Death's Mistress

Name's Jess. I want to be covered with badass tattoos one day. I only have 3. I'm still working on the whole being covered thing. I am a sweetheart on the inside, and definently a bitch on the outside. I am a Gamer. It's my most favorite past time and now time. Stupid people are the biggest waste of my time. I am still in love with my ex and working really hard to make things work. I wake up every day a little before 4am to make my dad his coffee and fix his sandwich for his lunch. We drink a cup of java together every morning. I enjoy coffee alot, but it sort of makes me super-wired. I don't drink or do hard drugs anymore. I do smoke Mary Jane. She is one of my closest friends and has never done me wrong. I toke with her often and we both love every second of it. My best friend is a gorgeous grey cat named Crazy Parrotbug. He lives in Tennessee along with my other bestfriend V. V is super nice, when she's not pissed. We have pulled each other outta some crazy situations that belong on a fucking sitcom. She's the biggest trooper I've ever met in my life. Venice is known for making things work when they seem damn near impossible. I am the biggest SPAZ you will ever meet! I love my hair really big. I'm talking BIG. It get's pretty fucking ridiculous now days. Sometimes I go on strike and don't brush or condition it for weeks. If you don't believe me, ask Tiff. Tiff is one of my favorites. She always picks me up, dusts me off, and chucks me back into the real world. Not that you would know because she wouldn't give 99% of you the time of day! Haha. She's known for making the perfect coffee...that is not a joke. I still can't figure out how she does it. I love fabulous bag designers. I love Prada. Prada bags are so fly that they shouldn't be legal. I just recently retired a pink Prada bag. Now we all know that Prada doesn't make that many pink items, so I was a very lucky girl to have her. I have replaced her with two new Prada babies and one Chanel baby that I love dearly. I haven't let someone touch my hair since I was in the 8th grade. I used to be the "chubby cute girl" and I hated myself for that. I'm now athletic and I love working out. I'm mostly a runner. I used to be addicted to Dew. I only drink my bottled water and Diet Lipton Green Tea with Mixed Berry now. Funny thing is I hate all other kinds of tea...they are disgusting. I love blunts. I love really big, big-boy BONGS! I LOVE CHINA BUFFET! Good sushi is always a plus. I love to pole dance. It is an amazing art. Your everyday, average person usually gets on my nerves. I am very compassionate for my close friends and family. I will do anything and everything for the ones that I love at no charge. For example, I used to do all of Kevin and Venice's laundry every few weeks. Why? Because I love them both and that's what friends do lol. Plus they both hate doing laundry. I wonder who does their laundry now? Hehe. Anyways back to about muah. If I don't like you I will punch you in your face. Literally. I used to take people's bullshit, but I got tired of being treated like dog poo. I will forgive you as long as you heartfeltfully apologize. You shit on me a second time and I will cut you out of my family and forget about you forever. I don't play no more. And if you do something REALLY fucked up I won't even accept your apology or give you a second chance...I'll just boot you. I am a fighter. If you can't put your fists where your mouth is, then shut your fucking trap. I love comic books. I recently got into politics. Currently I just got done reading every American President's whitehouse.gov biography. Did you know Bush Senior was Director of the C.I.A.? I am definently gonna vote this year. I'm really fucking excited about it too. I'm still deciding who I'm voting for. I heart heavy metal. My favorite band in the whole wide world is QUEEN. My other favorite band is Killswitch Engage. When I see them in concert I am going to ask Howard Jones to marry me. I'll be right up front and his sweat will be drippin all over and he'll be screamin melodically and I'll be in absolute bliss. I love to play pool alot. I also love to go bowling. I love to read. I love to swim during the summer. Hi-yah!!! I only like pools though. All the other kind of water sort of freaks me out. I have a younger sister who is 15 and is a fucking super hero. I've never met anyone that does more shit in high school than she does and still makes straight A's and somehow finds the time to smoke pot and hold a job on the weekend. My mom is an intelligent redneck. My dad is a macho 80's hair metal guy. I'm going to be a multi-millionaire one day. I love antique car shows. I love the night life even as a sober person. You don't have to be fucked up to have a kick ass time. I like to swing poi with shoe strings and glowsticks. I have 9 piercings...2 of which are gaged to a zero. I love nerds for some odd reason. I love Star Wars probably more than any normal human being should. Christians are breathing all of my damned oxygen up and it aggravates me because they aggravate me. I have a really, really bad heel fetish. My closest has probably close to 45 pairs now. I hate going out in public looking ugly. I rarely ever meet anyone fabulous. I live in Seven Hills in Henderson, Nevada. Don't be jealous just because I have lighted palm trees with a pool and a hot tub. I drive a dark green Dodge Ram that's really big. Her name is Heidi. I have a horse. He is way more gorgeous and generous than your multi-million dollar tub of glue. I have changed alot in the past 4 monthes. I have lived everywhere. That is not an exaggeration. I am sarcastic and blunt all the time. My favorite holiday is Halloween. My favorite color is green, even though I can't wear that color for shit. I want to have my own chain of salons in the hottest spots all over the United States. I can't wait until I'm the old lady that lives with her grumpy best friends with a billion cats and puts hot pennies on the local neighborhood kid's hands when they hold out their grubby little fingers and say "trick-or-treat". I'll add more on here when it pops up in my head. I think I got the jist of it though.