Damn Dirty Apes

I'd like to meet:

Swingin' primates!

JUNGLE NEWS Ray Park is Snake Eyes! That's right primates the man who kicked-ass in EPISODE 1 is playing the greatest character in the upcoming GI JOE movie! Awesome! More JUSTICE LEAGUE casting news! Australian supermodel Megan Gale will play Wonder Woman! Yes that Megan Gale (Google her)! And relative unknown Armie Hammer will play Batman. As reported before Adam Brody will play the Flash, Rapper Common will play John Stewart/Green Lantern, and Teresa Palmer is cast as Talia al Ghul, daughter of Ra's al Ghul. Still no conformation on Superman yet but it's getting close! Sienna Miller has been cast as the Baroness in the upcoming film adaptation of GI JOE Markie Mark is MAX PAYNE! That's right primates, Mark Wahlberg is in negotiations to star in the gritty video game adaptation. I felt like the game was like being in a movie but the film would just be another revenge flick. And it will probobly be watered down like HITMAN to get that all-important PG-13. Winona Ryder to play Spock's mom? JJ has cast someone who is clearly six monthes older than his Spock. But seriously this is an odd casting, maybe it's a flashback or something, I don't know. But I thought Kirk is the main character, but clearly this is Spock's movie. More TREK casting news! Jennifer Morrison of HOUSE fame is rumored to be playing the part of Carol Marcus the mother of Kirk's son. And young Aussie actor Chris Hemsworth will be playing Kirk's dad. How much time-traveling will be in this movie? Well, it is STAR TREK. Daniel Craig has signed on to do four more BOND films. Clooney playing Duke? Well maybe. George Clooney has been offered the part of Duke in the G.I. JOE movie adaptation. No word if he is even considering it. But we will find out! Jason Statham will return to play the cranked-up hitman Chev Chelios in CRANK 2: HIGH VOLTAGE Check out the new WANTED pics in the slideshow! STAR TREK gets boned! Karl Urban has been cast as Dr. McCoy in the upcoming film. Simon Pegg is Scottie! That is the best bit of casting JJ has done yet! STAR TREK may turn out okay yet. Maybe. DISTURBIA 2 is in the works. No word yet on Shia's involvement or director DJ Carusso. Will Farrell to reprise his role as Marshall Willenholly? Well not exactly he is set to star in the film adaptation of THE LAND OF THE LOST. It will be a spoof based on the classic childrens TV show Eric Bana to play villain in STAR TREK! He will play a character named Nero, all that's all we get. We know nothing about the character as usual with JJ, ah well he is a great choice anyway. A new TERMINATOR trilogy is in the works. TERMINATOR SALVATION: THE FUTURE BEGINS is set to start production in erly '08 and is expected to reboot the franchise (get it? Reboot? Ah forget it. Does anybody read this shit anyway?) Transformers 2 is being fast-tracked to beat the looming strike. John Woo's THE KILLER to be re-made and Americanized. Hollywood, please find some original material! EVERQUEST movie? Variety is reporting that Avi Arad and Sony pictures are making it with Brian Gordon of 300 fame writing ERBZine.com is reporting that Disney/Pixar are in preproduction on a JOHN CARTER OF MARS trilogy. With the first film planned to hit screens some time before 2012. Awesome! 2 Medellins? With no Vinnie Chase in site! Joe Carnahan is directing KILLING PABLO and now Oliver Stone is producing ESCOBAR with Antoine Fuqua to direct. Once again we have two studios producing movies on the ame subject. How original. TV shows that are in trouble are FOX's NASHVILLE, and K-VILLE, NBC's JOURNEYMAN, ABC's CAVEMEN, and BIG SHOTS. So you might as well take them off of your season passes now. FOX has already taken NASHVILLE off of it's schedule. "We are no longer doing movies with women in the lead" said Warner Bros. president of production Jeff Robinov. Mother fracker! What century do we live in? I understand the frustration that he feels with Jodie Foster's THE BRAVE ONE and Nicole Kidman's INVASION underperforming at the b.o. but maybe that's is because they sucked! Get your head outta you arse! Vin Diesel is in talks to play a man-made killing machine in T4! Hopefully he doesn't get any more lines than Arnie did in T1! And if that wasn't bad enough, McG is rumored to be in talks to direct (sigh). There are rumors that Univerasal, the studio behind SERENITY are so impressed by the sales of the recently released special edition DVD that they are considering doing a sequel. It may a direct-to-dvd sequel that's so popular latelybut at least it's something! Let's hope Joss is involved. Entertainment Weekly is reporting that Peter Jackson is closer than ever to helming the maiden voyage of JRR Tolkien. THE HOBBIT! As the litigation process winds down the two sides are beging to talk about the project again. "Victory!" VIKING QUEST star Johnny "Drama" Chase is set to star in a National Lampoon spoof of 300, with the glorious title of 301: THE LEGEND OF AWESOMEST MAXIMUS WALLACE LEONIDIDAS. It is the story of a bumbling Spartan general. Seriously Kevin Dillon will be great in this role. Paul Walker and Vin Diesel are in talks to reunite in the fourth installment of the FAST AND FURIOUS series James Purefoy of ROME fame will star in SOLOMON KANE a film based on the stories of CONAN creator Robert E. Howard MAN OF STEEL, Bryan Singer's Superman sequel has been postponed indefinitely. Looks like WB is putting all of thier eggs into JUSTICE LEAGUE's basket does that mean Brandon Routh could play Supes in JLA? There are rumblings, I'll keep you posted! Shia to play Y: THE LAST MAN? DJ Caruso director of the comic book adaptaion wants Shia to play the lead and Shia wants the part, so don't be surprised to hear an announcement soon! Tarintino turns down HEROES?! He told the Sun "They were trying to get me to do one. I haven't even seen the fucking show. What the fuck is Heroes?" Sounds like the paycheck wasn't big enough! MASS EFFECT rocks!