THINGS EVERYBODY LOVES... THAT I HATE.
***Michael Jordan. Dude's an asshole.
***Myspace... haha... what am I doing?
***Panda Express - It's just NOT good.
***MTV... Except for Wild 'N Out.
***The Goodyear Blimp. It doesn't even have tires!!!
***Condoms... Fuck Condoms, Pre-Marital Sex Is The Shit, Get 'Em Pregnant, Get 'Em Pregnant, Get 'Em Pregnant.
***I've said it once, and I'll say it again. Little Asian kids are FUCKING awful.
***Chuck Woolery and Roger Lodge... 'nuff said.
***I'm a pretty hateful person... there will be more soon.
THINGS I KNOW:
***Manny, Nixon, and Dex are the best friends a guy could ever have.
***Tim Mazzone is not gay, but it would make my life a lot easier if he came out of the closet
***Jenny Gervino's a class A bitch. But her boobs make up for it.
***When God created joy and happiness the Devil countered and created Love.
***Life is real, the Matrix is a piece of shit.
***Every girl on the planet is in some way, shape or form a Trick Ass Hoe.
***Girls think all guys are assholes, but really they just bitch too much.
***The best things in life are free.
***Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
***Drinking's overrated. Grow up and snort coke.
***Basketball is officially Blacks-ketball. Stop trying Whitey.
***The only good rappers you listen to are Tupac, Nas and Kanye.
***NICK CANNON IS HILARIOUS!
***Dressing gay isn't trendy. Stop shopping at Hollister.
***God took a giant shit on California and named it Laguna Beach.
***I don't care what the Bible says, your relatives were once monkeys.
***Part of me wants to think God is real... but in the times of my life that I do, I come to regret it because I realize how completely ignorant most Christians are.
***The end of the world is coming very soon.
***Quit denying it, you loved the Backstreet Boys AND N*Sync.
***Damn... it really does feel good to be a gangsta.
***MTV is a whore for money and doesn't care about you or music. I know it hurts. Just get over it.
***Ben Folds would kick...your...aaaaaaass
***...So would Shaimus.
***Streamwood parties suck - throw one worth talking about.
***Real men don't WEAR pink. Real men GET pink.
***The only way to ruin Christmas is to kill Santa or become a cop.
***I know you're gay cuz you have a rainbow colored bumper sticker that says, "I like having balls in my face."
***Mike Gardener may very well be an Angel sent from heaven.
***Sam Foote is so damn adorable.
***Elias Zavala can't speak english. "Guess who am I?!"
***Getting pulled over for suspicion of drunk driving was awesomely hilarious.
***Almost getting arrested for having an airsoft gun was not as hilarious.
---- I could watch this video FOREVER!
***The Lion King, Click, and Reign Over Me are the only movies good enough to make me cry.
***Oh yeah, and My Girl.
***It doesn't matter what song you have on your myspace... a Chain Reaction sound effect at the beginning makes it better.
***Beards are far better than chinstraps and all other various forms of facial hair.
THINGS I DON'T KNOW:
***Can God microwave a hot pocket so hot He Himself can't eat it?
***After a blind person takes a shit, how does he know when he's done wiping?
***Why do drive-thru ATMs have Braille on them?
***Why are those with literally nothing also those that never complain?
