i'm Alex. i'm nearly 17. i don't go to school, but somehow i get credit. i write movies. i watch movies. i read books. i write parts of books. i daydream too much. i open up too easily, and find it too hard to trust anyone. sometimes i pretend to believe people when i really don't. sometimes i hold back when i want to throw myself forward. sometimes i feel so much i think i'm going to explode. sometimes i don't feel anything, and it makes me crazy. apparently my life is uncommon. sometimes i wonder how i'll make it if things don't turn out the way i want them to, but i've felt that way forever and things are better than i've ever imagined they could be. sometimes i want to grow up and sometimes i want to hold on. i've learned to smile when i remember stuff, and not cry because it's over. i've learned to take changes and do stuff so you have something to look back on and smile at, because crying because it's over is a lot better than crying because it never happened. i've learned to believe the future will be okay, and to accept it will be different from all the good stuff you've ever known. music makes me feel things i can't describe. physically, but i guess it's actually emotional. the same way great lines in movies do, and the first boy to ever tell me i was pretty did.
i like riding shotgun in a convertible going really fast, playing loud music and headed towards the beach.
more later.
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