I learned everything about driving a boat on the Saratoga, before that mishap, which I had nothing to do with. It was an unfortunate turn of events, but HEY! We learn and move on. Right?
Now I'm here to teach you how to sail. By the time we're through, you'll know the difference between a mizzen mast and a Monopoly board. I will teach you the importance of safety on the seas and how to avoid some of those 'unfortunate mishaps', such as pirates, guerillas, lost passports, broken compasses, seized-up engines, and other chains of events that might occur. I'll even throw in a few dance lessons in exchange for a brewsky.
Oh, yeah - and don't forget to bring your boat. Mine is out of commission at the moment. Had to take care of a little dry rot problem, if you know what I mean. Anyway, let's get out on the ocean and see how it goes. Let's kick the tires and light the fire. If anything's gonna happen, it's gonna happen out there!
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