organization |
I paid my fourteen year old son to clean the fridge. Now the Thanksgiving turkey is in the vegetable crisper. The top left shelf is for "things that come from cows.' There is a section for "stuff in b...
Posted by on Mon, 23 Nov 2009 22:07:00 GMT |
The philosophy of nose picking |
I had a philosophical discussion with my children about nose picking. This is the progression.You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't pick your friends' nose.You can pick yo...
Posted by on Fri, 11 Sep 2009 20:58:00 GMT |
Pet Peeves |
Why do people always describe dead people as having been, "so full of life"? Did they never notice how much life thier loved ones had until it was gone? When I die I'd like to be described as someone ...
Posted by on Sun, 09 Aug 2009 22:10:00 GMT |
If only I were taller... |
My whole life people have said, "It's over your head." Sometimes they don't say anything. They just make a wind-like noise and pass their hands over the tops of their heads. Often times when they say ...
Posted by on Mon, 06 Jul 2009 21:56:00 GMT |
The hazards of a religious upbringing |
When I was a kid they taught me that Jesus walked on water. When I was a kid they told me that I should try to be like Jesus. So, I put floaties on my feet. My feet floated. My head sank. I remember w...
Posted by on Tue, 30 Jun 2009 19:29:00 GMT |
the trouble with unicorns |
The trouble with unicorns is that they're lushes. It's due mostly to boredom. Unicorns are outdated. They have nothing to do. Even if they weren't far too proud, they'd still be over-qualified to do t...
Posted by on Wed, 17 Jun 2009 19:17:00 GMT |
resigned to bubble baths |
You know how you can change the water pressure on your shower head? Some malicious and evil person has set mine to "kill" and I can't get it to change back to normal. This is what it's like to shower ...
Posted by on Thu, 11 Jun 2009 19:56:00 GMT |
overworked? |
My first thought this morning was to worry about the health of the earthworms. Are they cool enough? Is it moist enough and how will I keep them moist over the weekend? I'm also concerned about dispos...
Posted by on Thu, 28 May 2009 19:59:00 GMT |
Do dead mice still poop? |
It's entirely possible that I'm too drunk to type. I should have a designated typist. However, none appears and the words keep rolling off my fingers. So, read at your own risk, you night get a ticket...
Posted by on Tue, 12 May 2009 22:25:00 GMT |
golf ball prestige |
I went to a conference for work today. It was at the Skyline Country Club. I was instantly amused as I checked in with the guard and drove past all the BMW's and Lexus in my $500., 1987, paint-coming-...
Posted by on Thu, 07 May 2009 20:32:00 GMT |
