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Heidi

I am here for Networking

About Me

you can tell, from the scars on my arms and cracks in my hips and the dents in my car and the blisters on my lips that i'm not the carefullest of girls.~~ you can tell, from the glass on the floor and the strings that're breaking and i keep on breaking more and it looks like i am shaking but it's just the temperature and then again~~ if it were any colder i could disengage. if i were any older i could act my age. but i dont think that youd believe me? it's not the way i'm meant to be it's just the way the operation made me... and you can tell, from the state of my room that they let me out too soon and the pills that i ate came a couple years too late and ive got some issues to work through there i go again pretending to be you make-believing that i have a soul beneath the surface trying to convince you it was accidentally on purpose~~ i am not so serious this passion is a plagiarism i might join your century but only on a rare occasion i was taken out before the labor pains set in and now behold the world's worst accident~~ and you can tell, by the red in my eyes and the bruises on my thighs and the knots in my hair and the bathtub full of flies that i'm not right now at all there i go again pretending that i'll fall don't call the doctors cause they've seen it all before they'll say just let her crash and burn she'll learn the attention just encourages her~~ and you can tell, from the full-body cast that i'm sorry that i asked though you did everything you could (like any decent person would) but i might be catching so don't touch you'll start believeing youre immune to gravity and stuff don't get me wet because the bandages will all come off~~~ and you can tell, from the smoke at the stake that the current state is critical well it is the little things, for instance: in the time it takes to break it she can make up ten excuses: please excuse her for the day, its just the way the medication makes her~~ i dont necessarily believe there is a cure for this so i might join your century but only as a doubtful guest i was too precarious removed as a caesarian behold the worlds worst accident........... ..This profile was edited with Thomas' myspace editor™ V2.5

My Interests

~ when i am cleaning my house i have a personal dance party ~daft punk~ myself and the broom and dishes~ I want to have the most exciting life possible ~ i don't think things should ever be left unsaid~ i think everyone should speak there mind but only from their heart~ i like to dance~ i had a dream i was in a video "and she was" by the talking heads~ catch was in the "dream" video the talking heads were Divo~ it was awesome i was 13 at the time and developed a love for music not well liked by my friends~ i have been living that video every sense then~ Buttttt.... i really cant "dance" and no not like that person who says " oh i suck at pool" so then you bet them $20 and then they take your money and say" oh that was a fluke" but i have fun and that is all that matters~ that being said i really want to take salsa lessons and ballroom dancing!! then once i can dance i intend to drive everyone crazy with my mad skills:) my main "interest" is for sure my son~ he is 10 years old and smarter than any adult i know~granted with me for a mom he has been brought up in a world where i encouraged his 7 year fascination with barbies and his 8 year old dream of being a hair dresser, now he wants to be a casting director who plays soccer. i have been so blessed to have this child~ i freely admit i want more children~ i love being a mom so very much~ Other interest in my life at this time ( August 2007) mum lets see... Ready..... here is where i seem like some crazy chick~ i write all the time ~poems~ songs~ short stories~you can see some of it here on myspace in my blogs~ i have a great habit of posting them then feeling naked and deleting them only month latter you may see it again~ if my computer crashes it is all lost yet i find that strangely romantic~ i have a plan for the day the zombies come~meet me in the building beside the french bar ~ go down the breezeway and to the left and you will see a short door come and knock to the tune of "love cats" by the cure and i will let you in~ we will eat pigeons and drink rain water~it is too much to put here it is a very in-depth plan..OH subject change~~~~~ i want to knit~ i want my sheets to match all the time~ i want to be cuddled every night~ i am terrified of the dark~ i am not afraid of anyone~i love Starbucks-- i love gourmet perks, Josh is the best coffee maker in town~ i want to die my hair~ i tried but it turned orange~ i love Popsicles~ wake up with the rain.. it is all a beautiful dream~writing after a few glasses of wine is intriguing~ to say the least~ i love spell check~ thank you Mr or miss PC for providing me this great creative~innovative thing to express myself on~ one day i am going to write a romance story ~ and it is going to be the most beautiful thing ever written for it will be mine~and that one i will keep all to myself and the one i fall in love with~~i believe in fairy-tales and i want one ( june 12 2007) ~~ ~~~~~ up date on the love thing and this i am writing in (october of 2007) so i am totaly compleatly in love, i told you i would have a wonderfull love story and i have it!! Cataldo is the one and as i have informed him i am going to love the hell out of him and i do~ everyday.

