Writer, proud Democrat, obsessive Red Sox and Patriots fan, pop culture slave, book whore, sleep deprived, coffee devotee, hater of hot weather, lover of snow, TWoP'er, always a bridesmaid, emotional paramedic, bitter but not jaded, animal lover, meat eater, Sephora worshipper, unapologetic Wal-Mart shopper, poker player, news junkie, the darker the humor the better, goes past second base on the first date, willing to try anything twice. But I'm really just waiting for my Forney Hull.
"When I was a child, the Boston Red Sox didn't have a nation. We had a crusty old white bitch running the team, good seats still available and a raging inferiority complex when compared to the 16-time World Champion Boston Celtics. Now, the white bitch and good seats are gone, and everyone who likes the team is a citizen of the Red Sox Nation. Initially, I'll admit, I thought the Nation was a cute little counterpoint to the Yankees' Evil Empire. But I never thought anyone would be insane enough to take this Nation thing literally by electing a president. What's next? Application for recognition by the United Nations? In any event, I seriously hope the fucking dog wins, because if we end up with an egomaniac like Mike Barnicle, the Nation will probably secede from the Union and trigger a Sunni-Shiite style conflict as Sox fans coast-to-coast start to arm themselves every time the Yankees pull within six games." -Esquire.com
"Then there's this whole business of liberals who are accused of 'rooting' for failure in Iraq. I'm sorry, but the next pundit who whips that one out should have his balls stuffed down his throat. You cocksuckers beat the drum to send these kids to war, and then you turn around and accuse us of rooting for them to die? Fuck you for even thinking that. We're Americans just like you. You don't have the right to get us into this mess and then turn around and call us traitors. Your credibility is long gone on this issue. Shut up about us." -Matt Taibbi