Mmm...Michael profile picture

Mmm...Michael

I wouldn't give my troubles to a monkey on a rock.

About Me


"No wonder kids grow up crazy. A cat's cradle is nothing but a bunch of X's between somebody's hands, and little kids look and look and look at all those X's..."
"And?"
"No damn cat, and no damn cradle."
- Kurt Vonnegut
One of the questions I get [VERB PAST TENSE] a lot is “Can you [VERB] us about your life?” Sure! I grew up in an [ADJECTIVE] town called [NONSENSE WORD]. It’s an [ADJECTIVE] place to visit, but you wouldn’t want to [VERB] there! (Actually, I [VERBED] there twice, once with [NAME OF PERSON IN ROOM] and another time with [THAT PERSON’S SISTER] and their [MOM]).
Eventually, I went to [PLACE] where I earned my Bachelor’s [NOUN] in filmmaking. It was an [ADJECTIVE] time, and I made a lot of [PLURAL NOUNS, MANY OF THEM JEWISH] there.
Soon it was time to join the real world and get a [NOUN]. I went to [VERB] for a company called [NONSENSE WORD] (Whose motto is the very memorable [SOMETHING STUPID]). I worked there for [NUMBER] years and made [NOT A LOT] of money.
But now I’m [VERB –ING] new things and have moved to [PLACE]. It’s always [ANOTHER WORD FOR SMOGGY] here. But don’t [VERB], after I become rich and famous, I’ll definitely remember all the little people, and be sure to [NO, I PROBABLY WON’T].

My Interests

Film making, Editing, Web Designing, Poor Guitar Playing, Writing, Acting, Reading, TV Staring, Scrutinizing, Snacking, Procrastinating, Making Myself Laugh, Spell Checking, Ebaying, Myspacing, Craigslisting, Improvising

I'd like to meet:

Make me laugh, score 50 points. Laugh with me, double your score. Wear glasses, give yourself another 30 points. Sixty if you're also a brunette. Triple it if you're wearing flip flops and dark polish. Quote some TMBG or Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett or Kurt Vonnegut, or hell, Joss Whedon - you'll need a few extra pages on that score pad. Mr. Show fans get triple word score. Of course, all of this requires doing math, and that is likely to make me wildly unpopular.

Music:

Mike Viola, The Candy Butchers, Guster, XTC, Fountains of Wayne, They Might Be Giants, Monopuff, Dan Bern, Sam Roberts, Bleu, Steve Burns, Ok Go, David Holmes, Freedy Johnston, Michelle Lewis

Movies:

Royal Tenenbaums, The Hudsucker Proxy, Rushmore, The Limey, Life of Brian, Miller's Crossing, Office Space, Memento, Night of the Hunter, The Usual Suspects, The Life Aquatic, Out of Sight

Television:

Arrested Development, Veronica Mars, Lost, Venture Brothers, Home Movies, Rescue Me, The Shield, Buffy, The Office, Mr. Show, Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends, Letterman, Ed, CSI, Simpsons, Angel, Firefly, Alias, Sopranos

Books:

The Long Dark Tea Time of the Soul, Devil in the White City, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Good Omens, American Gods, Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers, A Confederacy of Dunces, Harry Potter, Breakfast of Champions

Heroes:

Dude! You're 100% from Massachusetts!

Dude! Me and Sully and Fitzie and Sean are gonna hit Landsdowne tonight after the game, hang out at the Beerworks. I'll pick you up at the Coop at 6.

How Massachusetts are you?

My Blog

Listen my children and you shall hear...

There is a building directly behind my apartment that, up until a few days ago, I wasn't sure actually sustained any human life. The windows on all of the apartments are barred (in comparison, none of...
Posted by Mmm...Michael on Mon, 21 May 2007 04:40:00 PST

The Carl Buddig Experience: Day 3

It all began because I wanted a sandwich.Recently, I was talked into foregoing my usual deli-meat selections and opting instead for one of the local grocery chains' pre-sliced deli-meat packages. ...
Posted by Mmm...Michael on Fri, 02 Mar 2007 07:41:00 PST

A Recent Study

In a recent survey of two people who happened to be sitting at the table with me during dinner revealed something I've long hoped to prove:Two out of two females feel I'm the perfect guy.I know many o...
Posted by Mmm...Michael on Wed, 07 Feb 2007 08:56:00 PST

Adult Entertainment

Three Pornographic Films I Recently Conceived, Including Their Premises and TitlesA Nun forsakes her vows for the sins of the flesh, with 3 simultaneous partners (TITLE: The Holey Trinity)An all night...
Posted by Mmm...Michael on Fri, 02 Feb 2007 10:38:00 PST

Avert your eyes

Up until about 15 minutes ago, I maintained that the most disturbing thing on television were the animated bears who advertise Charmin bathroom tissue.  This was achieved through a series of spot...
Posted by Mmm...Michael on Sun, 28 Jan 2007 08:52:00 PST

From my face I am Mr. Nice Guy

I'm certainly not one to fault anybody for being random.  I am, after all, the guy who convinced his sister that, for the duration of a vacation in Orlando, she smelled like her hotel pillow.But ...
Posted by Mmm...Michael on Sat, 11 Nov 2006 01:00:00 PST

I now have an apartment

I now have an apartmentLos Angeles: The first 30 daysAt the insistence of multiple in my top 82, I thought it best to post an update on my apartment hunting adventure.It's over.  I have one. But ...
Posted by Mmm...Michael on Sun, 24 Sep 2006 11:12:00 PST

I really am writing a comic

While it lasts, you can still click on the press link below:http://www.1up.com/do/newsStory?cId=3152267And scroll to the middle - check out Arcana.That's ME! (And Justin. Mostly Justin. But still M...
Posted by Mmm...Michael on Mon, 07 Aug 2006 09:18:00 PST

Hooray for funn!

I suffered for two days to put this together.Now it's your turn.http://www.hoorayforfunn.com/Vlogs.php(If it doesn't load, choose "Last Day of Spring")...
Posted by Mmm...Michael on Fri, 04 Aug 2006 09:00:00 PST

Having gone through the trouble of typing

And thinking it made for a crappy bulletin, I'll simply paste this here, hoping I shall be absolved of answering further surveys....(The Poorly Titled)  Autobiographical Survey(Honestly, any seri...
Posted by Mmm...Michael on Sun, 09 Jul 2006 03:37:00 PST