I'm very competative with myself and not really with others If I see that I can do something I try my hardest to do it better and thats why I hurt myself alot. I've nearly killed myself doing things that most people wonder, why Alex why, and I just do. I go with the now and sometimes don't look back and ask myself did that really happen, For example my marriage, I knew from the start she wasn't the one for me but I still got married and ended up getting heartbroken the worst way possible. At times I look back and think of the things I've done and say wow I do remember that, but the only reason I did them was to prove to others that I was tough and liked the reputation I had which was being a total idiot. A friend told me the other day that when we were kids I shugged down 2 Miller Lites like as if they were water bottles and I honestly don't remember that but I was crazy enough to that. I know this doesn't mean much to who ever is reading this but I went thru alot growing up. Living in a strick home where I couldn't go out much or stay out late, always getting put down and then being mocked for my skin pigmentation but you know something all that made me stronger thru out the years and made me realize one thing, I can surpass all these obstacles and move on with my life and not take shit from anyone. So thats what I've been doing all these years that I've been on my own.. .. ..
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