Two First's - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Just moved to Lincoln, CA from Anchorage, AK to pursue a career in the golf industry. Don't freak out now cause I know it sounds exciting and all. Time spent with me is never dull since I'm not good looking, not funny, and very boring. I also don't smoke, drink, or cuss.... oh shit wait I do drink. Well 2 outta 3 ain't bad I always say. My and my boys hit up BJ's a lot so you might see the Catta Verdera crew there with their heads on the tables too intoxicated to move. Please help us, for we know not what we do... or something like that. Lived in Alaska most of my life, with college in Hawai'i. You could say I'm multicultural while others might say I'm just an idiot. You decide."I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you're in midair, you still hit those brakes! Hey, better try the emergency brake!"

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My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Honestly I'd love to meet people in the area of Roseville, Rocklin, and Lincoln since thats my area of expertise. You don't have to be a super model or even good looking cause all I wanna do is have a few beers and talk story. Hit me up if you're in the area maybe we can talk about astrophysics and whosiwhatsits.
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Music:

G Love and Special Sauce

Movies:

Gotta go with the Matrix series, Iron Monkey, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Usual Suspects, Snatch, The Princess Bride, Labrynth, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Primal Fear, Predator, and the greatest Kung-fu movie of all time... The Return of the 5 Deadly Venoms.

Television:

The Office, Rob and Big, Family Guy, Sienfeld

Books:

Definately Einstiens Dreams, Lonesome Dove Quadrilogy, Michal Cricton books, Clive Cussler books and Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy.

Heroes:

Master Shake, Frylock, and Meatwad.
Your Superhero Persona by couplandesque
Your Name
Superhero Name Butt-Man
Super Power Incredible Stamina
Enemy The Landlord
Mode Of Transportation Shopping Cart
Weapon Condoms

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My Blog

Harvard Grad Speech

This is not the Worcester, Mass Boat Show, is it? I am sorry. I have made a terrible mistake. Ever since I left "Saturday Night Live," I mostly do public speaking now. And I must have made an error in...
Posted by Two First's on Fri, 27 Jul 2007 05:19:00 PST

26 September 1907

The world will end on 26 September 1907. Everyone knows it. In Berne, it is just as in all cities and towns. One year before the end, schools close their doors. Why learn for the future, with so brief...
Posted by Two First's on Sat, 21 Jul 2007 11:16:00 PST

Time flows like water

In this world, time is like a flow of water, occasionally displaced by a bit of debris, a passing breeze. Now and then, some cosmic disturbance will a cause a rivulet of time to turn away from the mai...
Posted by Two First's on Fri, 20 Jul 2007 11:11:00 PST

Suppose time is a circle

Suppose time is a circle, bending back on itself. The world repeats itself, precisely, endlessly. For the most part, people do not know they will live their lives over. Traders do not know that they w...
Posted by Two First's on Wed, 18 Jul 2007 07:28:00 PST

A place where time stands still

There is a place where time stands still. Raindrops hang motionless in air. Pendulums of clocks float mid-swing. Dogs raise their muzzles in silent howls. Pedestrians are frozen on the dusty streets, ...
Posted by Two First's on Tue, 17 Jul 2007 03:51:00 PST

Good Shit

Andy Rooney said on "60 Minutes" a few weeks back: I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things...
Posted by Two First's on Thu, 12 Jul 2007 12:29:00 PST

A few rules of thumb

Been down and out a bit lately for a few reasons, the main being that I'm no longer with my girl anymore. It sucks so if you have a girl then read these carefully and abide by them. Best a...
Posted by Two First's on Fri, 01 Jun 2007 12:20:00 PST

Booty Calls

BOOTY CALL AGREEMENTCurrent mood: mischievousBOOTY CALL AGREEMENTThis pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement")is entered into on the _____day of __________, 2007,by_______...
Posted by Two First's on Wed, 09 May 2007 03:17:00 PST

My top 8

Top 81.Michel2.Jamie3.Brian4.Jake5.Miller6.Zeke7.Colin8.The RickNumber 11. How long have you known this person?2 years2. What's one thing you like about this person?She's just the most won...
Posted by Two First's on Sat, 05 May 2007 02:59:00 PST

New Rules

The Guys' RulesAt last a guy has taken the time to write this all downFinally, the guys' side of the story.(I must admit, it's pretty good.)We always hear "the rules"From the female side.Now here are ...
Posted by Two First's on Thu, 06 Jul 2006 09:50:00 PST