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I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

Now gather 'round, I'm the new fool in town. And my sound's laid down by The Underground. I'll drink a bottle of Hennessey you got on your shelf. So just let me introduce myself. My name is Humpty. Pronounced with the Umpty. And yo ladies, oh how I'd like to fump thee. And all you rappers in the top 10, please allow me to bump thee. I'm steppin' tall, y'all, and just like Humpty Dumpty. You're gonna fall when the stereos pump me. I like to rhyme, I like my beats funky. I'm spunky, I like my oatmeal lumpy. I'm sick with this. Straight gangsta mack. But some times I get ridiculous. I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice. Hey yo, fat girl! C'mere, are you ticklish? Yeah, I called you fat, look at me, I'm skinny. It never stopped me from gettin' busy. I'm a freak. I like the girls with the boom. I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom. I'm crazy. Allow me to amaze thee. They say I'm ugly but it just don't phase me. I'm still gettin' in the girls' pants. And I even got my own dance...

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

LADIES. Ladies love me, girls adore me. I mean even the ones that never saw me. Like the way that I rock at a show. The reason why? Man, I don't know, so let's go, 'cause...

My Blog

End of an Era

Brett Favre retired today.  Oddly enough, I saw it coming after this season more than I did after last season, when he was crying on New Years' Eve after beating The Bears.  I was hoping for...
Posted by on Tue, 04 Mar 2008 09:35:00 GMT

I Love My Job...

I'm still flying high off of working another episode of "Boston Legal" the past couple of days.  The producers brought me back for another episode in which I mistakenly bust William Sha...
Posted by on Tue, 02 Oct 2007 07:12:00 GMT

The Hardest Moment of My Life...

...was to end my romantic relationship with Amy last Friday night.  I was crying.  For all the wonderful times we shared, there was a part of me still holding back from giving myself over to...
Posted by on Tue, 04 Sep 2007 08:36:00 GMT

I like Big Tits...

...and I cannot lie...you other brothers can't deny...that when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a plump chest in your face, you get SPRUNG!  'Cause you noticed that bra was STUFFED!!...
Posted by on Wed, 29 Aug 2007 00:47:00 GMT

My Superbuddy

Let me tell you a little bit about Amy Joy.  She's too hot to handle, too cold to hold.  They call her Ghostbusters 'cause she's in control.  She likes Boyz II Men, Big Brother, and Ree...
Posted by on Wed, 08 Aug 2007 23:22:00 GMT

"There's everybody else, and then there's Mark Harmon..."

I've been slacking a bit in the blogging department.  It's been a busy year so far.  Finished my play "Beautiful City" at The Open Fist Theatre in Feb.  Worked a couple episodes of "The...
Posted by on Sat, 09 Jun 2007 11:59:00 GMT

Life on the cutting room floor

I know it happens.  It's happened to me before (several times), and it will happen to me again.  I just didn't want it to happen to me on "The Office."  I got edited out for time constr...
Posted by on Mon, 19 Feb 2007 07:24:00 GMT

When You Get Too Hot To Handle...Too Cold To Hold...

Friday, Feb. 2nd.  I picked up my girlfriend Amy from the L.A. Airport @ 9:45am.  I took her with me to an audition I had in Manhattan Beach @ 11am for Boston Legal.  I also had an audi...
Posted by on Wed, 14 Feb 2007 12:47:00 GMT

Scranton, PA, here I come!

I had never auditioned for Allison Jones Casting before last Friday.  Last Friday I had my first chance with her office.  I got to audition/improv with Larry David and Jeff Garlin for a role...
Posted by on Sat, 20 Jan 2007 10:00:00 GMT

Audi 5000, G.

Time to pack it up, pack it in, let me begin... Leaving L.A. for Palmetto, Florida to sweat my ass off for Christmas.  Then pushing on to Appleton, Wisconsin to freeze my ass off for New Year's.&...
Posted by on Thu, 21 Dec 2006 12:19:00 GMT