shitty

I enjoy eating cigarette cellophane and then crapping it out later. I find that it connects one shit to another. I have connected as many as four turds together at once. A glorious day! I find these result to be very pleasing and I know you do too. Listen. I want to give a bit of advice, to the novices out there. You only want to eat the stringy part of the cellophane. The piece that you use to open the pack with. I cannot stress this enough. One time I ate the ENTIRE upper portion of the cellophane. When it came time to crap, the stringy part made it out OK. Everything was great. But then it came time to sqeeze out the rest of it. This part really sucked. I have a very tiny asshole. Because, I myself, am a very, tiny kitty. I couldn't get the dam thing out. BUT I did manage to move the rest of the contents in my bowls. Unfortunately, the turds behind the plastic lost there nice cylindery shape. They were mangled by the poop-hole-blocking cellophane. The rest of my movement came out like soft ice cream. Not much of it, made it's way to my litter box either. The poop set up shop in my ass fur. I tried dragging my ass on the carpet a few times but that only seeemed to make matters worse. I started freaking out. I'm not the kind of cat that gets dingleberry's. That's somebody else's kitty. Not me. I was forced to stand in front of my owner, ass facing her, meowing for about ten minutes before she finally noticed what was going on. I was like, "What you can't smell this? How long before you catch wind of the disaster area under my tale?" She actually had, to pull, the rest of the packaging from my ass. I was like, "Here! This is what I think of American Spirits!" I'm kidding, I love those cigarettes. Anyway, worse then her pulling things out of my ass, I had to be washed. In WATER! I think I liked my fur candy better. So, don't eat the whole thing is what I'm trying to tell you.