Funny americans |
Only in america... a pizza can get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in America... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. Only in America... do we use answering ma...
Posted by Lexx on Wed, 01 Nov 2006 07:45:00 PST |
Desecration Cell |
Feeling strange to my myself.Feeling pierced by my own reflectionof sorrow and despair.Trapped in the feeling of desolation.Isolated in my jail cellI fear abstaction, for I who lead to this.I reach fo...
Posted by Lexx on Fri, 25 Aug 2006 09:14:00 PST |
Heartless |
Heartless
By McKay Faamasino
Feeling pain, despairingly, demonic
Discovering the true side of my darkness
I grasp my grip into evil and hatred
I have become heartless
I vision hen...
Posted by Lexx on Thu, 15 Dec 2005 01:41:00 PST |
12 Ways to Get Rid of Telemarketers |
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. 2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Alternate...
Posted by Lexx on Wed, 05 Oct 2005 12:58:00 PST |
22 Fun things To Do In An Elevator |
1.Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!" 2.Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly. 3.Crack open your brie...
Posted by Lexx on Wed, 05 Oct 2005 12:54:00 PST |
Top 50 Signs You Have A Drinking Problem |
You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
Classes interfering with your drinking.
Your doctor finds traces of blood in your al...
Posted by Lexx on Wed, 05 Oct 2005 12:45:00 PST |
Things NOT to say to the nice police officer |
I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. Aren't you the guy from the Village People? Hey, you must've been doin' about ...
Posted by Lexx on Wed, 05 Oct 2005 12:35:00 PST |
38 Reasons Why Carrots Are Better Than Men |
The average carrot is at least 6" long.
Carrots stay hard for a week.
Carrots don't get too excited.
Carrots are easy to pick up.
You can fondle carrots in a supermarket...and you know how firm ...
Posted by Lexx on Mon, 22 Aug 2005 01:17:00 PST |
28 Reasons Why Beer is Better Than a Woman |
1. You can enjoy a beer all month long.
2. Beer stains wash out.
3. You don't have to wine and dine beer.
4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play football.
5. When yo...
Posted by Lexx on Mon, 22 Aug 2005 01:13:00 PST |
38 Rude & Crude Pick-up Lines |
1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day. 2. Nice legs...what time do they open? 3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package. 4. You've got 206 bones in your body...
Posted by Lexx on Mon, 22 Aug 2005 01:05:00 PST |