I'd like to meet:

A group of midgets who will let me pretend to be their Snow White.People who realize what a genius i am and than we can talk about how wonderful i am.Yes that sounds nice.I also would like to meet a midget Zombie who will let me keep it in my closet and bring it out to play when i get bored((a very angry lil sucker)).Thank you

Music:

BULLETS N'LACE~~The Clientele~~Elvis Presley~~ Raidohead~~Rouge Wave~~Nouvelle Vague~~Billie Holiday~~Arcade Fire~~KraftworK~~Coldplay~~The Cure--The Essex Grean~~ Wanda Jackson~~50 cent~~The rolling stones~~Modest Mouse~~Dolly Parton~~ELO~~Tori Amos~~Nirvana~~Daft PunK~~WENDY CARLOS~~PiXies~~Hank Williams the first second and third~~Francoise Hardy~~The Kills~~ The Flaming lips~~ The Beatles~~ Cat Power~~ David Bowie~~Etta James~~Beethoven~~BACH~~ Tricky~~Peaches~~Patsy Cline~~ The white Stripes~~JOHNNY Cash~~Experimental Lucas~~Sports~~Speedsquare~~The firecracker Jazz band~~Holly Golightly~~Ramones~~ARCADE FIRE~~Old crow medicine show~~The beastie boys~~The CLash~~Dr Dre~~((((any 80s music i must say i probley love it)))Devo~~PRiNce~~Michael Jackson~~The Jackson 5~~Buddy holly~~SHINY TOY GUNS~~BecK~~Portishead~~The Smiths~~Dungue Fever~~The Shins~~Willie Nelson~~Pet shop boys~~Andrea Bocelli~~Billy Idol~~~~~~~~I Love the following soundtracks---....Rent......Amelie....Grease--although i haven't seen the movie "Grease" yet....My very favorite though of all whole have to be my 9 year old child singing show tunes and turning of the radio in our car so that he can sing to me...that is my very favorite....etc.....

Movies:

~Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind~ ~house if yes~ ~say Anything~ ~breakfast at Tiffany's~ ~run Lola run~ ~Amelie~ ~city of lost children~ ~the swimming pool~ ~ZOMBIE honeymoon~ ~house of the dead~ ~night of the dead~ ~ 28 days latter~ ~resident evil i and 2 ~~~~OK,OK all zombie movies~~~~ ~sister ohh sister~ ~Rockey horror picture show~ ~matchmaker~ ~harry potter movies~ ~the last unicorn~ ~the lion king~ ~one flew over the coo coo's nest~ ~ a clockwork orange~ ~sex and Lucia~ ~the princes bride~ ~labyrinth~~~ ~24 HOUR PARTY PEOPLE!!!!~~ ~Harold and Maude~ ~Kill bill 1 and 2 ~ ~Walk the line~ ~Jaws~ ~ Rushmore~ ~Scarecrow~ ~True Romance ~ ~A Very Long Engagement~ ~Almost Famous~ ~American History X~ ~American Psycho~ ~Basketball Diaries~ ~Bastard out of Carolina~ ~Beetlejuice~ ~Blow~ ~Charlie and the Chocolate Factory~ ~Chasing Amy~ ~Clerks~ ~Edward Scissorhands~ ~Fight Club~ ~Fear~ ~Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas~ ~Finding Nemo~ ~Forrest Gump~ ~Fried Green Tomatos~ ~Ghost World~ ~ The Goonies~ ~Lolita~ ~Natural Born Killers~ ~Party Monster~ ~Requiem for a Dream~ ~Romeo and Juliet~ ~Whats Eating Gilbert Grape~ ~Donnie Darko~ ~ Ferris Bueller's Day Off~ ~Sixteen Candles~ ~The Shining~ ~Pieces of April~~Mallrats~ ~The Breakfast Club~ ~~pORN 70'S PORN AND MIDGET PORN~~~

Television:

~~I LOVE THE ANTIQUE ROAD SHOW ON PBS~~ ohh and Greys anatomy is a guilty pleasure i really got in to last year

