Captain Morris and the Banana Gang

About Me

My Name is Richard Henry Morris the 3rd. It's the most powerful name, on that whole "If I were a King, you'd all be my wenches, chefs, toilet boys, and/or Queen" Standpoint! I think you know where I'm coming from! A Lot of people won't admit it, but when it comes to humor, I'm known to be able to point out some funny people. Me? Nah, Don't Be CREAHAZY! I've got that dry, witty humor that's only funny if you're paying attention. If I have to repeat the dry sarcastic comment, it's not as funny! So PAY ATTENTION, Not just to me, but to everyone...and hey, since your PAYING attention, go ahead and PAY IT FORWARD! I was born a baby, and I'm not that much of an athlete, but when it comes to playing, I help my team by distracting our opponents with Sportscenter jokes or playing whatever sport in a flesh colored body suit. When I'm in the body suit, we usually win, because the other team forfeits. These are all true stories I've made up, so please enjoy anything and everything I say! I will tell the truth sometimes, but you know what I'll do those othertimes? I WON'T tell the truth. You know why because it's myspace...do you really care? Ofcourse you do, because your mind is weak and you love watching shows like the Real World, Next, Blind Date, Hannah Montana, Suite Life of those Twin boys from Big Daddy. You conform! I know i did! Ever since my first episode of Pooh Bear, I've always wanted Honey! 37% of my showers, I use Honey to shave with.I'm an amazing person to go to the movies with! I will do whatever you want when we get to the theatre. If you want to make sarcastic comments in the theatre, I'm right there with you, but if you want to shut up and enjoy the film with reverance, I'm there for ya! If we do make comments and someone shooshes us, don't worry I'll stand up for you! But if i'm in a movie and someones talking, I don't shoosh. Shooshing is so pointless! Have you ever heard someone go SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!? I gurantee you, they make more noise than you were. It's so arrogant. No I don't shoosh, i wait in the parking lot and get into tickle fights with them! It's the only way to truly win.I gurantee you that the war would be over, if G.W. found Osama and they got into a tickle fight! Have you ever gotten into a tickle fight with someone? It's like everything goes away, because laughter overtakes everything. I had these friends who were lost at sea and my one buddy, Gerard saw that Jeffey was freaking out, because they were gonna drown at sea. So Gerard starts ticking Jeffey like crazy, they both forgot they were lost at sea, because they were laughing. They laughed so hard they didn't even notice the shark that ate them both! It's true what they say...LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE.I Love Taco Bell! YUM! I Love watching Movies! I'm at my church....ALOT! I have friends. I like to read...RARE. Cooking is Fun. Legal Pads are quite Intimidating! What about Illegal Pads? If you have never drank a protein shake from a GOBLET, you haven't truly experienced God (join the PAC SON GOBLET CLUB)

My Interests

Movies, Music, Living a Life of Love

I'd like to meet:

Dr. Seuss, Einstein (the genius, not the guy who makes the bagels), a talking polar bear, someone who enjoys building towers out of random food objects (bananas, oreos, jenga wood chunks, spinach), Will Ferrel, Dane Cook (to slap him and yell, "NOT FUNNY"), Tupac, Pootie Tang, a robot, Harrison Ford, a kung fu monkey, Frankenstein, Thom Yorke, Moby, Arnold Schwarzenegger (yeah it's spelled right.) I'd really like to hang out with the Alien and the Predator one day. Just like on seperate days, so we don't get into a tussel. A Real Luchador, a fake luchador, Morrissey, Owen Wilson, Owen Wilson's Nose, Ben Stiller, Tom Cruise, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Ricky Gervais, the real santa claus (no not you tim allen), the ice cream man who always wanted me to climb inside his truck, a friendly crack dealer, a giant oreo, I've met Jesus (He lives inside my heart), Yoda, The Pink Panther, Hugh Jackman, Kurt Russel, I don't even want to meet tim allen ever...i don't care if i did used to love Tool Time. Pete's Dragon, Puff the Magic Dragon, Tupac again, just to make sure he is still alive, E.T., an invisible man, a human cyborg, a model train enthusiast, someone who ate paintchips as a kid, my shadow, my lost twin brother, Mike Meyers, Jim Carrey, Rachel Weisz, Kate Winslet, Cap'n Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters, Postman Nancy, Bucky Goldstein, a cashier at Albertson's who tells me about their day, Ben and Jerry, Tom and Jerry, Reese (thank him for his peanut butter cups), Jamie Kennedy ( just to ask, WHY?) and finally, I would love to meet ME and 6, 9, and 12!

Music:

Coldplay, Radiohead, Polyphonic Spree, Ryan Adams, Foo Fighters, Smashing Pumpkins, The Shins, Ray Lamontagne, John Mayer, The Verve, U2, Air, Arcade Fire, Beach Boy David Bowie, Sufjan Stevens, The Cure, R.E.M., Death Cab for Cutie, The Beta Band, Billy Joel,Manchester Orchestra, The Redwalls, Earth Wind and Fire, TuPac, Bob Dylan, The Smiths, Morrissey, Mae, MUSE, Sigur Ros, CCR, Chicago, Herbie Hancock, David Foster, White Stripes,

Movies:

My Son Watches Grey's (My Son Is Gay) (A LITTLE INSIDE, I KNOW)Mr. and Mr. Smith (Movie Trailer)Making a Difference.Richie's Random Video!!! (You Might Not Get it, but I Love It!)Frisbee...(Enjoy the Uniforms)Mr. No Fun (OLD SCHOOL VIDEO) You'll LOVE IT!!!David and Richie Eating for FUELCHIPOTLE BURRITO COMPETITIONAt the Races Fuel StyleBeating Heart Baby!!!

Television:

LOST, The Office, 30 Rock, Rob and Big, SNL, Family Guy, Extras, Flight of the Conchords.

Books:

Into the Wild, I Am Legend, Martian Child, Fight Club, The Bible, Catcher and the Rye, High Fidelity, Farenheirt 451

Heroes:

Richard Gere's a real Hero of mine....STING, the music he's created. I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that! Jesus, My Dad, My Uvula (long story involving cheese pizza and orange juice.) If movies were true, Arnold, Bruce, not sylvester stallone, because he only boxes and arm wrestles. KURT RUSSEL, Spielberg, Tom Cruise (he puts invisible fires out with his witchcraft)