jj - ProfilesArchive

Food for Thought

The Contents of my Refrigerator (from memory): Shredded Parmesan Cheese Cottage Cheese Swiss Cheese Yoplait Light Yogurt Cups Milk Sliced Turkey Breast Radishes 2 Brown Eggs 1 Anchor Steam 1/2 Bottle ...
Posted by jj on Fri, 28 Sep 2007 11:45:00 PST

There IS a GoD

Today at the grocery store I made two very important discoveries, Kraft now makes a 50% whole wheat Mac 'n Cheese and Orowheat now makes a "mini" loaf of bread. I'm ecstatic! ...
Posted by jj on Wed, 26 Sep 2007 09:32:00 PST

Good Judge of Character?

Some might disagree, but I think the nature of one's myspace profile is an indicator of one's character. To be a myspace slut reflects one's true nature. To flirt on myspace is to flirt in real l...
Posted by jj on Wed, 18 Apr 2007 06:37:00 PST

B.ay A.rea D.erby Girls' March 31 Bout CANCELLED

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASEFor details, contact:Messy JessyPublic Relations DirectorB.ay A.rea D.erby Girls, [email protected] A.rea D.erby Girls' March 31 Bout CAN...
Posted by jj on Fri, 30 Mar 2007 08:13:00 PST

No More MySpace at Work

I'm going to try really hard NOT to log onto MySpace while at work. The company for which I work recently decided to block everyone from personal email accounts and other so-called security risk websi...
Posted by jj on Tue, 30 May 2006 12:20:00 PST

Alien Wall Goo

This is true: Today I saw a car with nipple rings. I often see stars while in the shower. The ice cubes in my freezer disappear. My bathroom walls ooze a strange pink alien wa...
Posted by jj on Mon, 03 Apr 2006 12:00:00 PST

Late Night Turd Salad (I mean Word Salad)

I have this maddening craving for chocolate milk right now. But it is 12:43am and there is not a store within walking distance that is open at this hour. It was a typical Saturday. Waking up at noon w...
Posted by jj on Sun, 02 Apr 2006 12:42:00 PST

Dinner is Served

Oh man! Did I get cheated! I only got two shrimp in my pad thai. There are always three. Why weren't there three. There are ALWAYS three. Something's not right. Maybe the planets are in retrograde. Ma...
Posted by jj on Mon, 27 Mar 2006 08:23:00 PST

Defining Moments (abridged)

at 3 1/2 I was a ballerinaat 5 I was a brownieat 8 I started piano lessonsat 10 I was in a bike gangat 12 I started my periodat 13 I was a Bat Mitzvahat 14 I had my braces removedat 15 I started drivi...
Posted by jj on Tue, 10 Jan 2006 09:32:00 PST