Books:

~~Confessions of a mildly perverted young writer ~ this book had me laughing out loud and wondering just what a man-gina would feel like as well as what a colonic would look like from a doctors point of view~~ Geek Love~ this book i first read about 3 years ago,i borrowed it from a friend who said that with my midget fetish and love of circus freaks i would love it,well i did it is probably my favorite book of all because it really brings each character to life ,from the midget hump back albino to her beautiful daughter with a tail and the parents who with love and careful use of toxic fluids set about poisoning themselves to create the most amazing freak show ever~~Heaven~ (this book made me realize you can escape reality in a book and i will never forget that) i read this book in 4th grade out of sight of my parents who never would have allowed such to be read when in their eyes the bible is what i should have been reading under the covers at night not a book about a sexually abused young orphan whit cornflower blue eyes~~Housekeeping ~this is the story of a sad depressed family who never come to terms,fucking depressing but a good honest piture of America in the 70's~Naked~running with scissors~trail of tears~old history books~~~~yea,yea, i like to read poems~~i love reading all of the things i have written in the past,seeing what was going on~ Really i love most books as i will to continue educating myself until the day i die,i sometimes wish i had more Patience and would read more things that don't catch me right away~~ I love you forever is about the sweetest baby book ever it made me cry when Tristen was little~~

Heroes:

Betty Page

My Blog

Monday Bloody Monday

first the outside of her thigha clean short slashif anyone asks~ she bumped into the vanitysecond the palm of her handa small pin prickif anyone asks~ it was a thumb tackthird her upper arma slash a b...
Posted by Heidi on Tue, 23 Oct 2007 07:45:00 PST

My demon

as i stare into the darknessi feel the demons i have held at baythey are coming to  to haunt mealways there~ taunting mein quite ways tormenting mesometimes i think i have stopped them that is du...
Posted by Heidi on Fri, 14 Sep 2007 11:46:00 PST

this is why we have plastic

i gaspin that split secondas the glasstumbles from my hand slowly turning somersaultsin a graceful arctowards the floor i can see the inevitableyet im powerless to stop italmo...
Posted by Heidi on Sun, 12 Aug 2007 02:01:00 PST

insurance

  We vaccinate, inoculate and medicate,barriers to keep us safe, protection from,diseases, viruses and bacteria, a cough, a sneeze, a handshake spreading poison.dangers that creep and spread unse...
Posted by Heidi on Mon, 06 Aug 2007 08:01:00 PST

eternal flame

consumed by eternal flames burned to a crisp from within killed by emotions without names to express them i can't begin mind to paper~ nothing between im just a conduit~ slave to a harsh queen driven...
Posted by Heidi on Wed, 18 Apr 2007 10:15:00 PST

i promise

Aren't you curious? Said the spider to the fly Tapping her fingers on a silken thread. My web is open Come in and you shall see Nothing here will frighten you Just little ole' me. I promise to Please ...
Posted by Heidi on Fri, 16 Mar 2007 02:07:00 PST

catch me

she dances suspended caught in a web between  pleasure and pain like a moth drawn to a flame she twirls and twists along a razors edge graceful are her steps she dances without fear wild and fre...
Posted by Heidi on Wed, 07 Mar 2007 07:59:00 PST

what a beautiful way

She is alone. Only a razors shiny edge caresses her now. Creeping crimsonflows over fragile flesh. She sits at the piano her only lover She thinks of the past and dismisses the future The red runs. ...
Posted by Heidi on Sat, 24 Feb 2007 10:25:00 PST

embrace the crazyness ,just dont look under the bed.

I wrote a blog a bit earlier tonight, i was upset,i am not sure why.. just feeling down.. i guess one could call it crazy? sometimes i think i go crazy, i have insane thoughts. I want to turn my skin ...
Posted by Heidi on Thu, 18 Jan 2007 10:56:00 PST

a wild ride ~ a quick fall~and joy and peace after all

a year was spentwatching the world go bythrough these dark rimmed eyeslife was a constant pleasure, until the pain took it away"what is this?" i would say"will this take my pain away?"brought up in th...
Posted by Heidi on Tue, 14 Nov 2006 08:42:00 PST