I made this myspace background at
I'm a modern man Digital and smoke-free A guy for the millennium A diversified, multi-cultural Post-modern deconstructionist Politically anatomically and ecologically incorrect I've been unlinked and downloaded I've been inputted and outsourced I know the upside of downsizing I know the downside of upgrading I'm high-tech low-life A cuttin-edge state-of-the-art Bi-coastal multi-tasker And I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond I'm new-wave but I'm old-school And my inner child is outward-bound I'm a hot-wired heat-seeking warm-heated cool customer voice-activated and bio-degradable I interface with my database My database is in cyberspace So I'm interactive I'm hyperactive And from time to time I'm radioactive Behind the eight ball ahead of the curve Ridin' the wave dodgin' the bullet pushin' the envelope I'm on the point on task on message And off drugs I've got no need for coke and speed I've got no urge to binge and purge I'm in the moment on the edge Over the top but under the radar A high-concept low-profile Medium-range ballistic missionary A street-wise smart bomb A top-gun bottom-feeder I wear power ties I tell power lies I take power naps I run victory laps I'm totally ongoing big foot slam-dunk Rainmaker with a pro-active outreach A raging workaholic a working rageaholic Out of rehab and in denial I've got a personal trainer A personal shopper A personal assistant And a personal agenda You can't shut me up You can't dumb me down 'Cause I'm tireless and I'm wireless I'm and alpha-male on beta-blockers I'm a non-believer I'm and over-achiever Laid-back and fashion-forward Up-front down-home Low-rent high-maintenance I'm high-definition fast acting Over-ready and built to last A hands-on footloose knee-jerk head case Prematurely post-traumatic And I have a love child who sends me hate-mail But I'm feeling I'm caring I'm healing I'm sharing A supportive bondin nurturing Primary-care giver
My output is down but my income is up I take a short position on the long bond And my revenue stream has its own cash flow I read junk mail I eat junk food I buy junk bonds I watch trash sports I'm gender-specific capital-intensive User-friendly and lactose-intolerant I like rough sex I like though love I use the f-word in my e-mail And the software on my hard drive is hard-core-- no soft porn I bought a microwave at a mini-mart A bought a mini-van at a mega-store I eat fast food in the slow lane I'm toll-free bite size ready-to-wear And I come in all sizes A fully equipped factory-authorized Hospital-tested clinically proven scientifically formulated medical miracle I've been pre-wash pre-cooked pre-heated Pre-screened pre-approved pre-packaged post-dated freeze-dried double-wrapped and vacuum-packed I'm a rude dude but I'm the real deal Lean and mean Cocked locked and ready to rock Rough tough and hard to bluff I take it slow I go with the flow I ride with the tide Ive got glide in my stride Drivin' movin' sailin' and spinnin' Juvin' and groovin' wailin' and winnin' I don't snooze so I don't lose I keep the pedal to the metal And the rubber on the road I party harty and lunchtime is crunch time I'm hangin' in there ain't no doubt And I'm hangin' tough --BTW I'm Roger Over and Out!--
So here is my plan to get rich 'quick'. Because really how much better would life be with tons of cash money!?
So first off i join a rock band, like a NJ big hair bar band. (jersey folk you know what I’m sayin') Then we become really big, big like we play Giant’s stadium (like Guns and Roses Paradise City video). Then I would have to bang every groupie that comes back stage(not that i want to, its just part of the plan). At the same time drink bottles of whiskey, like whole bottles(just like Slash).
Then after a few months, i start doing drugs, but i ain’t takin' stacker-2's ladies, i mean the real-deal hollyfield shite, like heroin in eye lids. Then all of a sudden, rock 'n' roll becomes "cheesy" again, and our band drops off the scene, like Cinderella(you know you miss that band).
I still do the heroin, but now i start doing porno, like good porn, not this Jenna Jameson shit, i talkin good ol' midget bangin'. They would call me the "Midget Marauder" (insert 'dom,dom,DOMMMMM!).
But then the heroin kills my ability to get a boner, and i would get fired from my midget porn world(its ok i'll be strong). After that my second wife would have left me with all 3 kids, all because of the boner problem(you know, that’s all girls think about). But then after being alone for 10 months i am completely broke(because the new coke habbit) and alone(because of the boner thing).
So I decide to write a book. It sells pretty well, but not well like "Everybody Poops" well, but not good..So here is when my master plan kicks in..I get enough money to buy a mask and a really big gun, big like Tackle Berry style(stay with me here). Then I go and rob a bank. BOOM!!! NOW I'm RICH! and I’m talking like Michael Jackson Never Never Land rich (he, heeee)..
and if you missed any of this, it will be documented on VH1's behind the music....
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