Eric [fell asleep in the incline]

I am a Boston Red Sox fan
I am a very important person.
I can name any song by hearing only the first 3 seconds
I buy Vitamin Water in cases
I never shave, period
I drink way too much (its tragic, but i'm sobering up)
I have a gambling problem (at inappropriate times)
I love the smell of gasoline and sunblock
I read magazines from back to front
I often use big words quite often in substitution for semantically equivalent words.
I have allergies (really fucking bad)
Extremely sarcastic (at inappropriate times)
Very condescending (at inappropriate times)
I am capable of the kind of love that only the intoxicated can speak of
I air guitar every song
I quote movies all the way through them
I call everyone out as often as possible
I love ruining other peoples jokes
I am terrified of Birds
I am never serious
I was specially bred for the cover pages of magazines
I am capable of the most terrible things
when I wrap my arms around you, I mean it
when I'm too drunk to stay up with you, I mean it
when I slam doors because I'm pissed at you, I mean it.
I love it when someone sleeps on my back
I eat just the cookie dough out of cookie dough ice cream and leave most of the actual ice cream.
I often times bust out in Simpsons trivia (at inappropriate times)
i'm the real thing with low-key sensibilities
i don't need what i've got half as much as everyone covets it