I'd like to meet:
Ladies. I think they're neat. They talk real funny and sometimes I don't know what they're saying but I still think they're neat.
Music:
Nerd rap, Hair rock, Nerd rock, Hair rap, Monk Chants, Hair monk-chants. Here let me get specific with examples (like for real dawg) Jimmy Eat World, Radiohead, Tool, Mars Volta, Pixies, Company Flow, Del The Funkee Homosapien (funkiest homosapien I know, except me), Aesop Rock, Mr. Lif, Queens of the Stone Age, TV on the Radio.
Movies:
Pulp Fiction, True Romance, Better Off Dead, Deep Cover, Heat,Silence of the Lambs, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Fight Club, Ground Hog Day, Fletch, Swingers, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Ace Ventura, Naked Gun, I'm Gonna Get You Sucka, Batman Begins, Borat, All the Presidents Men, Point Break, The Prestige.
Television:
Entourage, Simpsons (old school), Sports, Sportscenter, Daily Show, Colbert Report. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (new season not til September--what the hell?), Rescue Me, Heros, 30 Rock, Burn Notice, Psych, Sabado Gigante-es muy terrifico! Videos on MTV (I have a time machine), Scrubs (before they started doing musicals and episodes where the entire cast gathers in the room of patient to discuss his recent suicide attempt. Shades of the Seinfeld goes to India episode, Scrappy Doo, and the red head kid on Different Strokes.
Books:
I love books. I cook my books. So I can make it look like I have money. I heard the ladies be liking that shit. I also ocassionally read. Some of my favorite books: The Comedy Writer by Peter Farelly, Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk, Confessions of an Economic Hitman by John Perkins, and anything by your mom.
Heroes:
Green Lantern, The Flash, Hawk Man. Plastic Man, Ruber Man, Trojan Man, Prophylatic Man, French Tickler Man, This Shit Will Make Your Old Lady Feel Damn Good Man, You Gonna Want Some More of this Shit So Just Let Me Know How Much and I'll Put in an Order On Line I Know This Guy Who Knows a Guy Who He Gets Me An Awesome Discount Man (He's been a hell of a mentor and probably the person most responsible for everything you've read here today. He was raised in a mental institution and he only sleeps an hour a day. He's a great man and for some reason everybody thinks that I'm him...uh-oh.