)... so why am i here!? Like everybody i have the very strong wish to meet someone special or just friends...but for me this is a way to say "hi. here i am, don..t forget about me, will ya!" i am searching for THAT special person, a person that (maybe sometimes, strucked by faith and destiny)will read this and remember me...a person who is the other half of my soul, so my soul can get a rest from all the hurt and lies...to become happy! But maybe its not meant to be... but whatever way life will take, i..ll have to smile and accept just the way it is"
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