Jack Butterscotch profile picture

Jack Butterscotch

About Me

Jack Butterscotch is the name. I like the simple things in life: Pussy, flying high as a kite and clocking as much dough as I can...and now that I've acquired the taste for human flesh (after chowing on a cannibal in self defense), sex with me will blow your fucking mind and quite frankly, you might not even survive. I've been treasure hunting as far back as I can remember and I'm a master at it. I was living the good life until the Cabal (secret organization that runs the entire world) got the much-rumored-about God Phone in their sites. If they actually manage to get it, they'll be unstoppable and it's now up to me to stop them. They already tore my dad limb from limb, gang banged my temp and they'll stop at nothing to get their dirty paws on the God Phone. But just because I gotta save the world doesn't mean I'm not going to slather as much Butterscotch across this planet's big fat ass as possible. Don't let the Cabal ruin things. Keep the party train rolling, my people! For more on the saga, watch the episodes below...

My Blog

Episode 10 Is UP!!

Happy 2008! I'm back with a vengeance in the new episode of Treasure Trail. This time, I'm gettin' weird in Jerusalem before duking it out in the Turkish Baths. Only 2 more episodes til the grand fina...
Posted by on Tue, 22 Jan 2008 21:20:00 GMT

New Discovery

After midnight, I get into some weird shit on the internet. No joke here.
Posted by on Mon, 23 Jul 2007 01:35:00 GMT

Fuckin' Aint Noise Pollution

Yeah, you've been listening to Kansas all day when you've been itching for Too Fast For Love by the Crue, but you take what you can get in the Forbidden Fuzz Jungles. You're dizzy from the fever that ...
Posted by on Sun, 15 Jul 2007 19:54:00 GMT

Somebody Get Me A Doctor

I've had this cut on my foot from the Patagonian Steppes that still hasn't healed. It's swollen with some pus, but it doesn't hurt too much. Is there some kinda Myspace doctor section where I can vi...
Posted by on Sat, 14 Jul 2007 17:11:00 GMT

Movin On UP

I judged the 10th annual 'Locals Only' grease paint bikini BBQ down here in Tanzania Sunday night and you haven't lived until you've seen 300,000 Tanzanians chanting 'Snatch Patch!' in Kiswahili. Woke...
Posted by on Wed, 11 Jul 2007 10:46:00 GMT

Gotta go to sleep.

I'm going to get hammered for Independence Day. My favorite stunt is to find British broads and invite them to a gold old fashioned Boston tea-bag party. I'm a Jeffersonian Democrat.
Posted by on Tue, 03 Jul 2007 23:33:00 GMT