Uncle Colenzo profile picture

Uncle Colenzo

I am here for Friends

About Me

aimless, restlessOh man. I am a total mess. I look like Dumbo had a one night stand with a lightbulb and when I smile, it looks like a cross between Jaws and Troy McLure in The Muppets Go Medieval. I'm not the shiniest apple on the tree, but I still possess enough intelligence to dress and feed myself and hold down a job. Admittedly, my performance in each of those areas probably leaves something to be desired. But hey, none of this really matters since North Korea will probably have the kinks in its rockets fixed soon. Now let's all grab some cotton candy and hit the ferris wheel! Who's with me?

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Lovers, buggers and thieves. Zamboni drivers. Richard Nixon, the most beautiful loser of all. I'd also like to have some cheeseburgers, fries and a couple of Cherry Cokes with Vincent Price. Oh yeah, and if you're some hoochie-mama 19-21 year old who only wants to be my friend on this MySpace contraption so I'll look at your bikini pictures or go to your porncam website or something...LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!! I'm not interested.

My Blog

R.I.P. Rizzo/Touched by a rat Pt. 2

If you read my last blog, you know the story of the dead rat that I found.  I had intended to go back the next day to bury it, but for whatever reason didn't make it.  Another couple of days...
Posted by on Sun, 26 Nov 2006 11:00:00 GMT

Touched by a rat

As I walked from the South End to the Fenway area yesterday I came across a dead rat on the sidewalk.  I think it was lying on its side.  It's mouth was open.  It was all alone. Now mos...
Posted by on Thu, 28 Sep 2006 16:30:00 GMT

Monday night neck sweat (shitty poetry)

And the architechts Of academe They design A golden beam Of hillside living And mindful dreams On young blood giving And well built screams
Posted by on Mon, 10 Jul 2006 19:58:00 GMT

A mystical cab ride with strangers

Me and two other strangers just stood or sat waiting at a bus stop for over an hour to no avail.  The bus gods totally turned a fuckin' blind eye to us.  Fortunately, I nodded off through mu...
Posted by on Fri, 26 May 2006 01:37:00 GMT

"Zen Arcade" and the art of wisdom teeth extraction

So I had my 2 bottom wisdom teeth taken out about 3 weeks ago.  When I went for my consultation about 3 weeks before that, Dr. Lorente (who was amazing and who I would recommend to anyone who's g...
Posted by on Thu, 23 Mar 2006 11:51:00 GMT

I saw 2 sea monkeys fucking today

The circle of life continues...or something.
Posted by on Thu, 09 Feb 2006 12:44:00 GMT

Christmas songs make me want to eat a gun

There is a radio in the lobby at work.  Unfortunately, (as with most radio stations) since 5PM on Thanksgiving day it has done very little but inundate the ears of every species in its proxi...
Posted by on Thu, 15 Dec 2005 01:53:00 GMT